Reported to children's services by nursery(89 Posts)
Hi all. Just wanting some advice really. I'm absolutely disgusted to even have to write this as I don't even know how/why we are here.
My son has been going to a private day nursery for around 9 months now, he's 3 and is in preschool. After the initial settling in period he has since then been happy to go to nursery every day whilst myself and his dad go to work. He has lots of friends and has progressed alot since deciding to send him to nursery. A couple of days ago I got a phone call out of the blue after dropping my LB off at nursery an hour earlier to 'he has a bruise where a child wouldn't not get a bruise, do you know where it has come from?', with the most suggestive and insinuative tone I have ever heard. After explaining that I had got
Him dressed, given him his breakfast and wiped his face (as a mother generally does!) that morning, to my knowledge there was absolutely no marks on him (and no reason for there to be!!) the conversation that followed basically made me feel criminal for not knowing why a mark (that wasn't there) was there. I was told my comments would be written down and that was the end of the call. As far as I was aware (we have never encountered ANYTHING like this before) this was the end of it and (after crying for an hour at what was being suggested) I went off to work.
After an hour at work I recieved a call to say they had reported my comments to children's services (I was never told that anything would happen further to the first phone call) who had then come to the nursery and were there keen to speak to me. I of course obliged willingly and told them I would be there Asap along with his father. I then recieved a call back to say the social workers want to see us at our home.. Which obviously I agree to ( unsure what on earth is now going on).
Upon visitation at home we are asked all sits of ridiculous questions about our circumstances (again, nothing like this has ever happened before and we are in shock as to why on earth we are here at this stage) and who disciplines our child etc. we are told that our son had told one of the adults in exact words 'daddy did my cheeky the wall' no specific verb or action.. Which to me could mean Anything?! He's 3 and although he is quite coherant there aRe of course many things He doesn't understand and has a vivid imagination!!
Anyway, after an assessment (and most unwelcome intrusion) by the social workers, we were told that they saw no mark on our child once they saw him and they had no concerns or issues. That we would recieve a letter in the next few days to say no action has been taken and they were more than satisfied.
My issue is with how the nursery went about this. Don't get me wrong as i am more
Than aware that they have child protection procedures to follow however my child has been hysterical about going to nursery since this day, which has never happens before. We were told that although nothing was found to be of prevelence, the report would stay on our/his file. It has caused a huge tension as my partner is now scared to go near my son incase he tells the nursery something and they take it the wrong way. We are both on egg shells with him ensuring that he understand what we are saying incase he misinterprets it and tells the nursery and this issue occurs again.
I guess my question is, how do I complain In this situation? Surely they can not interfere in innocent peoples lives so easily and affect us this way with no real reason?? I would be interested in other peoples opinions As I am very unhappy and need to take this further.
Thanks in advance
They can interfere and report things where they think a child has been injured. So, while I completely understand you wanting to complain, I'm not sure you will get anywhere. I would want to have a meeting with them to discuss it though.
So there wasnt even a bruise? Sounds bonkers. What did the nursery worker say when you next saw them and pointed out there's no bruise?
I'm normally the first to defend child protection proceedures, etc but this sounds crazy. I'd be finding a new nursery.
There's nothing to 'take further'. The nursery absolutely did the right thing and LSCB have to investigate. It's not up to the nursery to decide whether there is anything going on or not, they have to reprt facts as they find them.
Viva, are you saying someone made it up? They might be mistaken sure, (Mongolian blue spot confusion etc) but making it up completely. Doubtful.
Didn't the nursery show you the bruise when you collected him?
I really hope that you don't have anything like this again, but if it were to happen, I would insist on being shown the bruise before leaving the nursery, and I would take my own photograph of it. Where did they say the bruise was?
If you do wish to complain, you should focus on what was said about the bruise- try to get something in writing from ss which confirms they didn't see any marks.
No, I wasn't thinking they'd made it up. More that they'd been incompetent and there had been a smudge or dirt which they'd mistaken for a bruise.
There can't be a bruise in the morning and then no bruise later on in the day.
There was no bruise when I took him at 10.30, by 11.30 apparently there was a bruise but by the time the social worker saw him at 1pm there was no bruise (or even the slightest mark... As confirmed by BOTH social worker!!) So what's to investigate? Surely the investigation stops there as their initial worries are quashed??....
Exactly my point vivalebeaver.., so at this stage in the investigation, what's left to investigate? There's no physical issue or indication of any issues?
Where was the bruise supposed to be?
My children are full of bruises and nobody has ever said anything. In your situation I would have to find a new nursery.
Mrs k castle, no, they couldn't show me the bruise as there was nothing there, which had been confirmed by the nursery. This was 2 days ago and I have had no follow up
Interaction on the nurseries end to discuss the action the took/why/the end result. Just left to bring my child in to a nursery where he now has an issue going to.. But never has before this incident. Which makes question how it was treated in nursery when I wasn't there/made aware of their investigations.
I would move my child. They sound like they don't have a clue about child protection. In fact this whole scenario just sounds so unlikely because it doesn't follow any safe guarding policies I've ever seen.
Underneath his cheek bone. May I just reiterate however that there was nothing there in the end up( hence why I feel criminalised in what seems like a mountain-molehill situation/ mistaken identity.) Im just in a very hard situation as my son was previously very happy there and hs settled in well with lots of friends and I don't want to upset and unsettle him as he is due to start primary school in September 2015 and want a smooth transition (which I fully expected prior to all of this)
Did they tell you where the bruise was? I was once asked to explain a bruise over DD3's eye. I looked at her, saw the blue 'bruise' and said "DD3, close your eyes." When she did, I pointed out the blue streak -it was a vein that was close to the skin surface, but looked like a bruise when her eye was open.
They were right to ask me, though. They would have been within their rights to report it to SS first, too.
If it was my child I wouldn't leave them at the same nursery! Trust has totally gone.
What your son said warranted investigation, or at least needed to be kept on record- 'Daddy did my cheeky the wall'- most logical interpretation is surely 'Daddy banged/pushed my cheek into the wall'. The nursery were right not to ignore this.
But the bruise thing does seem very strange.
It's a few years since I've worked in a nursery so things might have changed. If we found a bruise/mark in an inappropriate place we would report to manager who would then get us to mark on a diagram of a body where injury was. It would be dated and then we would monitor child over the next few weeks. Once we'd got enough evidence then we'd report to ss.
But even if there had actually been a bruise there I don't understand why it would be reported. As I said before my children are covered in bruises as am I. Most of my bruises are either caused by them kicking me in bed or me carrying bags. My children are always charging around and falling over so I presume that's how they get their bruises. Surely there has to be more than a single bruise for formal procedures to be implemented.
It's a hard one. I'd say nursery and social services did the right response to a potential issue, the kind of thing they didn't used to always do right and kids fell through the net. A bruise shouldn't have to still be visible for them to implement their procedures, a concern should be enough. It's easy to say that when it's not my child.
However, I'd be interested in how the nursery arrived at their decision to call SS. My two boys get bruises everywhere and actually a lot of them occur at nursery. Have you seen the nursery paperwork on who saw what and when? I would imagine a CDO would have to call their supervisor and the nursery manager and all three of them saw a bruise that went away in 2 hours?
I'd be finding a new nursery pronto. What a shame.
I appreciate the need to report concerns asap and child comes first, but if this is an isolated thing and there was no basis, absolutely ridiculous.
Yea I agree and I would fully expect them to report it. But 1. There was no action word.. He could have said daddy kissed my cheek by the wall.. Daddy wiped my cheek when I stood at the wall.. Anything?! But for them to jump to tis conclusion is preposterous. Again, theres no mark for me to examine, photograph, double check as NOTHING was there, not even the glimmer of a red cheek from running Round and getting warm. ( I thoroughly checked once he was home!)
I would speak to management of the nursery but wouldn't let DC go there again. Trust is now completely destroyed in both directions.
Sounds like inexperience in safeguarding policies and not having a true understanding of child protection.
I think in this case it would have been the combination of the bruise and what the boy said that prompted the call to ss.
donkir I currently manage a nursery and what you describe is the procedure we still follow.
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