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How long is appropriate to stay at nursery when collecting your DC?

(31 Posts)
getoffthecoffeetable Wed 31-Oct-12 19:43:10

I tend to stay between 5-10 mins getting DS's coat on etc depending on what he's doing. Can I ask, do you pick up your DC and leave immediately? DS is one and a half. Thanks.

getoffthecoffeetable Wed 14-Nov-12 20:01:24

The fees stay the same until 2nd birthday because the ratio has to be 1/3.
I think this was just the final straw really and I've handed in our month's notice.
Have found a lovely new nursery that's got lots of space and DS will go straight in to their toddler room when he starts in January.
Thank you all so much for your comments. I'll take them all on board when the pick ups start for the new nursery.

juneybean Sat 10-Nov-12 18:09:00

Are the fees higher for the baby room?

piggypoppins Sat 10-Nov-12 17:54:40

I work in a pre school and we are really happy to have parents stay as long as they like at drop off time and to visit whenever they like. Pick up time is more tricky as we too have children to pick up from school and the longer parents stay the later we are...we allow 15 mins at the end of the day which gives us plenty time to chat with all parents briefly about their dc's day.

getoffthecoffeetable Mon 05-Nov-12 19:41:37

Sorry I withdrew post. It was because I thought I'd given too much detail in it and would be outed in RL and I hadn't yet decided what I wanted to do.
I was unsure if I'd stayed too long, hence why I asked. I was staying between 2-10 mins depending how long it took to get shoes on etc!
DS is only child so have nothing to compare the experience to.
I think the main issue really was that nursery haven't moved DS up to the toddler room yet even though we'd asked him to be and they've said that they'll ensure DS is in the toddler room whenever the little girl he knocked over was going to be in the baby room. This wouldn't have happened if he'd been in the toddler room in the first place.
Am feeling like I've lost confidence in the nursery so have decided that I'm giving notice and am currently looking around new nurseries. In the new nurseries will be much quicker with pick up though. Have learnt my lesson the hard way.
Thank you all for your posts. I appreciate it.

TiggyD Sat 03-Nov-12 11:40:25

"From working in a nursery though, I do recognise that it is a real pain for staff when parents hang around for ages, their child plays up and staff can't discipline them"

Yes yes yes!

I couldn't care if a parent stayed all day as long as their presence didn't disrupt the nursery.

mogandme Wed 31-Oct-12 22:41:01

Agreed HSMM smile

HSMM Wed 31-Oct-12 22:26:14

If collecting right at the end of the day, you should leave quickly, so the staff can clear up and get home. If collecting while other children are still there, you should leave quickly, so you don't disturb the other children. If there is something urgent that needs talking about, hopefully someone will grab you before you get as far as your child anyway.

PurpleGentian Wed 31-Oct-12 22:25:34

Usually I stay long enough to ask the staff how DS has been, then put his coat on etc and leave. This doesn't usually take long - maybe a few minutes?

Generally I only stay longer if I turn up in the middle of dinner and DS is still eating.

MrsCantSayAnything Wed 31-Oct-12 22:18:21

II don't think you need to stay that long. They're busy...get your child and go. Pop in once a week to see what he's been up to.

mogandme Wed 31-Oct-12 22:15:04

Totally agree NickNacks - am now a nanny and it astonishes me how behaviour can change drastically during my end of day handover and with me not 100% sure I should step it - until I just get cross and take charge blush

As a nursery nurse it's the same - the children know the rules; even the 1-2's and behave, however a mix of end of the day tiredness and parents being there cause ructions that would normally be dealt with quickly and swiftly to escalate ie kicking toys and not apologising.

MikeOxardForHalloween Wed 31-Oct-12 21:46:16

I'm gobsmacked how long people stay too. I'm in and out in a couple of minutes, just long enough to give her kiss, pick up her things and one of the staff will usually say she was good today/had a lovely day. It would be awful if all the parents hung about for half an hour when picking their kids up, disruptive for the kids and staff. Why not just get on with it, there's no need to fanny about for that length of time.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Wed 31-Oct-12 21:42:13

When sons were in nursery, I was in and out as quickly as possibly, as I did not want to take up the time of the staff, unless there was an issue. No point lingering.

SamSmalaidh Wed 31-Oct-12 21:36:34

I tend to stay for about 5 minutes I suppose, sometimes 10 if I am a little early and DS is still eating his lunch or something.

From working in a nursery though, I do recognise that it is a real pain for staff when parents hang around for ages, their child plays up and staff can't discipline them, they monopolise staff time and take up lots of space. So I try to be respectful of the difficulties hanging about and wanting to chat can cause!

NickNacks Wed 31-Oct-12 21:34:54

It's a hard time of day because no one takes control of the child and thru know it!!

It bothers me a lot as a cm when parents hang around too long. We have a good chat about the day whilst gathering things etc but then they don't leave and the children start getting toys out again, siblings fight, they run around my house with their shoes on. I try to step in as it's my house but without parents backing its futile. These children are perfectly lovely before their parent arrives!

crackcrackcrak Wed 31-Oct-12 21:30:37

Dd decides! Sometimes she's wants to dash out of the door. Sometimes she wants to show me things or squeeze in another few minutes with her pals or a favourite activity. Dd nursery don't seem to mind if she hangs around.

ceebeegeebies Wed 31-Oct-12 21:27:14

Just what I was wondering...why was her message withdrawn?

mogandme Wed 31-Oct-12 21:10:47

Why did getoff delete her message?

So he kicked something at a smaller baby, refused to say sorry for several minutes (what were you doing?) then apologised and both fell over.

Tbh as a nursery nurse I can see/imagine several things that may have also happened ..... Come back op

getoffthecoffeetable Wed 31-Oct-12 20:13:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RyleDup Wed 31-Oct-12 20:12:00

Out as quickly as possible here. No reason to hang round unless theres a problem.

ceebeegeebies Wed 31-Oct-12 20:10:43

Am shock that you all stay as long as you do tbh.

I have been using the same nursery for nearly 6 years now and I have only ever stopped as long as it takes to get my child in his coat and shoes and out the door - 5 minutes max. Don't generally chat to the staff other than hello as they will always tell me if anything unusual has happened (which is very very rare). I don't really see the need to stop any longer - I just want to get home!

That seems to be the norm at the nursery aswell.

Jollyb Wed 31-Oct-12 20:08:00

Another in and out here - 5 mins max unless there was a problem.

mogandme Wed 31-Oct-12 20:07:02

What was the reasoning?

mogandme Wed 31-Oct-12 20:06:32

I was a nursery nurse - it ranges from 2-10 minutes. Odd comments BUT does Ds really cause a problem? When you say show off - how? If a child was too noisy, was running about, not listening, throwing, fiddling, being silly and causing a scene/causing others to copy then I wouldn't be happy and tbh we are also caring for the other children having. a child playing up and a flapping parent doesn't help us do pure job etc

getoffthecoffeetable Wed 31-Oct-12 20:06:29

They did explain their reasoning but I don't agree with it, which in turn is making me feel uncomfortable about the nursery and have been thinking I'd like to pull DS out but I wanted to see if I was overreacting or not.

Gumby Wed 31-Oct-12 19:59:52

We just dashed in and out
Listened to a run down of their day , got bags & coats & left

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