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advice needed about nursery please

(5 Posts)
slcd2013 Tue 03-Dec-13 13:33:19

My son is 3 he started his nursery in Feb this year, he took till late April to really settle, by this i mean stop crying when i left him every day. The nursery where he goes is attached to a school, and they start them off early on school life teaching them the phonics sounds etc getting them ready for school. He was quickly moved up (within a few weeks of starting) to phase 2 phonics as his key worker felt he was ready and he was doing really well. However after the summer holidays he changed from the afternoon sessions to the morning sessions and this changed his key worker, since changing sessions, he has been really unsettled, doesnt want to go to nursery, and now they are telling me that he wont participate in lesson time (phonics) so now they want to move him back down to phase 1 although they can see that he can do the work and is close to phase 3, he wont do it every lesson time, but when i go in and sit with him he will do everything they want, or when his old key worker sits with him he does everything but he wont do it in this new group.

At home he does everything and is really doing well, its really frustrating, they are telling me that its coz he is most happy at home and is enjoying the one to one with me. But doesnt every child like that?

What im worried about is i know he is only young dont get me wrong, i know he is only 3, but moving him down groups is fine, but when they know he can do the work, but its just that for some reason in the last couple of months something has change in nursery which has made him stop sharing this with them, and if this continues and he gets used to not doing things in school, in 9 months he will start real school and then whats going to happen, he is clearly a fairly bright child, and he is going to end up in all the wrong groups for all the wrong reasons, all because something has gone wrong and they cant get the information out of my son for what ever reason.

Im worried that he is unhappy for what ever reason, he said he is frightened of all the children at the nursery, but he was fine before the summer holidays, but obviously lots of new children started this term.

Has anyone ever come across this before with their children doing things at home but not in nursery or school? And if so how did you over come this? Any advice would be greatly received.

Many thanks

insancerre Wed 04-Dec-13 08:04:25

This is what really annoys me about the phrase 'preparation for school'
Preparing children for school means they are ready emotionally and socially to be in a position to make the best progress.
Your son has had a big transition- he is now in different sessions with a different keyperson. In effect, it is a different nursery.
he is struggling to cope with the change. The nursery should be supporting him with coping with the transistion, not concentrating on phonics.
They really shouldn't be doing phase 3 with him anyway. They should be concentrating on phase 1 and maybe introducing phase 2 when he is more ready
Being taught phase 3 now will not have any impact on his ability to read and write when he is at school. Not being able to cope emotionally and socially with staff changes probably will have a negative impact.

LIZS Wed 04-Dec-13 08:11:07

Focus on settling him emotionally, the phonics situation is a red herring . If he is ready now , he'll pick it up even quicker at school.

mewmeow Thu 05-Dec-13 07:52:31

Yes, I think the pressure could be getting to him. It sounds like they could be a bit too academically focused, he is only three sad

If I were you I'd let them move him down, but also be insistent that his emotional well being comes way before doing his phonics. Ie no pressuring him to do them to the point where he regresses to not wanting to go to nursery at all! I think the majority of learning at this stage is actually done through socialising and play, so the more comfortable and confident he is to do that, the more he will learn. If he is devestatingly unhappy I would start thinking about ways to improve that, eg less hours, new key worker, even different nursery maybe??

kimmills222 Sun 12-Jan-14 18:25:49

I think he is lacking social confidence. Socialising with other children is a key skill that has to be learnt gradually, and some respond to it very easily while some face problem in networking. I think you need to boost his social confidence as well make a tour to nursery and check how he responds to the environment.

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