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Should I Send shy, clingy two year old to nursery?

(8 Posts)
mummytogorgeousness Tue 15-Dec-15 21:11:33

Hi, I live outside the UK where luckily the nursery cost is pretty cheap. My 20 month old twins are currently looked after by their granny and a student friend of a friend at home and are really happy. I have booked nursery places for them to start in March, just before they turn two as its the same cost as having the 'nanny' student and I thought they could do with the social side as well as the stimulation - here all kids go to nursery so the parks are completely empty during the day and they get very little contact with other toddlers.
The problem is one of my toddlers is quite an anxious, clingy boy who cries and clings even at the smallest sound another child makes. Im really worried about how traumatic it will be for him but there is the other train of thought that after the initial period it will bring him out of himself and get more used to other young children.

The nursery said I can sit with him a couple of afternoons a week for a couple of months before they start which is lovely of them so I also feel bad at dumping the nursery in it as we have now taken up two places for this year (again, how it works here).
I realise I am in a lucky position so dont bemoan that but was wondering about not sending them to nursery at all and staying with the student and granny. Or should we try it at least? A lot of people say how much they love nursery for their kids so I do realise I could be pleasantly surprised!

Littlefish Tue 15-Dec-15 21:13:54

If you are happy with the current arrangement, then I would leave things as they are until they are 3 or so. How old will they be when they start school?

mummytogorgeousness Tue 15-Dec-15 21:15:34

Children here start school at 3 so I wanted them to get used to an environment where there are large groups of children before school.

Firewall Tue 15-Dec-15 21:23:26

If they are happy, there's no rush to send them to nursery. Mine started the September before starting school and it suited him perfectly, so had a year of preschool. He was very secure and sociable by then (as we did a lot of toddler groups) and by then he was very happy to go to pre-school and learn (doing 5 mornings). He enjoyed having the security and freedom of home and having the additional attention too!

Littlefish Tue 15-Dec-15 21:27:44

Do you mean they start in a pre-school at 3? If so, I would wait until then to start.

triceratops1066 Tue 15-Dec-15 21:38:28

If they are very clingy probably very good for them to start nursery so they know its ok and you will come back for them. Also they will have their twin with them

mummytogorgeousness Tue 15-Dec-15 21:39:50

We live in Spain and all schools start at 3. Would that be like a preschool in the UK? Not sure as I had my twins here so I cant compare! Its not compulsary at 3 but everyone sends them then as its when all the places fill up in decent schools. Its near impossible to get into a nearby school after that.
My main concern is them not having any contact with other toddlers for the next one and a half years!Its really different to the UK. Due to nurseries being very cheap everyone sends their children to nursery so there are no toddler groups or baby activities around. I do know a UK mums group but they meet in the morning when I work!
Its a shame there isnt a middle ground but it really feels all or nothing for the twins. My only other option is sending them only 3 mornings a week for the first couple of months and seeing how they settle in.
Thanks ladies

PagesOfABook Wed 30-Dec-15 01:21:41

Really no need to be socialising until age 3 - or 3 and a half. My two were in nursery from 6 months and are now age 4 and 6 - and there was zero benefit in them being there before the age of 3 other than I mended childcare. From age 3 and a half they started making friends and really playing with each other.
At least your twins have each other to play with for the next while

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