Separating from husband

[Jubelle]

Hi, I'm new here and haven't posted before. Just need to get something off chest as I don't want to speak to my friends or family until I sort my head out.
I have been thinking of separating from my hubby with a very long time, but keep putting it off. He is a very selfish man who has alcohol issues, drinks maybe 3 nights a week, not a huge amount but once he starts he has to keep drinking until he falls asleep, he's not abusive but just goes into his own world, using headphones on the phone. I know he looks at alot of porn which is ironic as we haven't had sex since my daughter was concieved over two and half years ago.

He also does absolutely nothing around the house, no cooking, cleaning and diy even though as I'm self employed some weeks I work full time hours. Anytime I say anything to him he Stonewalls me and refuses to answer, then I lose my temper and I hate fighting in front of kids. I'm worried about effect it will have on them seeing us like this.
Also at moment I'm really worried about money, earning nothing at the moment as business is so quiet, he earns a decent wage but refuses to have a joint account, he pays mortgage, pays bin charges and contribute s towards food and I pay all other bill, kids clothes etc.

So I don't want to be still stuck in this situation a year from now and just need to bite the bullet. He has no interest in going to counselling, just adamant he staying put.
Any advice?, Thanks

[Amyerda]

Sounds like you need to look at the practical issues you will face when you leave. You will need somewhere to live and money. Find out from CAB re possible benefits you may be entitled to and you can do on line calculations re tax credits and child maintenance. First things first you may want to have a face to face consultation with a solicitor in order to know your rights. Divorce will take care of the division of your joint assets and child welfare contact and residence. Maybe find out if there is a local advocacy service to help you to plan. You will have options re housing depending on where you live and you should seek advice re your rights or you may be able to rent if you have a deposit. You will plan for a while and prepare, but not necessarily leave until you are absolutely sure. Then nothing will stop you. Good luck.... info and advice are what you need