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School Gate Politics

(26 Posts)
TiredMummy77 Sat 01-Jul-17 23:15:13

How can a bunch of women be so bitchy and start to be personal on social media. Being made to feel an outsider! I hate the school pick ups. Why are these mums so bloody clicky! I have been dropping my daughter since last September. Used to chat with a group of mums but they have all become clicky with each other. Pushing me out and just been damn right nasty and rude and in my eyes childish with stupid immature comments!

I have never been a confident person and don't know how to deal with it. It has got to the point of dropping my daughter at the last minute and picking up at last minute so I dont have to spend any unnecessary time there. Just is affecting me emotionally. Any guidance? Xxx thanks in advance xx

FreakinDeacon Sat 01-Jul-17 23:18:19

It is a mystery to me why this happens but the best thing you can do is hold your head high and ignore. Easy for me to say I know but if they get a rise out of you they will have got what they wanted. Sorry, it's horrible and is a reflection on them, not you flowers

HelenKeller Sat 01-Jul-17 23:19:44

I think some people act like they are still at school when their DC are at school. I get in and out as quickly as possible.

TiredMummy77 Sat 01-Jul-17 23:24:31

I really don't understand it at all. Im an older mum of 39 and they are all younger. They are nosey and make snidey comments... i really don't need it at my age. As long as my little one is happy at school is all the matters. My new plan is to leave drop off to last minute and pick up the same. The rest just effects me. I was bullied as a kid and i have been left with anxiety because of it.

I will definitely use your advice. Hold my head high and ignore it. Do i delete them from social media too or will that cause more problem?

Xxx 💐

DD0314 Sat 01-Jul-17 23:26:55

School mums can be so bitchy. I agree with above, head high and totally ignore them. It's pathetic and totally unnecessary.

RedastheRose Sat 01-Jul-17 23:37:18

I wouldn't change my habits just to avoid them! Just ignore as they are the small minded sad little bints who have to make themselves feel important by making comments about other parents. I'm sure you're not alone so say hello to someone else who's standing alone p, there's bound to be someone else they do this too.

TiredMummy77 Sun 02-Jul-17 00:46:30

I think if I stand out the way, they will eventually all fall out anyway. I have then distanced myself away from them and can watch for it all to happen. There are other mums that stand alone and I think I will join them! I'm better than this! Can't believe I've made myself upset over this! Xx

TiredMummy77 Sun 02-Jul-17 16:08:34

Im already dreading the morning school run tomorrow! Xx

RedastheRose Sun 02-Jul-17 23:08:46

Tell yourself that you are better than them (which is true) you don't have to care about their opinions/what they say, think or feel. These are not your friends. The older I get the less I care about what other people think about me and care more about what I think about them 😀

TiredMummy77 Sun 02-Jul-17 23:48:09

I totally agree with all u have said. Need to think of myself xx thank u so much xxx

NoBerryJam Mon 03-Jul-17 11:09:58

I'm not a fan of the school run, I started doing it in September. I know a few parents at the school but I don't make a habit of standing around chatting to be in with the mom's. I go, I drop my kid off, mind my own business and at home time, I go, pick up my kid and mind my own business. I say a polite hello to the other parents from my kids class but that's as far as I go. I have my own friends and don't need to be a part of the playground mafia, it would not add any benefit to my life at all. I wouldn't worry about it. You have just as much right to be at the school as they do. Ignore them. If they say hi, say hi back. Do you really need them in your life?? Chin up Bab. You have nothing to feel bad about. Don't make a habit of being the last at drop off and pick up, just go normal time, and so what if you have to stand on your own, make a habit of standing in a different place. Don't let them make you feel like your an outsider.

TiredMummy77 Mon 03-Jul-17 15:07:05

I've literally just got here and I'm panicking already. This morning was fine as i dropped off later than I normally do and they had already gone. I need to tell myself that I am better than them and just get on with my life. I have always been paranoid. My husband said they arent even close friends or friends so what you worrying about. They were fine to begin with but have got bitchy since. I stupidly added them on facebook, deleting will make it too obvious! Well 10 minutes and I will brave it! Thanks for your messages and support xxxx smile

MadMags Mon 03-Jul-17 15:10:43

Are they making direct comments to you?

Sorry, I don't understand exactly what's happened!

sodablackcurrant Mon 03-Jul-17 15:17:08

Get a cheap pair of over the ear headphones, nice sunglasses, and be on your way.

Best form of defence is ignore, ignore, ignore. They sound like ignorant women. I thought all that kind of thing was gone with my mother's generation.

Anyway with the earphones and the sunglasses (even if it's raining lol), you can just walk on by. You are better off without them. Would you actually WANT to be part of such a bitchy clique? No you wouldn't.

TiredMummy77 Mon 03-Jul-17 16:14:53

In response to MadMags....Kind of making little comments which I know are clearly aimed at me. I actually told them to stop last week and they said we are only joking. But ut clearly was meant for me. I refuse to stand there and be laughed at.

TiredMummy77 Mon 03-Jul-17 16:16:17

Well I survived....i just held my head high. Said a polite hello and didnt get involved in conversation. I need to just be me and not part of some clique xxx

MadMags Mon 03-Jul-17 18:49:59

Well done on just ignoring it Tired.

FreakinDeacon Mon 03-Jul-17 19:26:08

We'll done tired

Every day will get a bit easier and they will be annoyed that you aren't falling over yourself to be their friend.

NoddysBell Mon 03-Jul-17 19:35:13

Theres a group of mum's from DD2's class that are like this. Mums from DD1's class are lovely and normal.

This shower from DD2's year have made it clear that I don't 'fit'. They'll chat to my mate but exclude me, even ignoring a direct "hello". So now I don't bother. Sunglasses on, earphones in and go and stand by myself or chat to another mum who isn't part of the clique. It's a horrible way to be made to feel though.

NoddysBell Mon 03-Jul-17 19:36:21

Just to add, they've all started falling out with each other over the kids.

TiredMummy77 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:43:10

This is exactly what I think will happen NoddysBell! Cant be like it forever. I just said hello and got out of there as soon as I could! I can't be like I was and let it bother me anymore. Need to telll myself Im better than them and they're not really friends, just mums at the gate! Xx thanks ladies 😚

NoddysBell Mon 03-Jul-17 20:03:03

No, it eats away at you. It's horrible. If you're at my school I'll be your mate!

TiredMummy77 Mon 03-Jul-17 20:17:09

Ahh bless you xx

Hodsonhe Mon 03-Jul-17 21:03:24

what parents need to realise is that how they act towards others their children pick up and emulate. In school there is bitchness and kids being excluded from groups because they are not popular, which is then emulated by parents at the school gates! The cycle continues !

SpidersandUnicorns Mon 03-Jul-17 21:58:57

"Just to add, they've all started falling out with each other over the kids."

As they inevitably do when there are one or two highly self centred people in the mix. Usually they are the ones that play all the political mind games (at the school gate, work, extended family), which then creates a destructive group dynamic where everyone is on their guard sucking up to self-centred group member(s) until..... pow boom the two or three self-centred individuals no longer play nicely with each other as their mutual egocentrism is no longer sustainable.

I have witnessed this a few times in different places.There is never a happy end in groups like that.

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