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How long/how many sessions to settle 1yo into nursery?

(12 Posts)
My2012baby Mon 10-Jun-13 10:06:45

Hello, I'm soon due back to work 4 days a week and DS going to go nursery. I have to pick my exact start date at work and want to make sure I leave enough time to do proper nursery settling.
He's quite clingy and used to be mainly with me only even though I can see in the last month or 2 he's getting less clingy.
How many days/ sessions of settling do you think it takes? For how many hours? We need to build it up to 4 full days a week.
The nursery we want seems to only have spaces for after my date to be back at woek in which case I might have to start work before settling him and go for a nanny for a couple of weeks. Then I could maybe take some time off work/half days and do the settling. So especially in this scenario I was wondering for how many hours and how many days do you think it will take to do settling -or is common practice to do- before we can start the 4 full days?

Thanks so much for your replies!

ReetPetit Mon 10-Jun-13 21:06:31

1 yr is a difficult age. Ask the nursery what they normally do - most want a few short settling sessions before starting full days. I would advise against having someone care for him temporarily and then into nursery - too unsettling for this age.
Is there anyway you can postpone your start date at work?

My2012baby Mon 10-Jun-13 21:23:10

Thanks for your reply. I can't postpone for more than 1-2 weeks using my leave and nursery sounds like it will be an extra month. Do you think it would be better to go for second choice nursery? They have a place at the right time but I don't really like it, something makes me uncomfortable about that nursery even tho I can't word what it is.
When you say few short settling sessions are you talking a few days on the same week,or 2 weeks or more?

ReetPetit Mon 10-Jun-13 21:27:17

I wouldnt go for a 2nd rate nursery - better to use your first choice and try and find a way around it. If you have to use someone for a couple of weeks its not rhe end of the world but i would suggest you settle her yourself.

Most nurseries do short sessions over 1 week ime hut best thing is to ask them.

My2012baby Mon 10-Jun-13 22:14:47

Oh I would definitely do the settling myself. I would go back to work and use a nanny for the 2-3 weeks then take time off and do settling at the nursery. That's exactly why I was trying to figure out how long settling would be, if its over a week I think I could manage with work and time off. I know it's not the best to also have the nanny in the mix of all new things, but I thought hopefully I could use that help in the future for emergencies and sick days etc and then it wouldn't be new to Ds. Hopefully the nursery confirms a place soon within reasonable time of my return to work!
Thank you for your reply ReetPetit

MissTapestry Tue 11-Jun-13 10:18:39

I'm in the process of settling my DD into nursery. She'll only be going one afternoon a week, but from speaking to the nursery staff she'd settle much better if she was going more often iyswim. We've had one 1hr session and have another booked in for Friday when I'll leave her. The plan is to fit in another early next week and for her to start properly next Thurs. we'll probably carry on with one settling in session a week for a while as we'll as her afternoon because just going once a week won't be enough to familiarise her. So actual setting period will be fairly short. Hth! smile

My2012baby Tue 11-Jun-13 10:56:26

Thanks Misstapestry! I'm starting to get the idea that a week settling in is about right and common practice, I was thinking for some reason it would take more

Willowbear Tue 11-Jun-13 17:42:51

The nursery I work at does the settling in over a two week period.

It goes roughly
Mon- parent and child spending an hour in the room, chatting to key worker and getting to know the staff.

Tues- parent and child spend an hour in room, chatting, playing etc

Wed- parent and child spend an hour and half in the room. Try to get the parent tp leave the room for twenty minutes or so.

Thurs-parent and child arrive, parent to stay in room for twentyish mins or whenever they are comfortable to leave. Child to stay without parent for roughly an hour.

Fri- parent leave when ready, child possibly stay for lunch.

Second week extend childs stay by about an hour a day so that by the end they have stayed for a full day without being thrown in at the deep end.

My2012baby Tue 11-Jun-13 20:12:54

Willowbear that's really helpful. I will have to check with the nursery I guess!!

My2012baby Tue 11-Jun-13 21:00:28

Also wanted to ask, is it normally just one parent doing the settling or can it be both, like alternating days? Is this good or not?

BarnyardDance Tue 11-Jun-13 21:11:41

Just to add my own experience to this: my ds started nursery when he was 12 months old. We did the nursery's suggested 3 settling sessions - but ds was so unsettled during these that we had to have three extra sessions, and then I took time off work in my first week back to allow him shorter days. He wasn't properly settled at nursery for another couple of weeks after that.

I guess all children are different, but Willowbear's suggestion sounds very sensible to me and what I would try to do next time.

Willowbear Tue 11-Jun-13 23:36:42

Its usually fine for both parents to do the settling so long as the child is used to spending time with both parents and happy to be comforted by them if they become distressed.

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