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Helping DD to settle at nursery

6 replies

Penguin13 · 16/11/2015 09:36

Hi all, sorry this has probably been done to death. DD 11 mo has just started nursery. As she had never been looked after by anyone but DH or I (family don't live nearby) we opted for a gradual approach starting with a couple of hours, then some half days (three in a row to help with consistency) then she has her first full day today. I know it is very early days and I am sure she will settle in well in time, already by the third half day she was a lot happier and calmer. I guess I am just looking for reassurance. The last three drop off times DD has cried each time. I have tended to go for quite a brief goodbye as I thought she was more likely to get more upset with me hanging around but could I be leaving too suddenly? I aim to arrive before the main hustle and bustle of drop offs and generally give her a cuddle say brightly 'mummy loves you very much have a lovely day at nursery, mummy will see you later' or similar and hand her over to her key worker then turn and leave fairly quickly. Do you think this is too abrupt and actually likely to upset her more ? I know it depends a bit on the child and nursery but would be interested to hear your views.

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Penguin13 · 16/11/2015 20:39

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youlemming · 16/11/2015 21:32

It really is down to each child but I think your appraoch is good, I expect she settles down quite quickly once you are gone (sounds horrible but it's a good thing) and dragging it out might make things more upsetting for her and you.

Give it time and before you know it she'll be eager to run off and play, my DD did.

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Penguin13 · 17/11/2015 02:47

Thanks youlemming. She does seem to be settling down more quickly now and she was very happy yesterday apart from some unsettled moments (the nursery does half days so the parents coming to pick up can be a bit disruptive) so feeling a bit reassured

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NerrSnerr · 17/11/2015 14:45

My 14 month old started nursery 2 months ago. For about 3 weeks she cried when I left and then cried when I picked her up but was apparently fine in between. She is now much better, she sometimes has a little wobble when I drop her off but knows the workers now so they quickly get her laughing before I leave.

She has really grown in the last couple of months, she loves playing with the other children as is so much more confident. I'm sure your little girl will be the same.

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Acorncat · 17/11/2015 21:47

We had the same problem of crying at drop off, it only lasted about 2 weeks. I'd phone 30 mins later to make sure he'd settled and they said he did within minutes of me leaving. They showed me photos of during the day and he was absolutely fine. I just handed him over to the lady he liked best and did a big exaggerated smile and wave and a happy bye bye, see you later etc then left and didn't look back. I think hanging around and edging out the door just makes it harder for them. I did the same gradual start and I found when he started full days he was more upset despite having been fine for a month or so of half days. He's been there 2 months full days now and seems to really enjoy it.

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Penguin13 · 17/11/2015 23:09

Thanks Nerr and Acorn. She had a good day today again although she cried at drop off. She was fine when I came to pick her up but as soon as she saw me had that 'oh, I've just realised mummy wasn't here' moment and cried although she stopped as soon as she was safely in my arms. I do think it will be really good for DD to be in nursery and she loves other children so hopefully that will help her enjoy it.