Am I over-reacting?

(13 Posts)
MegMogandOwlToo Thu 18-Sep-14 22:21:08

There's a few things that just aren't "right" with the nursery DS (2.5) go to. He's been going there for approx 18 months, and its only recently that I've noticed anything being wrong.

He is happy there, so I dont have any concerns for his safety IYSWIM.


DH collected him earlier this week, and one of the staff told him that they'd had to "tell DS off for answering back" and that he's a naughty boy. It seems.. Odd that they would do that? DS said she shouted at him, but he said it in the car, not in front of her so my husband didnt ask her about it.

My mum collected him one evening last week, and he was stood in the room, on his own (everyone else was in the garden) with his pants down, as he'd had an accident. A trainee was getting a change of clothes I think out of his bag, but surely he shouldn't be stood half naked in the communal area? Also I don't know if a trainee should be supervised?

He has been potty trained for a few weeks, no accidents at all at home, but has 5+ accidents a day at nursery. When DH asked them to remind him to use the potty regularly, they said they have to rely on him telling them he needs to go, and its a busy environment so it's likely he'll have accidents.

The room he's in has new staff as they've recently had a re-shuffle and I feel as though they aren't as caring as the staff that used to be in the toddler room.

Also I checked online and they had an ofsted inspection a couple of months ago (that they haven't mentioned) and they got a 3 rating on everything - needs improvement. I am really disappointed that they haven't communicated this with parents, and haven't told us how they are going to improve.

Sorry, that was long. It's weighing heavily on my mind. But then I am a worrier so I don't know whether I'm overreacting by looking for another nursery?

OP’s posts: |
MegMogandOwlToo Fri 19-Sep-14 09:34:50


OP’s posts: |
mandy214 Fri 19-Sep-14 09:44:05

I wouldn't be concerned about him standing in a communal area waiting to be changed, someone was getting a change of clothes for him, and I think its natural to feel more warmth to carers you've known for a while rather than in the new room. I also think children do have more accidents at home because they get drawn into activities and forget to go until its too late, but I'd ask nevertheless if they could remind him a bit more often.

I would be concerned however that he was shouted at and they were referring to him as naughty - I'd just want to understand what he'd done, what context it was in, and what exactly was said to him. I'd want to speak to the person who dealt with it.

I'd ask about the Ofsted report - just generally in conversation and why they hadn't mentioned it. They may have a genuine explanation.

Sneezee Fri 19-Sep-14 09:45:26

I would have a chat with his key worker. They should not be relying on him using the potty himself at this early stage of toilet training! They should be reminding him every half hour or so and making sure he goes regularly.

With the changing clothes thing there should be 2 members of staff present when a child is being changed and it should be in a private area to protect his dignity.

Also you should of been made aware of their recent inspection and been given a copy of the report.

I would definitely have a chat with the key worker and maybe the manager.

nomdemere Fri 19-Sep-14 09:48:49

I don't like the sound of this nursery. I have seen the difference between an 'okay' nursery and an excellent nursery - with the excellent one, I was absolutely confident at all times that they were acting the way that I want. With hindsight, I would have moved my DC1 much earlier than I did. It is hard with your first, when you don't have experience to tell you. But if your gut feeling is that it isn't the right environment, then move them.

Mumto3dc Fri 19-Sep-14 09:51:54

Telling a 2 year old off for answering back and calling him naughtyhmm

Also it's part of their job to remind dc to go to the toilet.

Sounds terrible.

I'd be looking for a different setting.

donkir Fri 19-Sep-14 09:56:34

When I worked in a nursery there were certain words we were not allowed to use such as stupid or naughty. I would definitely re check all the nurserys policies for language that they say is and is not appropriate.
A child should not be standing in a communal area naked or on his own as that would definitely be against policy. What if it hadn't been your child and your husband had seen another child naked? Every child should be being monitored by a member of staff and if it is a one on one situation the policy in our nursery was the staff member had to be crb checked and qualified.
There might have been an issue with staff numbers and there was only one qualified. In this case they would have had to stay in the garden with the majority of the children.
I would definitely bring this up with the manager of the nursery.
We always said about new ofsted reports but unless it's in special measures I'm not sure this is a requirement. Check with ofsted.
I hope this helps.


floatyflo Fri 19-Sep-14 09:57:19

Go with your instinct. I bet it is right.

Won't go into dreadful stories I know about some childcare places local to me but do many are the same to be honest.

MilkThistle187 Fri 19-Sep-14 10:05:34

I think you gut instinct is telling you something here, listen to it. I would speak to his key worker but I would also be looking around for other options.

MegMogandOwlToo Fri 19-Sep-14 10:27:42

Thank you for your responses. I have a couple of viewings booked next week for different nurseries, so hopefully we'll find one we're happy with.

DH does most of the pick ups and drop offs as I have a longer commute and wouldn't get there in time, he's been trying to speak to the manager but she's never there, I think she works 10-4 which isn't very useful when parents need to speak to her!

I wasnt sure if the issues I had were petty, as I know they are busy and can't give their full attention to DS all the time, but I'm just... sad, I suppose. I really liked this nursery at first. It's small, a bit shabby, but everyone seemed so happy and caring.

Fingers crossed that one of the new nurseries is a good fit for DS.

OP’s posts: |
JennyBlueWren Thu 25-Sep-14 14:52:43

I work in a nursery with 3 and 4 year olds and even at this age we know some of them will frequently forget to go to the toilet if they are busy playing (especially outside) so we remind those who need it! I have however had the child wandering around the nursery with their trousers down situation -both because they hadn't fully pulled them up, because they were in the toilet, had an accident and needed help or because I was off to get a change of clothes and they'd decided to follow me. Not great for their privacy or dignity!

AlexD72 Mon 27-Oct-14 16:33:33

All nurseries that are Ofsted inspected have to tell ALL parents that they have been inspected and then as soon as the report is published online ALL parents MUST be given a copy by the nursery. It looks like they were hiding the report from parents as it's not good at all.
Potty training can take time but I would like to know why your child is dry at home and having a lot of accidents at nursery. Staff should be reminding all children to use the toilet.
I am a nursery nurse with 25 years experience. And I would never leave a child standing in an open area waiting to be changed.
I would ask to see the report at nursery then highlight any areas you are worried about. Ask the manager what their action plan will be to improve and what time scale they will be working too.
No child should be called naughty. And all nursery nurses should be aware that children answer back! It's not naughty it's normal. I would ask why he answered back? What was said to him to make him answer back.

sjghd Sun 16-Nov-14 21:55:05

He shouldn't have been told that he was 'naughty' this is not a word any nursery practitioner should be using. (I am a nursery nurse) that staff member needs to go on more training on how to deal with children's behaviour.
Instead of standing naked in a communal room maybe they should have took him to the bathroom or sit him on the toilet or potty while getting him some clothes to change into?
Children tend to have more accidents in nursery. It is alot easier for them to train at home as they have one to one attention and will be more aware, whereas they are so much more busier at nursery and become absorbed in activities.

if you have any worries at all they I suggest you talk to the manager or supervisor so they can deal with you problems. suggest to them that you want your son to be taken to the potty every 15 mins (they should be doing this anyway as he is newly potty trained and still young!)

Regarding the Ofsted inspection, parents should have been informed on the day of the inspection that this was happening. and then you should be told the results as soon as the nursery are allowed to tell you. If you feel these guidelines were not followed then maybe contact Ofsted?

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