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How long 'should' it take for a baby to settle in at nursery?

(9 Posts)
HalfStar Wed 04-Nov-15 10:19:51

Or does it just depend on the baby?

I'm not feeling great about my 12 month old who has been going to nursery for about 10 weeks now.

12 month old still not napping very well at all (30 mins most days) and crying on handover. The bad napping seems to have a very bad knock-on effect on her night time sleep and so she's going in knackered and the cycle continues. She is also quite 'high-needs' in general.

I'm happy with the nursery overall and older sibling has settled in perfectly and loves it.

Would love to hear people's experiences.

BackforGood Wed 04-Nov-15 22:11:14

It does depend on the child, but 10 weeks does sound like quite a long time. What do staff say about how she is during the rest of the day, once settled each morning?
Does she go every day?

HalfStar Thu 05-Nov-15 10:02:05

Thanks for the reply. She does go every day, for half-days. As it happened, yesterday she did a more decent nap. But still the tears on handover and again this morning!

She is not sick at the moment but since starting has picked up loads of bugs/colds so has been a bit low-level miserable for weeks I guess. The staff say she is fine after I leave and is distracted quite quickly. I believe she is generally in good form and well looked after, always seems happy playing when I come to collect her (though often cries when she sees me as she's just remembered I've been gone!). Once or twice when she's been cranky they've called in/visited her sibling to cheer her up.

I don't have any issues with the nursery, it's just that I have a niggle about it all iykwim. I just wonder if it's all a bit much for her (and I do realise how precious that sounds...)

Qwertybynature Thu 05-Nov-15 10:14:55

This probably isn't what you want to hear but a year in and my DS (2) is still incredibly clingy / teary at drop-off. I know he's fine there because when I go pick him up he's playing with toys, chatting away to his friends and talks about nursery at home. He's only there 2 days a week and I think this makes a difference. I think it's a case that he'd rather be at home but wouldn't we all!

If you trust them to give an honest answer, ask the staff how she is during the day (is she clingy, how often does she have to see her sibling), see what they suggest and talk to them about your niggling doubts. It's heartbreaking when there are tears at drop-off.

Redberrypie Thu 05-Nov-15 10:23:55

Agree with above, some dc just always cry at drop off unfortunately, my ds did for a year and it was heartbreaking, but I trusted them when they said the tears soon stopped and he was fine.

He also never had very longs naps there.

If you're happy with everything else, then I. Wouldn't be worrying about those two points.

HalfStar Thu 05-Nov-15 10:24:22

Thanks Qwerty. So it may be just one of those things. I know what you mean about DC preferring to be at home. The other babies who started after her seem more settled and content already (although who knows, they could be upset when I'm not there of course). DD is quite high maintenance in general. I vacillate between wanting to take her out and try again when she's 2 (which would mean giving up work for a year which I'm not sure we could afford) and just riding it out with the view that the socialisation will be good for her, particularly as she's not there for very long days. confused

Perhaps I'm overthinking it.

HalfStar Thu 05-Nov-15 10:26:12

Sorry x-post Redberry. Thanks, that's good to hear (not that your ds cried etc, but just that some dc are like this but it's OK in the long run).

Redberrypie Thu 05-Nov-15 10:30:27

My friend used to drop her dd off just before me and would leave her screaming the place down, she would always be smiling when I got there 10 mins later. I know its really hard but if they say he is fine the rest of the time, trust them.

Qwertybynature Thu 05-Nov-15 11:34:51

It's hard to decide isn't it? I had a wobble a couple of weeks ago when ds changed rooms at nursery and we back to full-on screaming. A month later and he's much better, not tear free but I can see through the window that he's stopped crying before I've left the car park.

Are you allowed to take comforters (if your dd has one)? It made a difference to my ds at nap time. The staff only let him have it when its nap time so he doesn't get used to having it all day.

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