Over anxious, or trust my instincts?

[BeautifulLola]

Hi there. I'm just in the process of settling my DD (20 months) into nursery and so far have had 3 settling in mornings. The first morning I arrived nobody was expecting us and we spent the morning in the wrong class where the kids were slightly older. Not a big problem but it was a bit unsettling that they were not better organised. Then during a settling in session last week we went out into the playground and I discovered that one of my daughters carers had her own daughter at the same nursery but in another class, and when the other class joined us in the playground she understandably went up to and cuddled her own daughter. However, her daughters carer then started some light-hearted banter with the little girl by saying "oh, you love your mummy more now, I thought I was your friend this morning", to which the mother (my daughters carer) replied "yes, tell Auntie Zoe you hate her, pull her hair". Am I being totally unreasonable to think this was unacceptable behaviour? Fair enough, she's entitled to speak to her own child and bring her up any way she wants to, but when she's also going to be responsible for my child on a daily basis I thought it was completely inappropriate. I've now got reservations about sending DD to this nursery but don't know if I'm overreacting and just looking for an excuse not the cut the apron strings just yet! I also don't know whether to mention this incident to the nursery manager or just remove my DD and put it down to experience.

[dribbleface]

to be honest thats terrible. It might well be that its something they 'joke' about at home but to do that at nursery is awful. Have a chat with the nursery manager, if she is shocked and takes action then perhaps give it a bit longer, but if your not happy then perhaps look around for another nursery.

[juneybean]

Trust your instinct!

[Balsam]

Generally, I'd say trust your instincts. Might be worth doing one or two more sessions to just confirm them, though.

[greentig3r]

Even just using the word 'hate' is unacceptable IMO. One of a few non-swearwords we view as inappropriate (along with rubbish and knackered!)

[ThatllDoPig]

Trust your instincts. Always worry when you see and hear something you don't like when it is in front of you, makes you wonder what worse things are said when you aren't there.