This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Can I pull 2.4yo DS out of nursery because he doesn't want to go?(9 Posts)
DS has done 2 mornings at nursery for the past 2 months. He cries every time I take him, he wakes up several times a night having nightmares and also saying he doesn't want to go, every morning he says he doesn't want to go. He's become anxious, withdrawn and suddenly dropped his naps (so the 10 hours nursery I was paying for has been lost in naps anyway!) this morning I couldn't face it again after saying "what are you going to do at nursery?" And he said "cry". Am I being too emotional about this or are my instincts right? I'm a SAHM and have recently had DS2 so the nursery was so I could have some time for DS2 doing baby things and to allow DS1 to socialise. I'm happy to have him back at home with me full time but I'm worried that this will set a precedent about nursery and I won't be able to try again later on (when he's 3 at a different nursery).
Fwiw I don't think it's anything at nursery that's upsetting him, I think he's just not ready to be left...
I said if think abut it over the weekend.
You can take him out whenever you want, but you might have to pay for the notice period. If it's just for socialisation, simply taking him to toddler groups, or the park should be fine.
I took DS out of nursery as he was unhappy. Bit of a shit nursery, tbh, but he's also a sensitive soul & he wasn't ready. When I put him into pre-school 6 months later, it took him a while to settle in but he was fine. He's 6 now and loves school, though still sometimes finds it hard to say goodbye in the morning. But no, taking my DS out was absolutely the right thing & didn't set a precedent for later.
Take him out he's too young too be unhappy when he doesn't need to be.
I wouldn't make a child do anything that was having such a negative impact on their mental health. Taking him out now will have no impact on something that will happen months in the future.
Does it matter if this is instincts or emotion? He is unhappy, this will in turn make you unhappy. Neither of you needs to be. You said you are happy with having him at home then keep him with you.
He has plenty of time to socialise. And of course you can try again when he is older.
The above is meant to sound kind and supportive. Please give yourselves a break and give up the nursery for now.
Thanks all. I am going to trust my guy with this one and say that nursery is not right at the moment and the guilt of sending him so I can enjoy a few easy coffee mornings with other mums-of-babies (when he clearly hates it) is too much. Nursery are trying to get me to do more settling in, getting me to stay with him more but I know it's not going to work. Yes unfortunately we have to pay the month notice period but that's unavoidable.
Feel better already for making the decision.
Yes, I'd say try again when he's a bit older. He's so little yet.
What a lovely mum you sound Annie I know so many mums that just carry on sending in spite of their child being unhappy. They all try and justify it by saying their do lots of exciting things share etc well they can do all this at a toddler group without being left.