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Not excited to be pregnant

(10 Posts)
user1493647005 Mon 01-May-17 15:16:46

Hi there,

I feel bad even admitting this but I'm 11 weeks pregnant and not one part of me is excited. I'm keeping it because abortion isn't for me but I can't imagine looking forward to being a mum.

It was an unplanned pregnancy, I adore my job and love my life as it is.

But now when I see children in the street, prams, screaming babies I panic.

It's bizarre because until now I would be a maternal type, but now I want to run from all things baby related. Mums in work all seem to be in their mid 30s, married, delighted to be expecting. Whereas I'm in my 20s and it seems so far off one of my desires.

Will this change?

troodiedoo Tue 02-May-17 17:46:04

It did for me 16 years ago ago when I was in a similar position. You have 7 months or whatever to get used to the idea and plan. There's no reason why your career can't continue.

Of course nobody actively wants an abortion, but part of you deep down must want the baby more than you don't want to terminate. Saying that, the option is still there at this stage.

Perhaps some counselling would help you? Good luck with whatever you decide. flowers

Presh1234 Mon 08-May-17 09:32:59

I'm so glad you posted this! I'm feeling exactly the same. Found out on Saturday I was 4w. It's something I've always wanted but I'm only newly married-6 weeks!! We started trying immediately as we heard it could take time! I'm happy, I am but not jumping for joy. Then I feel bad and think is that wishing bad luck. I think of everything that can go wrong, the high risks and honestly, it scares me.

user1494422015 Wed 10-May-17 14:34:31

Wishing you luck because deep down you still want the baby. Abortions may not always be the solution. Keep it and everything will change, just like what @troodiedoo saying get some counseling.

Childcare Lifelong learning.

Presh1234 Wed 10-May-17 15:26:48

I've now got over the shock (I think that's what it was) and I'm excited now. Not excited at all about the nausea and the fatigue but happy about everything else. Think it's better too as my husband is now excited too. We had a big chat and he said he was just gobsmacked and a bit overwhelmed but now all is good!!! grin

SlB09 Wed 10-May-17 15:36:09

Early 30's, last one to have baby, unexpected and first trimester I didnt want to think, talk or admit it was real. I almost grieved for the life I have, I love my job, love working, my routine, sleep etc, like you wouldn't have considered abortion.
I have come around to it now and definately have days where im excited, it changed abit after first scan (I had no excitement for this, felt nothing towards this abstract concept that was a baby inside me) and just had 20 week scan which also I felt excited after. I still have ' OH MY GOD' days but when you speak honestly with other people I think everyone seems to go through this process to a lesser or greater degree, even those who have desperately wanted and planned children. Your hormones are also very crazy and dont underestimate this element.

PP are right in saying you have time to get your head around it, and you will eventually xx

Notmyrealname85 Wed 10-May-17 15:42:30

Do you have a partner?

Maybe you're not excited as it doesn't feel real yet?

newdaddie Thu 11-May-17 20:19:29

Yes OP it will definitely change when baby arrives if not earlier. You might love being a mum so much that it blows everything away. Or you might still mourn the life you used to have but in a 'keep calm and carry on' serene way.

Dw & I are some of those 30 something's and married so we were more 'ready' but we still miss the carefreeness and spontaneity we had before dd arrived.

Dw got pregnant in the first month of us trying like Presh and it still felt really surreal until dd was about 1 week old. Even the baby scans were a bit meh.

For us shopping and planning for the baby really helped build the excitement though. Basically nesting. Also looking at family baby pictures to try and work out what the baby might look like was really fun. Find old pics of you, the father of the baby and any other close family and also (in a light hearted way) try to work out what features you would like baby to have (or not have lol). My dd is the spitting image of her great grandma (dw's dads mum). This was quite a surprise as we didn't search back that far and dw doesn't look loads and loads like her dad or grandma.

Leishaxox Wed 17-May-17 01:14:48

Hey my baby is now 4 months and when I found out I was pregnant I was on the injections so obviously he wasn't planned my partner was really excited when we found out but me on the other hand was very scared and I didn't know what I wanted to do. It took a bit of time getting used to the fact that I was going to be a mum and I was only 19 when I got pregnant, 20 now so all I was thinking is my friends are going to be able to have fun and wear all nice clothes and everything stupid things really I did have my times when I was very excited the I had my days when I was just upset and a Basically not wanting to be pregnant... at the end I was so fed up I couldn't wait for him to come he came 5 weeks early and it was a sock took me a while to get used to the fact I was now a mum but now I'm getting back on my feet and my beautiful baby boy is getting his own personality it's amazing wouldn't change anything! So don't worry if your feeling the way you are it's mostly down to hormones.

NonStopDisco Wed 17-May-17 01:26:59

OP, I'm also in my mid 20s and expecting my first.
Everyone else seems to be in their mid thirties and on with their careers and established.
I've just been promoted, and it's not an ideal time work wise (despite us planning to have children and it seeming like a good idea when we talked about it, we own out house, and we're comfortable).
I just feel a bit young and foolish.
I hope it changes.

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