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2.5 year not talking st nursery

(5 Posts)
Soscaredaboutitall Fri 17-Mar-17 02:07:45

Hi all, my 2.5 year old has been going to a nursery for the last 6 months. She attends 3 mornings a week. I was called into the nursery last month and told by the staff that they concerned with her as she seems socially awkard and wanted to refer her for a SEN assessment. I was a little shocked but agreed as i thought this would be in her best interest. I had the opportunity to obvious her in a session lately and was now told that her key worker was trying to spend time with her in each session one on one playing and she seen that she has been improving but still does not play much with the other children. She also remarked that when other children push in front of her at the slide she doesn't react and let's them just push in. I didn't have an issue with the spending one on one time away from the main group as I thought she could benefit from the additional attention to build her confident. However now I'm concerned that they are also segregated her and treating her differently without an official assessment from the SEN people.

When I spoke to the key worker about my daughter while she was in the area, my daughter started to talk to me and she appeared shocked as she hadn't heard her speak before. She also told me that she's never seen her excited about anything and will sometimes sit with her head hung. I really don't understand this as she's a different girl at home, chatter and hyper. I'm also very upset with myself that I send her somewhere where shes not happy. I guess ny question is should I continue to send as she has been showing some improvement or just pull her out.

Melbabes6 Sun 25-Jun-17 19:54:59

I am in a similar situation. My LG is 2y3 and is very advanced with her communication and language. She started at preschool after Easter and she literally doesn't say a word there. She cries when I drop her off. I haven't seen any observations and had no reassurance on how well she's settled. Sorry I can't help but wanted to say I understand your situation.

Member652554 Thu 13-Jul-17 11:02:10

Hi OP. First of all. I would say please be reassured that your nursery sounds like a good one in that they are willing to spend time on 1 to 1 with your dd and that they have been observing her so closely and involved you so well . That sounds like they actually care and have good systems in place.

Having said that I understand that you are concerned about your dd not being her happy self when at nursery.

I would say have another meeting with them and explain to them that you haven't had any developmental concerns with her, you can take her HV records with you for support .
You could also do some stay and play sessions with your dd so she builds up her confidence in the nursery with you there to support. I don't know about your working hours but maybe if you go in half an hour earlier with her every time you are dropping her off so that you can settle her in rather than just a quick drop off , this may help her see that nursery is a safe happy place too.

I would also suggest you take some video footage of your dd of when she is at home, happily talking, playing etc and show her key worker during your meeting. This will show them that what she is actually off and hopefully encourage them to get the best out of her at nursery.

Lastly I would also suggest taking In some off he home comforts maybe some toys or blanket etc anything that makes it more homely.

Sorry about the long reply but it's something I am also dealing with so I am sharing what I have come up with so far.

All the best

cookielove Sat 26-Aug-17 12:38:32

Did they actually say she was socially awkward? 😮😮😮

That is awful!

And the point about her moving aside when someone pushes in is not a link to SEN, sounds like to me she needs to build her confidence in social situations, she clearly has the ablity to speak and engage with adults but just need's a confidence boost.

Did she start recently? What often happens is the a large percentage of nursery children start in baby room and move up through nurseries, so there confidence is already developing, the rooms are busy and full of loud children all wanting their voice heard, so new children entering the setting can find it quite hard to find their place even if they are confident at home.

Does she go any where else with you? Could you take her to play sessions where you will be there but hang back so she can learn to speak up ?

FYI I have worked in a nursery for over 10 years and have a three year old with speech delay

Imaginosity Sun 27-Aug-17 21:18:20

She's still so young - her social skillls are only developing. I wouldn't overly worry yet about her - but at the same time its no harm to look at any concerns just in case.

Is she a bit shy away from her family? I was very chatty at home as a child but hardly opened my mouth at school. I probably would have benefited from some help to build up my confidence. Be careful not to make any quietness an 'issue' in front of her. I always got the impression from my parents that my shyness was a negative thing - which just made me feel more shy. I know there is a thing called selective mutism - google that - not sure if it is relevant tp your DD.

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