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Birthday party bags in the preschool group (nursery)

(10 Posts)
moniuhna Mon 23-May-16 14:54:27

I would like to know what do you think about birthday party bags in the preschool groups and how does it look like in other nurseries. Today when I was collecting my son from his preschool, the staff was handing birthday bags to some of the children while others did not get them. My child, who did not get a bag, was told: "They are only for some children" when he asked for his bag at the end of the day. He became very upset and cried all way home as he had been excited about the bags and did not understand why he did not get one while others did.

I am aware of the custom of handing small bags with treats at the parties in the UK but I do not see a reason why it should be practiced in the nursery, especially when only some children are included and others are not. This creates an unnecessary feeling of unfairness, disappointment and resentment among children, as well as awkwardness between parents. It is also very difficult for a parent to explain a 3-year-old child why other children from his group got special treats and he or she did not. I wrote a disappointed email to the nursery but would like to know what others think. Am I over-reacting?

GeoffreysGoat Mon 23-May-16 15:07:39

Unfair and ds1s preschool would refuse. They even discourage children from having packets of sweets on site after the session to avoid this kind of situation. You either treat the whole group or do it later.

MarshaMallow84 Mon 23-May-16 15:16:25

Oh no! That's really sad! I'm so sorry for your DS. For my DD's 3rd birthday I sent in about a million (ok slight exaggeration- I just wanted to make sure that there would be enough for everyone!) mini packets of Haribo for every child in the preschool. I figured that way even children with allergies would be able to join in. I don't think it's on to publically exclude small children like this.

minipie Mon 23-May-16 15:18:03

Absolutely not on. I'm amazed your nursery is agreeing to do this, ours wouldn't.

moniuhna Mon 23-May-16 15:27:05

Thank you for the replies. Exactly my thoughts and I emailed the nursery about it but still waiting for their reply. Personally I would never do such a thing (bring treats just for some children) but as my husband thought it was not such a biggie (I guess because he was not the one who had to deal with heartbroken DS) I wondered whether I am exaggerating...

insancerre Mon 23-May-16 17:38:04

Nursery manager here. There is no way I would have allowed that to happen
I day it allow parents to bring in sweets for birthday treats either
Its cake that everyone can share or nothing

In think its appalling that some children were left out
How would the staff feel if a parent handed out giftsof say, a bottle of wine, to some staff but left some out?

insancerre Mon 23-May-16 17:38:47

* don't even not day it

soundsystem Sat 04-Jun-16 09:03:52

Oh, that's just mean! Out nursery wouldn't do it, unless there was something for everyone. If parents want to include only some kids then they should do that outside of nursery time.

hollyisalovelyname Sat 04-Jun-16 09:25:07


CinderellaFant Sat 04-Jun-16 09:37:09

Did you get a reply back OP?

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