Returning to work advice 9 or 12 mth

[SparkleSausage]

I'm after a little advice or experiences from others on returning to work.... I'm due to go back three days a week when my little girl is 9 months old. One of these days will be a long day in an office a couple of hours away. I'm worried about feeding as I really want to continue to breastfeed. I also read recently that separation anxiety heightens around 9 months... Does anyone have experience of either of these things?
We also have a gentle, very baby-led parenting style and finding suitable childcare is worrying me. We need a nursery I think as we need more flexibility than a childminder due to both of our jobs...
I think I could just about afford to go back at 12 months instead of 9 but it would massively affect my job (my main work project occurs when my daughter will be 11 months) and it would mean my partner would have to work a lot more hours.
Sorry for the long ramble! Any thoughts or opinions?

[fabulous01]

I didn't breast feed but I went back at 9 months. I used Annual leave so I was in effect part time till 12 months. Helped with transition

[NickNacks]

Odd that you've chosen a nursery over a childminder for more flexibility. Complete opposite in my experience.

[peppatax]

If you give it a few years, you'll wonder why you worried about this. Prioritise work for a few moths, especially if you are planning DC2 at some point. All parents go through the same process with DC whether 9 mths, 5yo, 11 yo or 18yo....

[peppatax]

Nursery is more flexible for professional jobs, no childminder sickness to worry about

[SparkleSausage]

Nursery has more flexibility with early start times and as mentioned then no worries about sickness - most childminders in my area have their own children too and can cancel due to child sickness, seems to be a problem round here.
Thanks peppatax I think I was hoping someone would say that....

[museumum]

My ds went to nursery two days and granny one day at 6mo and was ebf and refused bottles. He used a cup at nursery and ate food blw style and bf morning and evening (and in the night too till 10mo). I was so stressed just before but it was honestly totally fine. Ds was happy as a happy thing and never really experienced separation anxiety.

[Kennington]

Nursery was good for me from around 11+months.
For me the child needs to be able to 'get around' so if their movement is good at 9 months I wouldn't worry.

[peppatax]

No problem OP. You've always got to think - what's best for DC long term as each phase passes. I'm a single mum so when DD was in nursery I wasn't making any money to
save but now DC is in school, we've a good quality of living.

[peppatax]

Sorry I meant to add because nursery was reliable it hasn't impacted my career

[SparkleSausage]

Thank you, that's really helpful to hear
Museumum - fingers crossed we have the same! X

[ninjapants]

Childminders are way more flexible than a nursery in my experience. I'm a shift worker in a 'professional' job and I wouldn't be able to work the hours and days I do without my childminder's flexibility. We've only had one day in three years when our childminder couldn't work due to illness.
If you work set days/hours mon-fri between 7am and 6pm a nursery will probably be the best option for you though.
As for breastfeeding, you will have to express. Whatever childcare you choose they will respect your wishes and give your baby the expressed milk you provide. You have rights to express at work too.
Don't worry about separation anxiety, your baby will be fine.
If I were you I'd probably go back at 9 months given the strain you say the extra three months would put on your finances. Don't worry about the busy time at work too much, that is for them to manage with or without you.

[LoisEighty]

Baby is likely to settle better before 9 months than at 12 months. Prioritise finding a nursery that really stresses key person relationships - check they offer a key person and a back up/buddy, and that they don't make babies move room and carer frequently (eg have little babies/crawlers/walkers rooms so babies are disrupted every 4 months) and that group sizes are small, under 10 rather than over.

[SparkleSausage]

Thank you, this is all so helpful & reassuring. I'm going to look at a mini-nursery next week with 12 kids that's run by a couple of childminders on one premises so this could be a good option potentially. Just need to toughen up and accept I will have to go back to work!!!

[AnnaBegins]

DS has just started nursery, he is 1 and super clingy, has been since 8 months, but he is settling in and I think it will help him be less clingy in the long run. The nursery have been great with blw and cloth nappies. Not so great with sticking to his routine when it differs to theirs. He does have bottles but friends' bf babies have just fed more when mum gets home and had water at nursery. By 9 months baby might be down to one or no daytime feeds anyway. Whatever you decide you will make it work for you, hope our experience is helpful.

[HSMMaCM]

It'll be fine. Go with your gut instinct about whether the staff seem to be understanding and supportive of feeding and helping with separation.

6 months is the best time for avoiding separation anxiety, but most parents now take longer. Nurseries and CMs are used to dealing with it.

[MrsA2]

My breastfed DD went back at a similar age. It's tough but j agree with PP that if you want a second then it really is worth prioritising work for a few years in between. Like others have said, she fed right before hand, then refused bottles but did sometimes have a tiny bit of milk and enjoyed her blw style meals and then fed again as soon as we got home plus overnight.

I'm not sure how old your baby is now, but if returning to work is a few months away then you'll be surprised by just how much they change between say 6 months and 9 months too. A small nursery sounds ideal for your situation.

If returning at 9.5 or 10 months is an open then that could be worth a consideration. Really once they are crawling they get so much more out of nursery as they can explore the room themselves. I agree that it's good to use some annual leave to break things up a big eg take an extra day off every three weeks for a couple of months. Do keep in mind that they'll probably get a bit unwell when they start though so keep some annual leave back!

I was heartbroken at the thought of returning to work but honestly it's ok, I promise!