Getting slightly annoyed at the nursery

[MYA2016]

Ds age 11 months has been at nursery for 5 weeks now.
He's settled in really well and loves going.
However I have 3 issues

1. Despite numerous requests, they keep only putting him down for a very short morning nap at 10am (he'll have 30 mins tops) and nothing in the afternoon. By the time i get him at 5pm he is exhausted to the point he can't stop crying and won't eat his dinner. When I've questioned it im told "he didn't seem tired" or yesterday "err oh yes he's not had a sleep this afternoon has he". Yet the same again today!
   

1. They keep forgetting to put his metanium on his bum! He is teething and gets nappy rash if it's not used. They keep putting sudocrem on him although I've told them it aggravates him more. His metanium is always sent in with him
   

1. Now they've started sending me photos of him absolutely covered head to toe in his dinner. Today it was spaghetti bolognase. Is this the norm? It's like he's literally been left to his own devices with his food. I spoon feed him at home as hes lazy with it and will just throw it and was told they would too but these pics hes literally covered head to toe. Surely they should be teaching babies how to eat properly? Or is it just me?
   

I really don't know where to go from here. I don't want to move him nurseries as he really likes it and i dont want to cause issues there either but I'm starting to get slightly annoyed that the girls in the room will nod and agree with what I ask in the mornings at drop off, but then at collection it's always a different story!

What would you do?

[Popskipiekin]

Don't speak to the girls, speak to the manager. We had a similar issue with our nursery forgetting to give DS his bottle, then giving cows milk when he was still under 1 and on formula, then giving it at the wrong time...! I tried the gentle approach with the very nice girls in his room but just wasn't getting through to them. Emailed the manager, we had good chat on the phone, everything was sorted.
On the metanium - when you say it's always sent in with him, do you mean your tube at home is sent in with DS every day? Could you get a separate tube which can be left at nursery?

[Heatherbell1978]

I would write an email to the nursery (presumably the manager will read it then), detailing what you've put here as yes I think they should be following your wishes. DS1 started nursery at 10 months and then moved 3 months later as we moved house. Both nurseries had an initial chat with me about DS's routine and both adhered to the naps we did at home and bottles etc. Also any creams/medications had to be provided by me and labelled with his name and were kept in his box. Both nurseries were strict about me providing unopened creams too (DS also only had metanium).

There were a few niggles I had with his second nursery, fairly minor, like never putting a bib on him despite him drooling everywhere and me providing him with plenty spares. I ended up writing an email and felt a bit bad about causing a fuss but everything was dealt with swiftly by the manager.

[fabulous01]

First and second point you need to speak to them. You will probably need to do lots of forms for the medicine but they should follow it
On the third. That is nursery. They are developing independence and baby will want to do it once they see other babies. And at least it is at nursery. Baby is learning ....

[Sillymummy81]

Agree with the above. Point one and two speak to the manager about.it should be sorted fairly quickly after that. And third- yep- the joys of nursery! Never ever send them in their best clothes!!

[DearMrDilkington]

Are they trying to get him to have a nap? Or only putting him down if he looks tired? If they are trying then there isn't much they can do if he won't sleep.

The nappy cream isn't good, if you've said he needs a certain cream that you provide then they need to use it.

The messy dinner eating isn't an issue. He won't learn to feed himself if you don't let him try, it's how they learn and it's a brilliant way to developing eye-hand skills.

[MYA2016]

Thanks for the repsense Pop. Glad to hear you got things sorted too.

He has a tube of metanium that goes in his nursery bag and stays there all the time (and another tube at home). The nursery already lost one tube of it that we sent in!

Ahh yes the cows milk that was another thing! When I queried a few weeks ago (he was 10.5 months) what he'd had for breakfast they said Weetabix. I said oh what do you make it with (as I only sent in 6oz formula in his bottle for his feed) and they said sheepishly 'cows milk'. Then asked me if I wanted them to stop giving it him!
I think I'll have to speak to the mgr I just feel bad getting them in trouble as they are lovely. The problem is that as I drop him off at 7.30am the staff that I see move rooms mid morning so no messages seem to get passed on. It's annoying me now

[Snap8TheCat]

Cows milk on cereal or in cooking is fine from 6months.

[fabulous01]

I have spoke lots of times and it does get sorted. Sometimes they don't realise impact. One of mine gets badly constipated and in prescription drugs. They weren't great st giving it. Then they saw how poorly she was and.... they now religiously give the sachets. It does take settling in time and there are always ups and downs. Welcome to the world of nurseries!

[firsttimemum15]

But babies can have cows milk in cooking and on cereal when being weaned at an appropriate age

[MYA2016]

Sorry - I took too long writing that and didn't see all other responses come in!
Okay I'll stop being picky about the food thing. I just worry that he's not eating? He eats so much at home throughout the day and now I'm questioning if the tears throughout the evening are due to hunger and not just exhaustion.

Dilkington, before Xmas he was having 2 x naps a day there no issues. This week they seem to have just given up. Every day he's had just a morning nap only and they've not told me its because they couldn't get him to sleep, it seems more that they're forgetting.
He is the kind of kid that needs some assistance. He'll keep tearing around otherwise but he always just drops off after his afternoon bottle at 2.30 pm normally.he is having his milk but I don't get why they're not investing a few mins then trying to get him off to sleep :(

[TheGruffaloMother]

I'm with fabulous on point 3. That's a fact of nursery for that age group. They get more civilised as the children get older but even now (DD is nearly 3) I don't send DD in wearing clothes I'm particularly fond of.

Definitely go straight to the manager about staff using sudocrem against your wishes. That's not at all OK.

Nap-wise, it's worth having a discussion about, but I'd be prepared to be told that he simply won't sleep for them in the afternoon. Having children asleep makes their job easier usually so I don't see why they'd purposefully keep him awake.

[Ineedanewbody]

Cows milk is fine in cereal but I would email about the rest. The naps especially would annoy me. Our nursery went through a phase of giving DS a nap even though he's dropped. I discovered it was easier for them and they got a break while the children slept but it meant he wouldn't go down until 10pm.

[DearMrDilkington]

What's the adult - child ratio in his nursery room?

[TheGruffaloMother]

And as above, cow's milk on cereal is completely fine at his age.

[EsmesBees]

Are they trying to get him in to a new nap routine? Otherwise I can't see why they wouldn't want to put him down in the afternoon.

They won't have enough staff to spoon feed the babies so will want them to start eating independently ASAP.

[MYA2016]

Oh okay in didn't know cows milk was fine, I've let them continue it anyway as he had been fine with it :-)
Yes they clean him up well after feeding and today they washed his clothes too. So I can't complain at that. I'm reassured to know it's normal and I'm glad you've all said as I won't look like quite so mental when I raise my concerns now! I'll leave that one out!

I may ask them to stop putting him down to sleep at 10am and start to try to drag it out till just after lunch (so 12) so that he's not going quite as long before bed.

Thanks ladies you've really helped

[user1483291956]

I'm deputy manager in a nursery, at our setting if parents are unhappy with any part of their child's care we would much rather know. We do this job because we want the best for children, if for any reason that's not happening it needs to be sorted out. Doesn't necessarily mean anyone will get in trouble, could just be a need for a chat or some further training. Also if you don't inform the management they may be completely unaware this is going wrong, potentially there could be lots of parents in the same situation as yourself. Your worries should be listened to and acted upon sensitively. With regards to the staff changing midmorning, have you considered a home-nursery book? You could leave messages in there of things staff need to know, also things that your child has been up to over the weekend perhaps (visited nanny, went to the beach etc etc), then it doesnt matter who you gave the message to in the morning, whoever is caring for your child can read it at any point. Staff can also use it to let you know things, he/she didn't have a sleep today because... At my setting we use these regularly and they've been really positive for building relationships. Hope some of this helps x

[Popskipiekin]

Oh yes, sorry for any confusion re cows milk, totally derailed the thread there - I meant that our son's nursery was giving it to him in his bottle, when he was under 1, which I did get annoyed at as it went directly against standard published advice. Anyway...
On the naps, I know we had to put DS down at the same times every day whether he looked tired or not - he would go straight to sleep - but if we waited for tired signs we could wait all day. Nursery and PIL were particularly bad at ignoring our requests and just letting him carry on "as he didn't seem tired". The suggestion of one later nap - which nursery will probably want your son to move to anyway from age of 1 - is good.

[Silverdream]

One of your points - messy eating. It's wonderful the nursery are letting him feed and explore his food. This is great. It's actually not great to keep your child clean whilst eating as they form sensory issues and can become fussy eaters. So nursery are bang on with that one.
The other two points I'd talk to the manager about if they don't listen to your concerns.

[ShoeJunkie]

DS2 mostly refuses to nap when at his cm (despite her best effort) but still naps at home. I think when there's more exciting stuff going on they power through as they don't want to miss out! It does mean he's wrecked by the time we get home though.

[MissJSays]

Hi, I am a nursery nurse and work in a baby room. Firstly this is a little strange, if a parent has any requests we always try to accommodate them (within reason)

You need to ring the nursery and ask to speak to the manager. Tell her what you said here regarding the metanium and sleep. Politely tell her you have spoken to the girls in the room but are concerned as they aren't following through.
The metanium isn't an issue so unsure of why they are struggling with it? We are a 12 place baby room and metanium is used on 3 of 12 babies who attend. It's common so no idea why they would 'forget'. Yours could be different, but we have parents sign an initial medication permission form which is evidence you have signed to say we are allowed to administer it. Then every time you collect they should have you sign another medication form which is evidence that you are aware it's been administered at XYZ time throughout the day. The reason for this is metanium is a medicated cream, sudocrem isn't so there wouldn't be a form for that. You should be able to sign to say LO isn't allowed sudocrem administered if it irritates them.

The sleep thing is annoying, it sounds like their routine is off. We have dinner at 11 and then babies go straight down to sleep, so around 11:30-11:45 ish. They all usually sleep till around 1:30, this is adequate sleep time for them and they all last fine till 6pm. You should ask the manager about the routine in the room. If you decide their routine doesn't suit your little one, they shouldn't have a problem with allowing him to sleep either longer or at a later time. We wouldn't anyway!

The food thing is totally normal, if clothes are getting stained then that is annoying and I would ask they they could put a 'proper' apron on your LO during meal times as their clothes are getting ruined. We have normal baby bibs and then bigger aprons that cover their arms and whole top half. It's important to remember that babies learn a lot from food and meal times in general. It's a sensory experience for them, believe it or not allowing them to explore food does teach them 'how to eat properly' later on.
Hope I haven't waffled on for too long!

[MissJSays]

Sorry! Didn't see your replies. I would much rather a baby in my care get adequate sleep, if they don't they are grouchy! We don't have any problems patting babies to sleep. In fact today I got stuck in the most uncomfortable position between two sleep mats trying to rub both children's backs at once! There should be no issues with this, however we do usually try not to cuddle babies to sleep as they et used to it and expect it. It's ok on the odd occasion if they aren't feeling themselves or if they are upset. If your LO needs a little extra help getting to sleep they should accommodate this.

What are the sleeping arrangements like there? We have a few different options, sleep mats, chairs (like baby bouncers but without the bounce) and the child's own pram. Do you think your LO would go off easier if you brought their own pram in for them to sleep in?
Sounds obvious but just checking, does your LO have a blanket from home, teddy or comforter they are fond of, or dummy if they have one? Just check they are being given these to go to sleep with.
Hope this helps

[Snap8TheCat]

I don't understand when people say they don't see replies?!