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Settling into nursery please help!

(4 Posts)
vonny81 Thu 28-Jan-16 23:42:16

I've started nursery settling in sessions this week for my 11 month old boy. Hrs never been left with anyone other than my oh for a hour or 2 at a time.
I left him for 2.5 hours Monday, when I left him he was fine but on collection he was screaming and sobbing, the carer was putting him into a bouncer seat baby Bjorn type thing which he hates. The next 2 days I've stayed with him 45 mins and then waited out of the room in case he was bad again. I went back into the room after 35 mins of crying. Not sobbing tho. One occasion he ate while I sat with them all. The other he wouldn't touch anything.
I'm so upset seeing him like this, its affected him really bad, he cries if I leave the room at home even tho is still with dad. I went to peg the washing out and could see me thru patio doors and still cried.
We had one night of virtually zero sleep due to crying/tossing/turning/bfeeding all night.

I feel so guilty as though I'm taking my let to be put down at the vet.

Does anyone else have any stories to share, how long will it take to accept nursery? It's killing me seeing him like this, I go back to work Wednesday he will be there 2 full days a week then will be 3! I feel like quitting work and being poor!

Borninthe60s Fri 29-Jan-16 00:14:56

If you imagine going into a room full of total strangers that's how he's feeling.

I can assure you as a former childminder and now nanny this is normal for a DC who has had input like he's been lucky enough to have with you. I see it a lot. It is distressing but it doesn't last long and your DC will thrive. He will learn that mummy is coming back, but until then he's insecure hence the tears.

Nursery should have allocated him a key worker who will be doing lots of 1-2-1 (where possible) and Before you know it DC will be putting his arms out to key worker.

In the meantime tell DC when he's going and why and that mummy will be back. Also work on daddy going to work, daddy coming back and get daddy to be totally hands on and you hands off for the next few days.

Babies can't speak but they understand a lot, reassure him, keep in contact with nursery once you're back at work to see how he is and good luck. By the time you've dropped him off and five mins has passed he will be ok.

vonny81 Fri 29-Jan-16 08:07:59

Thank you. It's just so much harder than I expected, and I expected it to be hard! He cried the majority of his first session. He has a key worker but she us unable to do completely 1-2-1 with him as there are other babies there. The first day was her day off which hasn't helped, the other staff said they can't continually just hold him as there are other kids and can't be seen to being more favourable with him! Considering it was his first ever time I thought they should!
Absolutely dreading today :s

HSMMaCM Fri 29-Jan-16 08:14:45

He's in the middle of the peak time for separation anxiety. As said above, he will soon bond with his key worker and then the other staff and will be fine. It might take him a month or so, as he's only going 2 days a week.

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