Stressed over lack of settling in sessions

(6 Posts)
MYA2016 Sun 27-Nov-16 15:56:01

My 10mo DS will be starting nursery this week. 3 full days, 7.30am - 5pm. Also going to MIL 1 day a week too.
I'm already feeling incredibly guilty about this but I have to work.
He is my absolute world and we have had so much fun for the last 10 months.
We go out every day and have done baby groups etc since he was 4 weeks. He is very sociable.
I asked nursery about settling in sessions but all they allowed him to do was 2 x 1 hour sessions last week. I really wanted more sessions and for longer durations but they wouldn't allow it as they said it wasn't beneficial to him (I had offered to pay for these too).
His first session didn't go well. He waved me off but when I returned I peered through and he was in the arms of a staff member sobbing. She said he'd been like it for 50 mins.
The second session was better. He only cried for the last 10 mins.
I'm just so concerned now that this week is going to come as a massive shock. I've done 10 kit days at work so hes been used to being left but only for 2 days consecutively, and he's always been left with family.
I feel like he will hate me and not understand why mummy is suddenly leaving him with strangers.
Any words of encouragement would be massively appreciated.
Anyone else had a huge lack of settling in sessions and it's been okay?

PetalMettle Sun 27-Nov-16 16:05:46

My son settled in over the space of a week. The idea was you left them for longer each day. I felt I could have done with 2 weeks and the 2nd week I did half days and gradually picked him up later. He was also doing three days. Might be worth talking to work to see if they will let you do that

MYA2016 Sun 27-Nov-16 16:35:47

Thanks for the response Petal. That sounds ikea a good idea and one I'd like to do, even if just for the first day leave him.in half a day.
Unfortunately my work is in a mess and my boss has a very structured plan in place for this week to get me back up and running asap :-(
How did your little one settle in?

PetalMettle Sun 27-Nov-16 16:44:53

Ah. Maybe see if there's any bits you can pick up from home after LO is in bed.
After that second week he was pretty much ok. He does 8-6 and by the end of the week he was OK doing that.
He did still cry at drop off for a while and still does occasionally but I'm told he calms down very quickly. flowers it's hard isn't it?

newmumwithquestions Sun 27-Nov-16 16:52:34

I'm not sure I'll be much help as I dropped my start date for DD back a couple of months as I couldn't handle the crying - I was really lucky to have that option. But I do know that the crying is normal, and they do settle eventually.

Could your MIL do several half days next week as a one off favour to give him shorter days next week?

Good luck - it's tough. My older DD now loves nursery if it's any help - but we had to go through the crying there too.

crayfish Sun 27-Nov-16 17:19:26

My nursery did settling in over three days prior to him starting properly. So it was 1 hour on day one, 2 on day two and a whole morning on day three. I think that worked really well.

Saying that, he was unsettled at first anyway, I think they all are. It's a big upheaval and a huge change in their little lives. We didn't have a lot of tears but his sleep went totally down the pan and he was very grumpy and tearful on collection. Now it's been 5 months and he's well and truly in the swing of it. I still feel guilty (we do three full days like yours) but he loves it at nursery and they love him too.

I don't really think that settling in is the be all and end all to be honest. Either way it is a big period of adjustment and you have to just go with it. At our nursery most kids are ok after a couple of weeks. I'm sure yours will be too.

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