Should I put him back?

[globex]

Hello there -

We moved when DS was a year old and couldn't get in to our first choice of nursery so he went to another for almost a year. It turned out fine - they adored him, it was a bit run down and chaotic but everyone seemed happy and the children were clearly looked after and having fun.

We got a place at the first choice and moved him. Part of the reason was that it was cheaper. It was also newer, cleaner and they talked a lot about educational targets etc etc etc.. To be honest I find educational targets for anyone under, say, six a bit silly but I was trying to be a good parent!

So he's been at this new nursery for about six months and I'm not too happy but I'm not sure if I'm just being over sensitive. They don't seem to care for him as much - they don't really show any affection towards him and often they don't even greet him when he's dropped off - he just runs towards the breakfast table and that's it (greedy!) But it seems to be just him - the others get a big 'Hello Caitlin' and a conversation with the parents..

Would this kind of thing worry anyone else? Should I put him back in the more expensive anarchic nursery? Will it be damaging to a nearly two and a half year old?!

[LoveMyGirls]

I think he would adapt but if he has been away from the other nursery for 6 months he probably won't recognise the key workers (even if they are the same ones) though if you were happy with where he was before it could be worth moving him back, then again if this nursery is cheaper and he is happy there then why rock the boat?

[globex]

He's happyish - but then he's a pretty happy kid.

It's just the old nursery really, really loved him! The staff used to joke about adopting him all the time - they even offered to look after him free sometimes.. They had a big party when he left and some of them cried - which sounds a teeny bit ridiculous now I write it down.. I know he probably won't remember them but if I can't look after him myself then the main thing I'd want from a carer is someone that actually really really likes him.. And not somewhere where he's just another child - I don't think any of them should be treated like that at this age..

The new nursery put their prices up just after we joined so its almost the same as the old one now! I think I'll just make a super effort with the staff and see if that reaps any benefit..

[LoveMyGirls]

Yes I would change him back then, even if he doesn't remember him, they will remember and love him and would be really happy to have him back.

[LoveMyGirls]

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[PukeyMummy]

Some parents are just more pushy than others when it comes to the morning/evening handover chats. I'm lucky that I normally have the time to hang around whilst the pushier parents tell the staff all about their PFB's every bowel movement and sneeze over the weekend/previous night.

I hang around a few minutes until it's quieter and then make sure I have a chat about anything I need to say to the staff about DD that day. She is normally a bit clingy to me so needs to be handed over to someone anyway. (She is 2.6)

At pick up time I try to arrive a little bit before the 5pm rush so that I can find out about her day properly.

Is there any chance you can vary your drop off/pick up times a little to avoid the "rush" and get him settled in properly?

Don't forget that if many of the other kids have been there since being babies or soon after and it's a small nursery, the staff will know the kids and their parents well already. This is the case at my DD's nursery. She's been there a year now but it did take a while before I felt like she and I "belonged". Now we're part of the furniture.

Is there something you could do to ingratiate yourself with the staff more? Sometimes DD and I bake cakes or biscuits at the weekend and take in leftovers for the staff room. Or a box of chocolates that you had leftover" from something and didn't want?

[PukeyMummy]

That should have read "had leftover" by the way - i.e. buy some chocs for the staff but pretend you had them leftover from something, for example Christmas.

[cinpin]

I would change him back to the original one. Some people to this job for the money and do the basics, and others do it because they love children. My daughter can still remember the posh nursery I sent her too and how awful it was but she loved the scruffy preschool run by mums.

[wearymum200]

I think nursery is about being happy and cared for, not "targets". I have been aware ever since DS1 started (he's now nealry 5 and at school) that the nursery I chode to send him to is slightly run down, can be chaotic and they can't spell, but he adored them and they adored him (still do) and the same staff now look after DD2, who is similarly heppy and settled (DD2 also rushes straight to the breakfast table without waiting to be greeted, but the staff do greet her!) So what i guess I'm trying to say is, my experience would drive me back to the 1st one, I suppose!