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Help me see the wood for the trees

(5 Posts)
burnishedgold Wed 25-Jan-17 14:32:07

First world dilemma I know, but would really appreciate some MN perspective as I can't see the wood from the trees.

Two DCs, one 2.8 and one .8. I go back to work in April. We currently have a combination of p/t nanny and GP four days a week, she is lovely and we're very happy with this arrangement. Either DH or I are at home one day a week. DC 1 would probably benefit from being in a nursery a couple of days a week as she will start school in 18 months. We've been on nursery waiting lists for 18 months. We've been offered:

1. A place in a lovely small pre-school 5 minutes from where we live, matching the days we wanted. The challenge is, its term time only, probably only mornings (as DC still naps and they don't do naps) and it's probably a good start to nursery life, but ultimately we would probably look to move her in 6 months or so to a more structured environment.

2. A place in a lovely nursery (rated outstanding for what it's worth, other one not yet rated) about 25 minutes walk away. This is probably our longer term choice. The challenge is it's only two days a week, and one of those days is my NWD.

To make more complicated our house is about to go on the market, we're looking to move in the same area (and any move probably won't be for 6 -8 months). The second nursery is probably more likely to be within commutable distance, but may not be.

All things being equal, I would go with the small pre-school as a gentle start to nursery life (and a conveniently close one to get used to new routines with two DC plus working!) and then move to the other nursery (or another nursery if we are moving and can get in elsewhere) in September.

The dilemma is, are we being unreasonable in putting her in a nursery knowing we will want to move in 6 months. The other dilemma, is that the second nursery can't guarantee a place for September (were quite far down the list apparently, but others aren't interested in the two days they have now) they think it's more likely than not. If we take the place now, we'll at least be guaranteed three days in September, they will also see if we can move days (so it doesn't cover my NWD) but again this may not be possible.

WWYD? If we accept the two days is more continuity for her, but I loose time with her and baby gets less one on one time in the week. We may also be in a different position by September so that none of these options work so we will have done all this for nothing. If we don't accept, then we may not get a September place in the nursery we think best for her long term....

HSMMaCM Wed 25-Jan-17 18:15:28

I would go for the place you're going to stick with, to save the upset of a move. Put your name on a waiting list for the days you want and keep asking if they're available. You don't have to send her if you want to go out for a day.

NickyEds Wed 25-Jan-17 18:20:54

I would go for the pre school if your family and nanny can cover holidays etc. Is there a specific reason you would want to move her out of the pre school in 6 months? My ds goes to pre school and will stay there until school, just do gradually more/longer days.

tomatoplantproject Wed 25-Jan-17 18:35:05

I'd echo going to the one you think you can stick with.

My dd's nursery has a policy of putting the children who are already at the nursery at the top of the waiting list for spaces - is this worth checking out (so you start her off on the not quite ideal pattern but then don't have to wait as long for the days you want).

burnishedgold Wed 25-Jan-17 20:44:14

Thanks all I'm finding this so hard. Neither feed to a school so that's not an issue. The pre school is lovely but very small and so we think longer term school would be a bigger shock, hence proposing to move her in September but it would be a nice first step.

The nursery is bigger and more structured, but I feel like crying about having to give up my time with her on a Friday, we have such fun. Taking the two days now would guarantee we have a place but could also work against us as the nursery is quieter then and so it's harder to swap out of that day.

I'd hate to make that compromise now only to find we have to move later in the year and we can't find a house in commuting distance

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