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Advice from nursery worker please

(9 Posts)
MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly Tue 29-Nov-16 20:19:13

My 2 year old has been bitten twice in 2 weeks at nursery - the one last week was nasty (broke the skin), the one I've just spotted is more like a bruise, but teeth marks clearly visible.

They know who the child is (he is a known biter) and I'm pretty sure I know, if I am right the child plays a lot with my DS and is a lovely child, but I think gets a bit territorial with toys. He bit my DS a few times when they were younger and I was told that they were working on it with him.

Anyway, my issue is that I want this addressed, but I have no idea how to approach it. I told his key worker about the nasty bite and when she saw it she was very upset and held a meeting with the other workers in that room. I have no doubt that they took it seriously. But now it's happened again. I'm sure these things can happen very quickly, but they clearly didn't notice as there was no mention, or accident form.

I will tell them about the new bite, but I guess my question is what can they really do? The ratios mean that they can't follow this child around all day. I don't want to go in and be an arse about it either. Any thoughts from anyone who has experience or worked in a nursery?

HenryIX Tue 29-Nov-16 20:37:02

On one hand, it is v hard go stop a toddler biting, they are fast! However, they should have been supervising closely enough to have seen, offered first aid, and told you about the injury.
The fact that they were unaware of the bites until you told them, is a serious concern.
You need to ask about how they are supervising the room and how they are not seeing these incidents.

PetalMettle Wed 30-Nov-16 06:00:26

I'd be surprised if your dc made no sound whilst being bitten/afterwards so it's a worry they're not spotting it.
Do they have an anti biting policy?

BeingATinselTwatItsABingThing Wed 30-Nov-16 06:05:18

Yeah, they may not be able to stop it but I would be worried about the lack of awareness that it happened. Maybe they do need to have someone with the boy for a while to try and stop it. It can't be nice for the other children.

BellaGoth Wed 30-Nov-16 06:07:25

So that's 2 bites in 2 weeks that weren't noticed? I wouldn't be impressed by that, tbh, especially as they know they have a biter.

Unfortunately my DS is struggling with his behaviour after a really rough year (2 family deaths, me very ill then a new baby sister) and can be aggressive towards other children. His key worker shadowed him for long enough to work out what was triggering the behaviour.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual Wed 30-Nov-16 06:11:41

I don't think anything can be done about the biting really, although after the latest occurrences I would be asking for a comprehensive review of what their approach is in terms of dealing with it.

It is however utterly, absolutely, unacceptable that two bites have been missed and I would be having very firm words about this. Not only have they not spotted the actual bites on their body but they clearly have not been adequately supervising them for long enough that a) the bite happened and b) the aftermath was missed. Unacceptable.

insancerre Wed 30-Nov-16 06:25:03

It might not be the same child, as biting is common for many children
Sometimes it's impossible to stop biting even with a 1-1 supervision
Sometimes the victim doesn't cry or it's not obvious they've been bitten
I would definitely speak to the room leader as they may have to up thwir supervision
The ratio is 1-4 at that age but if there is a nappy or someone has left the room, then one person may have all the children and they may miss incidents especially if children are already crying or needing cuddles etc
It's not acceptable to send children home with bite marks and for nobody to have noticed but it does happen
Ask the room leader what they have in place for biters
Hopefully they will say shadowing, distraction and modelling sharing etc
In my nursery we send home a bite letter to both sets of parents explaining why children bite and the steps we take to try to prevent it

If you don't get the right response from the room leader then I would suggest a letter of complaint to the manager
That normally gets results!

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly Thu 01-Dec-16 09:21:21

Thank you all for the helpful comments, I met with them this morning and you gave me lots of points to raise.

It turns out the boy involved has managed to bite and scratch in the past, even with 1:1 supervision, so they are looking at other measures (can't say much more on a public forum). I feel for the family, they are lovely.

Thanks again.

PetalMettle Fri 02-Dec-16 20:51:02

Thanks for the update. I hope your little one is ok going forward

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