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How long for 10mo to settle at nursery?

(5 Posts)
quesadilla Wed 23-Jan-13 16:03:56

This sounds perfectly normal to me. My dd started with a childminder at nearly 9 months doing two days a week and was OK until she started going four days a week after about a month. Then she really struggled and was tired and tearful for about a further three weeks and we seriously considered moving her and she then just seemed to slot in and has been fine ever since.

Don't ignore your instincts and listen to what she's trying to tell you, for sure, but maybe hang on in there a bit longer. I think initially its a very long day and very strange for them. I think it probably does take at least a month for things to bed in. I'd give it another 2-3 weeks before you think about moving her.

Also have you talked to the staff there? I talked to the woman who ran the place about my concerns and she was quite reassuring and started sending me text messages and little updates through the day which helped me adjust to things.

I feel for you... its one of the hardest periods. But it will get better.

halfaglassofouzodestructo Mon 21-Jan-13 14:26:49

Thanks, Teladi. That is reassuring and glad I'm not the only one who has found this hard! You're right that I'm not feeling brilliant about the nursery, and I think I'm going to have to push them to give me a bit more detail about her day. They cover the main stuff - feeding, sleeping and activities - when I pick her up, but a bit more about how she's doing emotionally and perhaps some input from them on what they're doing to help her settle would put my mind at ease.

Teladi Mon 21-Jan-13 13:41:38

BTW yes it is SO hard. I was so sad each day and was v worried about DD. Even started trying to add up to see what standard of living we could have without me working!

Teladi Mon 21-Jan-13 13:39:33

In my experience (I have 1 DD who has been attending nursery for 8 months) it's totally normal and it sounds to me like your DD is doing GREAT considering she has only be going there a couple of weeks. I am 110% sure I would have had the exact same experience with my DD if I had put her to a childminder. It is their age I think, DD started when she was 8mo and I think from 6-12mo what you describe is quite common.

It does help that I am very happy with our nursery and the staff and I know I made the right choice... but it sounds like there might be other things at the nursery rather than your DD's reaction that are making you nervous? Trust your instincts there and ask questions! The nursery staff pretty much gave us a blow by blow account of DD's days there in the early stages which helped set our minds at rest.

halfaglassofouzodestructo Mon 21-Jan-13 13:32:36

My 10mo old DD has just started at nursery with settling in period two weeks ago, when she built up over 3 days to a half day. Then last week she did two 'short' full days - around 7.5/8 hours. This week I return to work and she'll be doing two long days, 7.30 - 6pm, every Monday and Tuesday. Really, I'm just wondering how long she is likely to take to settle and be relatively happy when left there.

Until this morning, she's been fine when I've left which I've been doing quickly and with little fuss. This morning she burst into tears as soon as I handed her over. I suppose she's realised now that I'm going to leave her. When I've picked her up, she cries as soon as she sees me, but it feels like it's with relief that I'm there and is only a short cry, and then is pretty clingy for the rest of the evening.

I realise it's early days, but I'm finding it hard, and am not feeling 100% about the nursery. I'm not sure how much this is related to DD's reaction - this is the first time for all of us! I've even been wondering whether we should have gone down the childminder route instead and thinking about researching again locally. So, I suppose I'm asking when would you reconsider your childcare choice if the clinginess or unhappiness on leaving continues? Or is it all just normal?

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