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Previously happy DS, now not so....

(10 Posts)
Mumswang Thu 16-Jun-11 09:55:48

DS is just 2. He has been going to nursery one day a week since he was 1. He has always really enjoyed it, running in without look backwards. Running away from me when I arrived to pick him up.

For the last six weeks he has been increasingly unhappy when I drop him off. Cluminating in him having to ge prized off me this morning sad

I have cried all the way to work, and now I'm stuck in the car park waiting for my red eyes to subside

The staff insist he is fine within minutes of me leaving

He is not a clingy child, quite the opposite. And he rarely cries, which is what makes me upset because I figure if he's crying then he's really unhappy sad
Two weeks ago he moved up a room and the staff seem to think this is what's triggered the change, but actually his last few weeks in the baby room were the same. They also seem to want me to just peel him off and leave him, rather than staying with him until he's happier. I know they're the pros and I'm willing to 'dump him' and run if this really is the best way of dealing with it. But I know my boy, and I'm not convinced

The staff are lovely, but this toddler room is chaotic and noisy, as a room of toddlers is. He's not normally phased by comotion. Oh I don't know....

My mother says it's normal, at 2 he will be getting more aware of the world and yes, he is more shy with strangers than he used to be. Is it normal for a child to quite suddenly change from being happy in an environment to not being so?

Mumswang Thu 16-Jun-11 14:16:36

Small sad bump

princesbold Thu 16-Jun-11 19:39:16

Just a case of time will tell, everybody seems to be doing the right thing including you.

kd73 Thu 16-Jun-11 19:42:39

How awful for you both, my DS was always left at nursery clinging onto me for deal life, crying etc etc but I stayed outside the door out of sight and he always settled really quickly. It is only in the last 6 months that he has changed but will still opt to stay home if given the option. Out of curiosity is he still eating and sleeping ok?

DrinkFeckArseGirls Thu 16-Jun-11 19:46:29

Sorry, have no good advice (my DD is only 6,5 months) but bumping it for you. I don't know, can't you stay and observe without him knowing (although I appreciate that would be difficult to carry out)? To be honest, personally I'd be rethinking the choice of nursery, if my DD was unhappy in it. Ask me again in 3 months, she's starting one part-time in September.

mrspants Thu 16-Jun-11 19:49:41

Hi, I went through the same with my son and am currently going through it with my girl. She is 2 and 4 months and refuses to get in the car to go to the childminder who she has loved since she was 6 months. She says she misses me soo much and loves me and wants to stay with mummy which breaks my heart, but the CM says she is fine as soon as door shut.
I think it is just a phase and unless you have serious misgivings about the nursery just persevere and it will get back to normal.
Also I found with my son 2 was the age where he was getting more willful and they would be more able to stand uop to him at nursery, unlike soft touch mummy, so he was bound to want to stay at home.

cookielove Thu 16-Jun-11 19:52:14

If he was perfectly happy previously, then i would put it down to a phase, i work with 2-3 year olds, and have seen several children go through phases like this. Is he eating and sleeping if he is then i wouldn't be worried, also when you pick him up is he engaged and playing, if yes then to be honest i think he is giving you a guilt trip, and probably going through a little separation anxiety.

Mumswang Thu 16-Jun-11 23:05:58

Oh thanks all, have just seen these replies after a horrid, stressy, weepy day (am also pregnant so hormones awry and not helping)

I phoned mid morning, they said he cried for just a couple of minutes and had been perfectly happy since. DP snuck up and watched through the door when he picked him up and he was happily playing.

I think I have to give him a few weeks, and my self too to get used to the new room. Doesn't help that on his first day there he got bitten twice and another child headbutted him, giving himself not DS a nosebleed. So not the most auspicious start but I know biting is a common toddler thing and I was reassured that it was dealt with

I'm glad to hear that sone if you have experienced similar phases in children of this age, and yes I can see that he is definitely growing up and becoming more aware and demonstrative

DP called me a big silly, when I cried down the phone for the third time , and said he's just saying that he'd rather be with grandad (and yes, every morning he wants to see grandad) and this us just his way of getting his feelings known

Sure he's right. I shall be very brave for the next few weeks and see how it goes

Thanks again smile

Zra Thu 16-Jun-11 23:14:38

Hi. Both my ds went through the phase that you describe at around two yrs. The change from one room to another may have caused the anxiety. I am guessing that your ds had visits to his new room before full transition. This is why he may have been upset the couple of weeks before the move. Was he attached to his previous key worker? My ds screeeeamed for his key worker when moving up a room blush. At one point they gave up and sent him back to her!!
If your ds seems happy when you collect him and content at home I would wait a couple of weeks to see if he settles.
I know how you feel, it's horrid seeing your ds upset. I wish you both well smile

rattling Fri 17-Jun-11 15:58:40

I have 25 month old twins, one of whom is going through exactly this. Thankfully it is DH who has to drop off the distraught child. He is the "big silly" who calls to report how horrid it was and how much he didn't want to leave them. I get to pick him up when he is happy again (and sometimes hard to remove from the toys). They have been at this nursery for well over 6 months and till recently loved it.

They haven't moved up to the next room yet as they were prem and still seem a bit behind. I know a few children who moved up recently seem to be having a bad time - perhaps this wasn't the move, just being 2?

The happy at nursery twin is waking in the middle of the night needing a cuddle - I think they are really becoming aware of the people in their life and when they aren't around.

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