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DS being bitten :-( what should nursery be doing?

(4 Posts)
FoodPorn Tue 07-Jul-15 17:14:27

DS (18 MO) has been bitten by another child at his nursery 3 times in the last two months (the last two within the space of a couple of weeks). It's the same child each time and, thought don't know, I'd guess she is biting other children too. The bites are bad enough to draw blood and leave teeth marks for days. The only similar experience I've heard of is a childminder who refused to look after the biting child anymore (I think that was after 3 incidents). It's a good nursery and I just wonder what I should be expecting them to do to protect my DS?

TiggyD Tue 07-Jul-15 21:34:56

3 times in 2 months isn't a regular biter, but assuming they're biting others as well:

ABC - Antecedents (Before), Behaviour, consequences.
A. They should keep a diary of the other child's behaviour to see if there's a pattern. Maybe they bite on Fridays, arguing over a particular toy, or just before home time. If they can figure out what is causing the biting (if anything in particular is) they can stop/minimise it.
B. Then they can look at stopping the behaviour itself which in this case might mean a member of staff shadowing the child to stop it when it tries to bite.
C. What happens afterwards. Not so easy in smaller children, but how does the child get treated afterwards? Are they at risk of encouraging the child by even giving negative attention? What sort of punishment will help the child see "Bite=bad thing happens"?

FoodPorn Thu 09-Jul-15 17:43:17

Thanks Tiggy. The nursery seem to be taking an approach similar to the one you describe. I've been told that the child is biting other children (not just our DS) and is having 1-to-1 supervision each time she attends. They're looking into possible causes. They seem to be covering the bases but it clearly isn't working as poor DS has been bitten again. He's been so upset by it. I just don't want it to happen again. sad

LetThereBeCupcakes Mon 13-Jul-15 11:27:22

Sorry this is happening, OP, but just wanted to add my voice as the parent of a child who has been the biter and the bitey.

Believe me, it's awful for the parent of the biter too, and they will almost certainly want it stopped as much as you do.

At my nursery, they worked very hard to identify my DS' triggers (turned out to be when he's over tired and when he's crowded - so getting all of the children to put their coats on was a trigger as they all rushed together).

I warn them if he's had a bad night's sleep, so they can be extra vigilant. They have put proceedures in place to avoid crowding him (so now, instead of sending all of the children to get their coats, a member of staff collects the coats and hands them out). They "shadow" him if he's tired to keep an eye.

As PP said, 3 times in 2 months really isn't that often, it sounds like nursery are doing all they can. The child will almost certainly grow out of it - it's a really common phase I'm afraid.

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