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I feel so guilty......

(10 Posts)
Pfer Thu 25-May-06 08:31:49

DS2 started 1 morning a week at a local day nursery last week and cried to whole time (guilt), I've just dropped him off again and he started screaming before I'd even moved towards the door!

Sigh...the guilty knotted feeling in the stomach.... .

I know he'll get used to it and hopefully even enjoy it and it's only 4 hours a week.....but hell it's upsetting isn't it?

DS1 keeps saying 'DS2 misses us a lot, he keeps crying, he doesn't like baby school does he mummy' which doesn't help much.

Please remind me it gets easier for them

threebob Thu 25-May-06 08:34:54

A week is a long time between sessions. How old is he?

FioFio Thu 25-May-06 08:35:05

Message deleted

Pfer Thu 25-May-06 08:38:06

threebob, yes I know, but it's all I can afford at the moment money being as short as it is. He's 20months and he's going through separation anxiety atm so that doesn't help much does it.

Yes Fio, I remember DS1 going running into playschool that first time with no backward glance .

Mum's can't win can they? Hurts if they miss you and hurts if they don't.

threebob Thu 25-May-06 08:48:39

Are you sending him because you want to (ie have some time off) or because you think it will be good for him?

fuzzywuzzy Thu 25-May-06 08:57:36

Have you asked the nursery teachers how long he cries for??
Dd1 started nursery at 2.11 she started wonderfully, wouldn't even bother to say goodbye once we reached nursery. Then suddenly she started crying and saying she didn't want to go. Her nursery teacher said the tears only lasted up till I left and then she was fine. I have to say the teachers are all lovely, and I once watched as dd1 went in miserably, only to be enfolded into the arms of one of the girls who cuddled her whilst the teacher read to them...It put my mind at rest, and now dd1 wakes me at 4am demanding to be taken to nursery..... It only lasted till she made friends with the others and she now speaks english pretty well too, which she didn't to begin with.

Pfer Thu 25-May-06 09:40:51

threebob, I send him because a) I think it'll be good for him, b) I need a break and c) I work from home and need a few hours a week to get caught up and earn a bit of money!

They've just phoned, he's calmed down and has helped them tidy some toys away ready for snack time, but is still very clingy. I know he'll be fine after a few more times, it's just not nice walking way from them crying is it?

jenkel Thu 25-May-06 09:41:20

I had this with dd1, but it was only when I dropped her off, she really made me feel bad and to be honest it lasted about 1 year. The nursery staff assured me that she was fine after I had gone, and in fact I knew that for myself, I used to drop her off and then creep back and listen at the door and it was silent. And she was happy when i picked her up. She is now 3 1/2 and 90% of the time she is OK, but I think she is going to be a little rascal getting to school, apparently I was so its all coming back to haunt me.

Pfer Thu 25-May-06 09:44:23

Jenkel - serves you right then!
Last week he cried from 8am till 11am when I picked him up (an hour early). He stopped as soon as I got there but just hung onto me, I looked through the door before I rang the bell and he was having a lovely cuddle with one of the ladies so I know he's being looked after. When your child starts there they get you to fill in various forms about them and what they like - eg having their cheeked stroked when falling asleep etc. so they are takking care of him I know.

stinkieminkie Tue 30-May-06 12:42:42

Hello all

I hate to say it but I am glad I am not alone - I am 7 months pregnant with second child and first is going into nursery three days a week (he is 2yrs 9mnths) - 9 til 2 and as soon as I mention the word he starts crying big fat tears. It is heartbreaking and I find myself getting very anxious - I know I will need the time after the baby is born and really do believe that he will benefit from interacting with children his own age rather that being dragged around by a v preganant tired mother.
He mentioned today that mummy was going off to have a baby - so I wonder whether he really aware of what is going to happen - anyone any experience of this?>

If anyone has any wise words of wisdom it would really help


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