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Is my child safe at nursery

(7 Posts)
user1468255705 Mon 11-Jul-16 18:12:51

Could I have some opinions, please?
My three year old has now complained three times about going to her (private, as I have to work) nursery because one boy in particular keeps hitting. This morning was the third time I made staff aware of what this boy is doing. I told my daughter that if someone is hurting her, she must tell me and I will put an end to it.

I just picked her up and spoke to the room leader. She said that they are aware of this boy's behaviour and that each time he hits another child he is dealt with and his parents are made aware and they punish him too. They are looking for an ADHD diagnosis. While I sympathise with the parents, am I wrong to feel anxious about sending my daughter to nursery where she could be hit and pushed? The room leader told me that my daughter stayed by her side today; making me think that her fear is causing her to lose her independence.

The room leader also told me that the three-year-olds in the room are quite boisterous and often play rough and can accidentally hurt each other - is this acceptable nursery behaviour? I'm worried that I can't keep my own child safe.

Would love to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation.

HSMMaCM Mon 11-Jul-16 18:49:17

Three year olds can be a bit boisterous. If there is a child with known behaviour difficulties, they will be keeping a very close eye on him.

If he comes to play near your DD there will almost certainly be an adult nearby that she can approach for support, if she doesn't want to move off to another activity.

Make sure you have a close working relationship with her key worker, so you can both support your DD to be safe and independent.

NeedACleverNN Mon 11-Jul-16 18:52:55

It's hard because no child can be watched 24/7.

I had to pull Dd out of one nursery as everyday for two weeks she came home with a new mark when a boy had hit her and until I mentioned the bruising they didn't even know she was being hit. I'm not just taking hands, I'm taking toys being hit across her back and everything. I didn't blame the staff because like I said, they can't watch every child 24/7 but it wasn't fair on Dd to be put in that situation all the time. I ended up pulling her out and into another nursery and we haven't looked back since

user1469376681 Sun 24-Jul-16 20:15:43

They told you another child is being assessed for ADHD??
They should NOT have done that whatsoever, that is a breach in confidentiality!
If that is the case he needs monitoring more than they are and should try harder to stop him hitting!
I'm sorry this has happened to your daughter and I would be angry it's a recurring thing but I would be absolutely furious if they were telling other parents anything about my child and I'm sure you would be too

doodlebug34 Tue 26-Jul-16 04:11:07

They've breached confidentiality for a start, discussing another child's possible diagnosis. That would concern me.

I took my daughter out of nursery as she was being hit by boys, who were not being stopped. There was also a serious lack of communication. It was poor overall. Follow your gut instinct, if you're not happy then don't send her to that one.

NotCitrus Tue 26-Jul-16 06:38:51

I'd talk to them about how to make her happier and what activities she might love. Ds complained "X hit me" daily for ages but he was referring to the same incident repeatedly, being 3 - the staff offered to prove that neither child named X was in on most of his days!

Though breach of confidentially is poor and suggests there is an actual problem - what plans do they have to keep her safe, especially in winter when they are more confined?

holzyb20 Wed 27-Jul-16 10:56:02

I would definitely keep an eye on it my friends little boy kept coming home saying so and so keeps hitting me but the staff never seemed to see it until one day the child stabbed my friends boy in the belly with scissors. The boy had extra learning needs and should have been monitored more closely but clearly wasn't as he was able to do this! Needless to say she pulled him straight out of nursery.

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