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Sat at airport in tears... how do I get through

(51 Posts)
AndAnon Mon 11-Nov-19 18:44:31

I’m in the loo at Heathrow having a little sob. I’m off on a business trip and feel so sad leaving my two children at home.

They are with DH and obviously I trust him but my youngest is only three and feels so little. I’m away two weeks and really struggling. I don’t know how I’ll get on the plane.

Equally this is something I wanted to do. It’s a great opportunity.

I wish I didn’t feel so distressed.

meganxz Mon 11-Nov-19 18:47:53

Your children are not going to forget you/love you don't worry.

After few weeks they will forget anyway x

Also use the time to recharge and have some alone time, the kids will still be there cute as ever when you get back.

I never stayed away from my 18 month old and when she was 12 months I ended up in hospital for a week. I tried discharging myself when i was on deaths bed scared of leaving her. Well we survived it and the bond is still strong.

Wipe your tears mummy, get on the plane and enjoy the opportunity that the universe has given you.

And kick back and relax xx

IndigoSkye Mon 11-Nov-19 18:48:21

That's really tough! It's so hard being a mum and being torn between what you want to do for your career and your children all at the same time. You will have a great trip and your kids will be fine and you are a fantastic role model for them. thanksthanks

AndAnon Mon 11-Nov-19 18:53:18

Thank you. I know I need to tough this bit out but I just feel so awful and just want to be there to tuck them into bed tonight.

Roselilly36 Mon 11-Nov-19 18:54:56

No advice, but sending youflowers

Finfintytint Mon 11-Nov-19 18:58:43

No problem missing your child but they will not bring this business trip up in years to come. Get on with doing what you are doing.

Bythebeach Mon 11-Nov-19 19:00:25

Oh that’s tough! It is a long trip but it will fly by once you’re busy! It’s the hanging round in the airport bit that’s tough. I had the most amazing few nights away with a couple of girlfriends in Vienna two years ago but nearly didn’t get on the plane worrying about the kids! They were fine and I had such a fabulous kid free few days it was restorative for me the person not just the mum-work—wife drudge!!

Cantchooseaname Mon 11-Nov-19 19:02:55

I feel exactly the same- have just had to leave my 3 year old with dad and grandparents whilst I work away.
It’s only 3 days, but I feel awful.
My mum gave me grief about doing it. Yet my husband is away most weeks for work- no one bats an eyelid.
It will be fine- you will be busy, face time is a wonderful thing.
Good luck!

Joopy Mon 11-Nov-19 19:03:26

This was me a couple of years ago, cried the first evening and then I slept the whole night for the first time in 2 years! Think of the positives and how happy they'll be to see you when you're back.

Hidingtonothing Mon 11-Nov-19 19:06:11

This is the hard bit, once you're there and immersed in the work it will be easier. Grit your teeth and get on the plane, the rest will fall into place flowers

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Mon 11-Nov-19 19:08:56

What’s the time zone difference? Skype then and I hope you have some time to go shopping for some exciting foreign goodies.

TSSDNCOP Mon 11-Nov-19 19:19:01

Gosh that is a long trip, I can see why you’re distressed. You have to get on the plane, step 1 so start walking slowly to the gate. Download a movie whilst you’re waiting and when you get on board order a drink and switch off. If you didn’t see it Friday night’s Graham Norton was brilliant so that is worth a watch. Get some sleep next and that’ll turn your brain off.

LuciaLuciaLucia Mon 11-Nov-19 19:20:33

As you said, it´s a great opportunity for you to grow not only workvise but personally as well. It will enrich your life and that will bring new views for you as a mother but also for your kids too.
When I left for a week the first time there were many tears (and huffing from my DH; he managed prfectly). Next time it will be easier.
Have a safe journey, you will be back soon.

HuloBeraal Mon 11-Nov-19 19:20:48

DH regularly does that a few times a year. And he’s a very hands on parent otherwise. The kids are fine, the time flies and they genuinely don’t remember it.

Panda368 Mon 11-Nov-19 19:26:28

You will be fine, they will be fine. I left my 11 month old for 2weeks when I flew to the far east with work.
Partner survived. Baby survived. I survived.
It was hard but the best things were video calls - not every night but maybe 3-4 times over the trip and just keeping my "work" head on and trying not to think about it too hard. I reasoned that if I don't miss him when I'm in the office for the day it would only be evenings that are a bit rubbish - plus 2 weeks of undisturbed nights (bar jetlag)

Have a glass of wine on the flight. Watch some crap films and think about how pleased they will be to see you when you get back. Everyone will be 100% fine.

AndAnon Mon 11-Nov-19 19:27:09

Thanks all. Pulling myself together. Every minute passed is a minute closer to my return and hopefully once I’m there I’ll switch into work mode and the time will fly. I’m lucky to have this opportunity I just need to keep reminding myself of that!

foxychox Mon 11-Nov-19 19:28:58

I've not had to go away for that long but have done a week at a time. I try to see it as being a really positive role model for my DDs (and I ALWAYS bring a present back!)

SonEtLumiere Mon 11-Nov-19 19:32:38

Been there a few years ago and left one my eldests first day at school, so wasn’t there to pick her up.
Anyway, just went into complete work mode and it was , until on the last day (literally hours before leaving for the airport), someone asked me if I missed the kids, I just started blubbing... even worse was getting “bedside manner” from the psychiatrist sitting next to her. Ten years later I still go scarlet to my roots thinking about it.

MinkyWinky Mon 11-Nov-19 19:35:27

I travel with work and know how you feel. It is really hard. As the time zones are sometimes out, we send WhatsApp recordings to each other every morning and evening if we can’t video call.

As other posters have said you will be busy and enjoy some downtime if you get it!

eurochick Mon 11-Nov-19 19:39:36

I get it. I had to go away for almost a week when my daughter was seven months (I had just gone back to work). I dreaded it in the lead up but it wasn't too awful once I was there. The worst bit was pumping and dumping sooooo much milk 😩

custardbear Mon 11-Nov-19 19:43:27

FaceTime works well so try to get the right time so you can read them a bedtime story and pretend To kiss them goodnight - work things well with your job and your husband to make it easier for you all

Justaboy Mon 11-Nov-19 19:49:00

Can you not Skype them?.

Gileadisreal Mon 11-Nov-19 19:49:05

Oh that's hard on you. Three year old will be absolutely fine, but it's tough for you I know. I left my three year old with DH for countless nightshifts as a midwife, and I would cry real tears on my break sometimes because it would be 2am and all I wanted in the world was to be there stroking her little head.
You ARE lucky to have this opportunity. The same as I was lucky to be there for families on their best ever day delivering babies. It's okay to have moments of sadness, but try to make the best of it and know that they will be absolutely fine.

francienolan Mon 11-Nov-19 19:52:18

Aw, it'll be okay!

My father used to go on long tours throughout my whole childhood (he's in entertainment). I missed him but it was fine--bring them back a little present! We just made sure to be in touch as much as possible. It was always really exciting to hear about where he had been.

isspacethefinalfrontier Mon 11-Nov-19 19:55:02

We are the opposite- we keep contact to a minimum as it is easier that way.

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