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Impartial Marriage Advice

(5 Posts)
AnnieKat Wed 18-Jul-18 08:41:14

I havr been reading through threads for years, but never wrote any thread.

Now I feel desperate and I need some impartial advice.

I have been with my husband for 10 years, 2 dating and 8 married. We have a 6 year old girl, who I love to bits.
My husband is not a bad guy, he helps around the house and is good to our daughter.
But he has a dark side. When he drinks alcohol he never knows when to stop and gets really drunk. Sometimes we are at friends's houses and he drinks until he falls to the ground. He is not violent when drunk, but I feel so embarassed to be with him then. I hate having to carry him to the car and hate the fact that he cannot control himself drinking.
He also smokes weed... sad and I hate it.
He smokes every day and he becones idle on the sofa. He has been doing it for years and I was always clear that I hate it and will walk away if he continues. He promises to stop, but he never does for long.

Now, I feel I have had enough! I hate weed with all my beeing! This addiction of his has destroyed our marriage.

But my heart breaks to destroy my daughter's family. Family means the world to her and I am stuck. I want out, but I do not want to hurt her. Please help!

Singlenotsingle Wed 18-Jul-18 08:47:52

As DD gets older, she will notice this behaviour of DH's more and more, and it will start to impact on her. She won't be able to have her friends over for visits or sleepovers, for fear of what her df will do. It's embarrassing for a child to have a father who gets drunk and falls over, or falls asleep on the sofa. And will it get worse? Probably!

AnnieKat Wed 18-Jul-18 09:34:20

Thanks, Singlenotsingle

You are right and I can see that things are not getting any better, I just feel like such a failure for not being able to keep the family together for the sake of my daughter.
She is doing really well now at school, she has really progressed with her piano and I fear that a divorce will significantly impact her development.

It is so hard, I really feel for women who have to go through this.

Debbi55 Mon 06-Aug-18 22:12:23

I'm sorry to hear your story. I was lucky i came out from a 23 year marriage with my son but he was just 18 when i went and took him with me.
One thing i can say is if he's smoking weed then you need out not just for your sanity but for your daughters as well. people who smoke this get paranoid angry stressed and the list never ends really. if he won't stop it and drinking then he's the one being very selfish and that tells me that he doesn't love you as you think he dose, nor his daughter sadly.I would say go while the goings good and save you and your daughter from putting up with anymore of it, if that was me i would have gone asap i wouldn't let my daughter see and hear stuff, just because you may split up doesn't mean that your daughter won't see her dad again...unless hes drunk and or high!
Hope this help's in some way, and good luck......))

Twatie Sun 12-Aug-18 02:19:32

Oh just kick him out xxx

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