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WWYD - work related, odd situation

(24 Posts)
IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 10:06:23

My previous boss left the institution in strange circumnstances - it was basically not clear if he resigned or if he was made to leave. Reasons related to bullying (this is relevant).

For a long time he was extremely paranoid about people contacting him using the institution's email account and asked us to give him our personal email. I didn't want this so I created a separate work account that I use to communicate with him.

It's been 2 years now. I still email him from time to time. Some times I do it from the other account, sometimes from my normal work account, mainly because it is much easier for me to keep track of everything that way.

I have noticed that when I do it from my normal account sometimes he goes to the extent of changing the email address to the other one. And recently he has stopped replying at all.

This happened this week - he has not replied to any of my messages but I know he has replied to other email communications. I have the feeling that if I re-sent the message through my separate account, he would reply.

I was about to do this, but I feel he is playing games, and makes me feel uncomfortable. But maybe I am overthinking it? He is a very difficult person so I know I might be oversensitive.

Disclaimers -
I am just interested in other people's views/opinions.
I do have more important things to worry, this is just niggling.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort Thu 10-Oct-19 10:15:50

He doesn't want your HR department etc to be able to view emails he has sent and received I would assume.

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 10:23:41

Yes, that's probably it.

I would feel better if he said - "I still prefer not to comunicate through your work email".
It's the silence treatment that annoyes me.

TheFlis12345 Thu 10-Oct-19 10:27:32

How can someone refuse to use work email to communicate about work?!? That’s ridiculous. I would be asking HR if you have an IT policy as a lot of them explicitly ban using personal email for work issues.

HollowTalk Thu 10-Oct-19 10:31:12

Do you want to remain in touch with him? Was he accused of bullying? You seem to not trust him enough with a private email address, so I wondered why you were still in touch with him.

Skinnydogfatcat1 Thu 10-Oct-19 10:32:43

Why are you communicating with him if he has left the company?
He doesn't want to be emailed via the company's network; given what's happen.

If you are contacting him, it is personal & you should do so through your personal account.

Singlenotsingle Thu 10-Oct-19 10:32:57

My thoughts too. This was two years ago. Why are you still in contact at all?

user1474894224 Thu 10-Oct-19 11:04:13

If he's a friend then use your personal account. You shouldn't use a work account for personal mails.

If you are emailing him in his new role because of your work then you should use the work email.

If you are emailing him about 'what should you do....' or 'do you know where such and such is.....' Then stop. he no longer works for your company.

HowlsMovingBungalow Thu 10-Oct-19 11:06:40

Why would you need to email an ex boss? Strange imo.

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 11:15:59

I worked for him for several years and we had a number of projects ongoing at the time he left. Most of these will result in publications (academic field) so I need to remain in contact to make sure I am acknowledged for my work.

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 11:20:26

@user1474894224

1) If he's a friend then use your personal account. You shouldn't use a work account for personal mails.

He is not a friend.

2) If you are emailing him in his new role because of your work then you should use the work email.

Partly. It's in relation to his current role, and also his previous work, as I said before.

3) If you are emailing him about 'what should you do....' or 'do you know where such and such is.....' Then stop. he no longer works for your company.

I certainly do not do this. It's the other way around in fact.

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 11:21:57

@HowlsMovingBungalow - as I said, it's academia, so research collaborations tend to extend longer than contracts...

GardenSauvage Thu 10-Oct-19 11:24:59

He's asked you to contact via your personal email so just do that. You still have a record of correspondence.

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 12:04:18

Ok, I see noone is picking up on the 'ignoring my messages unless they are through his preferred way'.
I might be a bit oversentivite to this.
I will do as suggested.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort Thu 10-Oct-19 13:43:13

Why are you contacting him ever through a method you know he isn't going to respond?
I mean, his behaviour is weird but just email from the address he responds to and keep your own records of correspondence.

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 14:11:50

*Why are you contacting him ever through a method you know he isn't going to respond?
I mean, his behaviour is weird but just email from the address he responds to and keep your own records of correspondence.*

Just because sometimes it is easier - ie if I have to fwd some information that I have in my work account, or if I have to cc people whose addresses I do not have in my other account.

MouthyHarpy Thu 10-Oct-19 14:48:38

According to your 1st post, he did ask you not to use a work email address. Yet you still do so. He probably doesn't want his emails to you being accessible by your managers. Which is his right.

YABU

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 15:42:27

@MouthyHarpy - this is not IABU grin

Yes, he did ask about two years ago. During these years he has replied to work emails. I didn't think it was a big deal anymore.

But yes, you are probably right, he does not want managers or HR to be able to access his email.

I still find it odd that instead of saying "can you please still not email me from your work address" he just gives me the cold treatment!

MouthyHarpy Thu 10-Oct-19 15:51:00

Maybe because he's already asked you, has adjusted the email he replies to, and feels he's asked (I hope politely), has modelled preferred behaviour to you, but you still don't have the courtesy to do what he has requested.

It's not odd - you, otoh, are borderline rude to & about him.

ChicCroissant Thu 10-Oct-19 15:53:07

It just seems so pointless to persist in using an email address you already knew he wouldn't reply to! Are you trying to catch him out?

If you don't agree with using a personal address (which is fine btw) then just create an email account outside of work (outlook or similar) for that project. You can forward everything received on that account to your works email automatically if you wish. But it is just so strange for you to continue to use a method you know he's not going to respond to AND to expect him to confirm that! You know. You don't need to be told.

Mimsnethe Thu 10-Oct-19 15:58:23

Is any of the information you’re sending to him commercially sensitive?

LifeSpectator Thu 10-Oct-19 16:20:19

say someone asked you not to phone them but to send text instead, and despite this you continued to call...are they unreasonable to not answer your call, while replying to texts, or must they answer your call to tell you not to call ..
or put it another way 'dear mn'ers a former collegue keeps mailing me form my old work, ive asked her not to do it, she continues to do so...how many replies would be then just ignore her mails..

LifeSpectator Thu 10-Oct-19 16:22:04

and reasons they left is clearly not relevant, so why sraise it and say it is

IamAporcupine Thu 10-Oct-19 20:13:42

Many thanks everyone.

I think what threw me off was that he did answer those messages in the past, so I assumed he was now ok.

Anyway, it looks like my views on this were likely clouded by past experiences.

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