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Baby starting nursery heartbreaking

(7 Posts)
CurlyBoo Wed 14-Nov-12 19:12:11

My 12 month old starts nursery 3 days a week on Monday as I have to go back to work. She has had 2 settling in sessions this week, both only 2 hours and both times she apparently cried the entire time. I was expecting it to be hard and for her to cry on drop off and pick up but thought she might calm in between. I feel truly horrendous and am dreading Monday more than anything - right now id rather sever a limb! How on earth they are going to get her to eat or sleep when she's there for a full day I don't know and I'm so worried that she's never going to settle. Going back to work is hard enough as it is without this. Has anyone else's baby done this to begin with? Will she settle eventually? How long do I give it until I give up, quit work and take her out of nursery? She is usually such a sociable confident little girl so I assumed she'd be ok with this. I feel like the worst mother right now.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 14-Nov-12 19:15:15

Not had this happen to me but seen it several times. They pretty much all, without fail, settle in eventually. It might just be seperation anxiety, which they all overcome at some point.

If it's really bothering you just put it off for say, six months, until she's a bit older. Has she stayed with family or friends before? Is this totally new to her or has she been babysat before and been away from you for an hour or two?

CurlyBoo Wed 14-Nov-12 19:17:10

My mum has had her over night a couple of times but I don't think I left her with other people enough - lesson learnt the hard way.

FernandoIsFaster Wed 14-Nov-12 19:27:22

Could you not postpone for a fortnight and do more settling in sessions. When my (pfb) dd started nursery 3 days a week in the March I started her settling in sessions in the January.

She has since moved nurseries and to settle her into new nursery and she did a week of taster sessions, an hour with me there on the first day, am hour on her own the second day then by the last day that week she did half a day on her own. She was fine then when she had to do a full day.

2 x 2 hour sessions just seems a very short period to expect a
12 month old to settle, sorry. In fact the nursery I moved to encouraged lots of settling in for everyone's benefit so I'm surprised your nursery hasn't advised you to do the same.

FernandoIsFaster Wed 14-Nov-12 19:28:29

Sorry if that was abrupt and typo filled, trying to type during bath/bed etc!

SittingBull Wed 14-Nov-12 19:30:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizardqueenie Thu 15-Nov-12 11:46:46

Hi curly, I'd def look at doing more settling sessions, just short ones, 2 hours is good. The staff will make every effort to help your LO to settle, eat & sleep at nursery. The important thing that's she has to learn is that even when you drop her off you will be back to pick her up. So short sessions help with that I think.

My dd, just turned 2, is settling at her nursery at the moment as I go back to work in 2 weeks. Today she cried at drop off but then stopped as soon as I put her down & ran off when she saw the toys, didn't even look back for me! It's still all new for us too. Please don't give yourself a hard time, easy for me to say but your Dd will get to do lots of lovely things at nursery, have fun, play with different toys & build relationships with new people. Big un-mn hugs smile

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