please tell me this will get better

(16 Posts)
iemma321q Tue 09-Aug-16 08:28:17

My 10 month old did his first half day at a lovely nursery yesterday. This was after three settling sessions that went ok. Unfortunately he found yesterday difficult cried quite a bit and struggled to nap. He is due to do another half day today and I'm dreading it. Please can you share your tips to make this easier on us all. I have been being very positive with him about it as I truly feel it's the best place for him. I made the goodbye quick giving him a hug and kiss and saying I would be back soon.

Haggisfish Tue 09-Aug-16 08:29:57

It will. Can you phone an hour after you've left to check they have settled. Took my dd about two weeks to settle.

iemma321q Tue 09-Aug-16 08:36:07

Thanks for your reply. I did hone yesterday but he still hasn't settled which then made the rest of the afternoon even more worrying.

iemma321q Tue 09-Aug-16 08:36:27

Phone not home sorry!!

TipBoov Tue 09-Aug-16 08:39:15

It does get better. DS was red and puffy when I collected him from his first session, as he'd been crying, and fell straight asleep on the car because he hadn't napped all day sad

It took a couple of weeks, but he did start to love nursery, and would hold his arms out for the staff to pick him up when we got there.

HappyTalking Wed 10-Aug-16 18:20:30

I think time is the key. He is old enough to understand that you are leaving him but he hasn't quite learnt that you will definitely come back each day.

As he becomes more comfortable with the new people and begins to feel more secure it will get better and easier.

Chaby Wed 10-Aug-16 18:41:14

It will get better, and it won't take long! It's heartbreaking but it was only a few weeks before my DS was happily waving me off. He loves being around the other children. Having a good key-worker really helps so you can be confident there is an adult there specifically looking out for them.

Lovelongweekends Wed 10-Aug-16 18:44:26

It'll get better! Dd1 was 7 months when she started and was terrible for the first 3wks but the nursery were very good and encouraged me to persevere. After 3wks something clicked and she went in happily until the day she left!

Kim82 Wed 10-Aug-16 18:51:39

It does get better, honestly. My two year old started 3 days a week at the beginning of July as i went back to work. She was hysterical at drop off, had to be prised away from me and I could hear her screaming outside the building. She cried on and off through the day for the first week or two but started being settled for longer periods as the weeks went on. Since Friday last week she hasn't cried at all, even at drop off, so it has taken her around 6 weeks to settle.

The first month or so was horrendous and I wondered if I had made the right decision in going back to work. I felt that all she did was cry, she was red and blotchy when I picked her up, she cried as soon as she realised I was getting her ready for nursery in the morning, her sleep was affected and she was much more clingy than normal. I cried when I dropped her off as I felt so guilty (out of eyesight of her, I didn't want her thinking I was upset). She loves it now though and has even been asking to go today - she doesn't go on Wednesday and Thursday. Persevering is key, he will settle, it's just something new and once he's used to it he will love it. Good luck.

iemma321q Wed 10-Aug-16 23:43:46

He's done three afternoons now. Cries most of the time he's there, eats very little and won't take any milk. This is so so tough.

Chaby Thu 11-Aug-16 08:32:56

It's still really early days, it's a horrible time but look at the other children who have been there for longer and hopefully you will see some light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard not to doubt yourself / question your choices at this stage, but I am really happy that my son goes to nursery now as he is getting so much out of it and loves spending time with his friends.

HSMMaCM Thu 11-Aug-16 08:56:37

I would say an average of 10 full days before they really start to understand what's going on and then most of them love being in a place with loads of activities and lots of friends to play with.

iemma321q Thu 11-Aug-16 10:23:14

Thanks. I really needed to hear from others that this is normal and that he will adjust. Currently feel like a really cruel mum but I know in the long term it's the right kind of childcare for him. The nursery keep encouraging me to ring and check on him through the day but when I do and they tell me if he is struggling I just want to go and collect him. But I know that's not the answer. Is it bad if I don't ring and check?

Chaby Thu 11-Aug-16 21:18:19

I wouldn't ring to check unless you really feel it will help you not to worry - they will call you if he is really bad or they have concerns about how he is settling in

winchesterfan Thu 11-Aug-16 21:23:53

He will get used to it, I promise you!
I've worked in a nursery for almost 8 years, I haven't know a child not to have a few tears whilst settling in, but soon he will be smiling at you and waving bye as you go and having a wonderful time.

HSMMaCM Thu 11-Aug-16 21:24:15

If you still want to phone, ask them to tell you the good news and nothing else grin

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