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(162 Posts)
Lolabelle Sat 17-Feb-07 21:50:19

I hate to be sexist and i appreciate thats how it would seem but we viewed a nursery today for my DD1 who is 2 and the staff contained two young men (max age 20 if that) and one would be responsible for my DD1. That means nappy changing the works and my husband and i both felt uneasy when we discussed it later. I really, really hate even saying it and they are probably lovely lads but too much goes on this day and sadly yes it usually is by men/lads etc and ...oh i don't know - am i being completely out of order thinking like this???

Katymac Sat 17-Feb-07 21:51:17


colditz Sat 17-Feb-07 21:51:22

Nappy changing - there will be another adult present.

But I won't be drawn any further on this subject, as it always turns into a bunfight

hunkermunker Sat 17-Feb-07 21:51:23

Yes, every man is a paedophile.

Better we don't ever let any of them anywhere near children ever again.

<<picks DH up by his ears and throws him out on the street>> After all, you can't be too careful, can you?

hana Sat 17-Feb-07 21:51:55

well of course you are
they'd have to be crb'ed to beworking with children

TenaLady Sat 17-Feb-07 21:52:28

I for one, would appreciate a bit of male influence but then I have a boy. That doesnt make me uneasy about having young girls around him though.

I think we are getting a little too over sensitive these days.

Plibble Sat 17-Feb-07 21:52:30

Honestly I think you are being unreasonable, but it is your child's care and you need to feel comfortable with the people providing it.

NotQuiteCockney Sat 17-Feb-07 21:52:54

Ah, see, I'm always trying to get more dads working at the co-op, as I like to have men about.

hercules1 Sat 17-Feb-07 21:54:40

It wouldnt bother me in the slightest in fact I would see it as a plus point. WHy must we assume that a man who works with kids must have some sort of sick motive?

natcurtis Sat 17-Feb-07 21:55:56

hi, am new to this, and chats etc,so apols if I sound a bit dull! I'm looking for advice on my DS1 who's been nappy free since last May (then 2yrs, 4 mnths). We moved in July and he's been pooing his pants on and off ever since. We've tried the ignore it method, the reward method, back to basics, no nappy, angry, and we're now at the end of our tethers (and briskly running out of pants). Can anyone suggest anything or reassure me that he's not the only one?!!!!

lulumama Sat 17-Feb-07 21:56:04

really a narrow view point

what about every male doctor, gynae, obstetrician, midwife, health visitor, teacher, scout leader, sports coach etc

are they all in their chosen profession as it gives them a chance to be near babies and children to fulfil some perverted notion?

those young men are someones sons, brothers, boyfriends...why judge them as paedophiles..

it is really sad that men cannot enter these professions without being judged so harshly

DH started in his job , aged 19, bringing him in close contact with babies and children, i would , and he would have been devastated to know someone thought like that of him.

what happens if you have a DS, and he wants to work in a nursery or as a teacher when he grows up??

sorry for the rant, but this makes me really upset

hunkermunker Sat 17-Feb-07 21:56:38

I think if you were uneasy for a specific reason about the people in the nursery, that's fine. Sometimes gut instinct means that you get a bit jangly about people.

But to decide that men who work with children must all be in it for the opportunities to touch their bits - that says more about the way you view the world than it does about reality, and I think that's sad.

lulumama Sat 17-Feb-07 21:56:52

<< might want to start a thread in nappies/potty training for some advice...>>

colditz Sat 17-Feb-07 21:58:16


You may get more luck if you start your own thread

But I will tell you here anyway. Ds1 pooed himself all the bloody time and the only thing that solved it was time. His bowel was slower to learn than his bladder, that's all. Put him back in a pullup, treat them like pants (ie wee wee him) and try when he is older. Leave it at least a month.

Raggydoll Sat 17-Feb-07 21:58:27

I felt like this when my dd started nursery - however I knew I was being over sensitive and yes out of order as you put it... dd has been there 6mths now and she really likes the guy, I do too.

Lolabelle Sat 17-Feb-07 21:58:49

Please don't think i am some sort of complete cow - i only viewed it with MNETTERS as i need to air my concern somewhere i am completely aware of how it can seem but yet only when it comes to my DD do i start becoming irrational almost. I've never left her anywhere not even a creche when we went to Center Parcs and i guess an approx 18 yr old lad surprised me and made me feel odd. please don't crucify me for this as its only inregards to DD. Before my DD i would of been appled by these thoughts i'm just airing them....

LaylaandSethsmum Sat 17-Feb-07 21:59:14

There should be absolutely no reason to suspect that these male workers are any more of a threat than the female ones

It has been shown that a positive male influence is a real bonus for children esp those who don't have a dad at home.

They are professionals and should be regarded as such.

colditz Sat 17-Feb-07 21:59:41


I would advise, with the way you feel about this nursery, that you don't use it. Purely because you will never be at ease, and you need to be at ease when it comes to your child's care.

lulumama Sat 17-Feb-07 21:59:50

maybe it would be good if you left her somewhere first , before nursery, sounds like you are more anxious about leaving her, than who you are leaving her with?

natcurtis Sat 17-Feb-07 22:00:50

OK - starting a new thread...sorry.

colditz Sat 17-Feb-07 22:01:19

No worries natcurtis

LaylaandSethsmum Sat 17-Feb-07 22:01:32

I guess unless you are with your child every second of every day of their lives then you have to take well informed risks, its part of life.

You are not leaving her with some random guy off the street at the end of the day.

hunkermunker Sat 17-Feb-07 22:01:47

Agree it sounds like there was something you didn't like about this nursery in particular. Do you have to leave her to go to work, or do you just think she needs to go to nursery? If the latter, she really doesn't, IMO.

hercules1 Sat 17-Feb-07 22:02:01

It sounds like you need to look at another nursery but what will you do if they employ a man after your dd has started?

Millarkie Sat 17-Feb-07 22:04:18

My ds totally adored the only young man who worked at his nursery. He was great with the little ones and it was great to have a male role model for them.

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