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Best place for painfully shy DS

(7 Posts)
Izzy82 Sun 15-Jan-17 20:43:25

DS is 2 and 4 months. He went to a child minders when he was 1 for 3 days a week. It took him AGES to settle. When he was 2, I went on maternity leave so decreased his hours with CM but kept up 2 mornings a week for consistency.
He turns 3 in September so will go to pre school, just as I return to work in September. I know it will take him ages to settle and I have a feeling he will be miserable. When we go to toddler group, he won't leave my side. He won't go and play with anything if another child is already playing with it.
He isn't great at sharing his toys when another child comes to play. His language isn't great to be honest and he doesn't say on awful lot (I'm not worried about it, he just isn't as advanced as others his age.
So, my question is... do I put him in nursery now (the one he will go to in September) or do I leave him with a CM until September. He likes it there but there is only 1 other child. Do I need to be cruel to be kind and throw him in at the deep end or do I leave him in his comfort zone until September. I really don't think he'll like it at nirsery

sotiredbutworthit Sun 15-Jan-17 21:16:13

If you put him in nursery now, you will be available to support him through the tough first weeks. I'm sure it will be the making of him, but at the end of the day you have to go with your gut.

FineAsWeAre Mon 16-Jan-17 08:00:27

You may find he's different at nursery compared to toddler group, the staff will be able to support you with the transition and you'll feel better if he's settled before you go back to work. A good nursery will do as many visits as necessary until you're happy that he's ok. Not sharing at 2 is common, I work in a 2-3's room and the majority of ours don't but we model it for them and eventually they learn. They'll also support him with his speech (not that a childminder wouldn't but it seems to be one of the things you're concerned about).If it was me, I'd move him now x

Izzy82 Mon 16-Jan-17 09:55:16

Thank you both for your helpful replies. I've booked to have a meeting with the nursery on Wednesday which may put my mind at rest

Snap8TheCat Mon 16-Jan-17 09:57:59

I'd leave him with the childminder and. It nice him to preschool at all. Why change for the sake of it if it's not good for your son?

Snap8TheCat Mon 16-Jan-17 09:58:24

*not send

Biscuitswithtea Mon 23-Jan-17 19:14:42

OP I agree with your DS may well be different in different settings. We also have a painfully shy son (he's three and a half now) and he has been going to nursery 3x week since he was 13m old. Until very recently he wouldn't leave my side at playgroup or playdates. Nursery feedback is always that he is quieter than some children but he is happy. And I can tell that he enjoys himself from how he talks about it.
(Incidentally his language came on leaps and bounds this autumn when he was moved into preschool rm where it is an age range of 3-5)
We had the choice of starting the council preschool at age 3 or age 4 (he starts primary at 5yo, we are in Scotland) and we chose to wait til he is 4. He will be more ready this August than he was last August.

I guess what I'm saying is do what feels right for you and your son when you take into account what he needs now and the changes you know he will face starting school etc.

Hope that helps a bit and good luck 😊

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