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How are nursery workers supposed to deal with crying babies?

(15 Posts)
mscongeniality Thu 27-Oct-16 20:10:03

I recently started my DS (1.5) on one full day a week at nursery because I think its good for him to interact with other children and it gives me some free time in the week. He settled in really well because he's not a clingy child at all, never cries when I leave him, in fact goes running in. He's generally a happy child and only cries if there's something wrong ie. hungry, sleepy, nappy, teething etc.

Today I went to pick him up, I was about half an hour early and I could hear baby(ies?) crying. I peeked through the door while I waited for someone to let me in, and I could see him sitting by the baby gate, crying, and trying to reach for his coat and bag which was on the other side of the gate. It was honestly heart breaking. I went in and as soon as he saw me he stood up, and I picked him up and he stopped crying. His bib was soaking wet as well.
I saw one nursery worker sitting on the other side of the room just reading aloud from a book, while 4-5 babies were doing various things around the room. She finally looked up at this point and called another worker over who came and started telling me how his day was.

I didn't say anything at the time because I'm not sure if this is normal and I'm just being precious? Honestly I don't think I am, I'm quite relaxed about most things but should I mention this to them next week? He was crying and no one came to comfort him and that's kind of upset me.

Thanks

CupofTeaTime Thu 27-Oct-16 20:12:39

I would definitely mention it, no excuse for them to be leaving him crying like that at his age. It would have made me really sad too OP. And angry with the nursery.

SpeakNoWords Thu 27-Oct-16 20:15:24

At the nursery that we used for DS1, the little ones would be held and comforted if they were upset. Or if that wasn't working they might try a change of room and distraction. They wouldn't have just left them crying and upset like that. I would be very unhappy with it and it might erode my trust enough to change nurseries.

Willowesd Thu 27-Oct-16 20:16:02

But how do you know they hadn't been comforting him two minutes before you arrived? I've picked up my son before and he's been crying and I'm sure they were doing their best. In a busy nursery it happens.

TheFlyingFauxPas Thu 27-Oct-16 20:19:58

Could he have been upset as it was around home time? Maybe he'd seen others already picked up by mummy and wondered where his was. Ds is pretty aged now (13!) but when he was first looking to do some hours nursery wouldn't have recommended one day only as to them that's too long between visits. Then for it to be all day in one go, though probably more convenient for you, would seem a bloody long day for him. I would have thought a pattern of maybe 3 alternate days in week of about 3 hours would help him settle more happily.

Littlefish Thu 27-Oct-16 20:23:46

I know it's not what you're asking about, but at the nursery where I work, we don't offer a single day, or a single half day. We feel that it simply doesn't give the children the opportunity to settle in and build relationships due to the long gap between sessions.

Littlefish Thu 27-Oct-16 20:24:40

Crossed with TheFlyingFauxPas

SpareRoomChaos Thu 27-Oct-16 20:26:14

I have worried about this as well. We have recently viewed nurseries and to be honest the ratio of 3 babies to 1 adult just doesn't seem enough to me. There was one nursery where a baby was just sat in a bouncer chair moaning the whole time we were there. He was nowhere near an adult and there was no interaction with him the whole time we were there. I wanted to pick him up and cuddle him! He seemed really sad.

I wouldn't be happy with what you saw and would definitely mention it to them. Hopefully they can reassure you that he was fine and just left there for a moment. Did they say anything in the handover like 'little Timmy hasn't been himself this afternoon, he's been a bit sad/whiny' or anything? I could understand if perhaps he was teething or under the weather he might cry quite readily.

I did visit a nursery which has cameras in the all the rooms you can log into view online! I didn't like it in other ways though.

Have you looked at childminders? That might give more of a personal feel to the care where it's possibly less likely he would be left to cry.

Quodlibet Thu 27-Oct-16 20:27:19

That would bother me enough to think seriously about whether the seeing was good enough. My dd is at a busy nursery 3 days/wk and I can honestly say I have never seen a child crying there who wasn't being cuddled and soothed by an adult.

mscongeniality Thu 27-Oct-16 20:39:42

I would have been a bit more understanding if it was a busy time, but there were only about 5 other kids in the room when I got there and it just didn't seem like anyone was taking any notice of what any of the kids were doing, not just my son. I know babies cry and its a long day for them so thats why I didn't say anything then, but I've been thinking about it and it has upset me a bit.
Plus I know its cliche to say but I do know my son and he doesn't just cry unless he's genuinely upset. He is the least clingy child and I can easily leave him with anyone so his settling in is not the issue. I am happy with everything it was just this one thing that has got me thinking.

I think I will mention it next week but will try and word it in an understanding way.

mscongeniality Thu 27-Oct-16 20:41:16

All it took was for me to pick him up and sooth him and he stopped crying thats why I can't understand why no one did that for him.

Rumtopf Thu 27-Oct-16 20:44:42

If the other assistant was close enough to be called then it's possible they just popped your son down while they nipped to the loo, or had a sip of water etc and he'd been comforted right up until that point.
Definitely talk to them about it and see what reassurance they offer you.

maybethedayafter Thu 27-Oct-16 20:49:10

I would speak to them. My daughter has had an emotional week at nursery (not quite sure what's going on) and her key person has spoken to me about it and said that yesterday she was upset so they say and has lots of cuddles in the morning. When she was younger she used to do a repetitive whiney noise and they spoke to me about that and said that as its not a cry and she doesn't need anything (nappy, food etc) they are ignoring it. It seemed harsh but they were right, it was just whining and I appreciated them speaking to me about it.

mscongeniality Thu 27-Oct-16 21:01:39

Thanks all I feel a bit better knowing that my instinct was right.

I'll try and have a chat with his key worker tomorrow to find out what happenned.

HSMMaCM Fri 28-Oct-16 09:38:08

Definitely ask them. He could have been left to cry, or he could have been held until the nursery worker needed to attend to another child and said, "don't worry, mummy will be here soon" as she popped him down by the gate to wait for you, or her return.

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