I hate my new house(20 Posts)
I'm new to mumsnet and the reason I joined was from googling 'I hate my new house' and seeing a thread posted in 2012 and the support and helpful words the lady received.
To try and shorten the story I have just moved from spending 10years in a new build to a 1950's style house that looked immaculate
When we viewed it to now feeling sick everyday I'm in it.
We've had numerous problems since moving in - from a broken boiler (which was serviced so we assumed would be ok) to dodgy electrics (electric certificate supplied) to my daughters room stinking of weed and smoke, to bodged jobs on the conservatory and utility room plus numerous other things we keep coming across.
I have lost nearly 2stone in weight, feel sick everyday, can't eat and if I do I poo it out every morning! I can't consentrate on anything and just feel sick to the stomach everyday.i wish to god that we now hadn't moved. My stupid reason for moving in the first place was that it was in never walking distance to my kids school.
You need to get a grip. These are normal things that are part of owning a house and are easily fixed.
If you post in the chat section you'll probably get more replies than here
It doesn't sound like you've been in your new house for long and sometimes the negatives can all come at once. Try to think of the positives. The reasons you moved there. Write a list of things that need changing/fixing and sort them a few at a time.
Have you been to the doctor? Sounds like there is major health issue going on. Yes you had some niggles but to be expected in an adult house and once sorted you will have lomg period before they need doing again.
Do you have budget to
Fix and decorate and make it yours? Or are you stuck with them for the time being?
Is it possible that your thyroid is over-active? I lost a lot of weight after a house move and was panicky and anxious about things and blood tests showed that my thyroid hormones were elevated. I'd second getting a health check.
We don't have a big budget to sort everything- the ex owner we'll and truly messed up the garage and utility and it's basically got to come down. It's so upsetting because we've paid for a house with integral garage and utility. would be about 30k to put it right.
I havnt been to the doctors yet but I think I should. I'm heaving now every morning and keep sobbing uncontrollably, I feel a wreck, the whole move took from last July till end of Jan and then I thought the stress would be over, but it's even worse now and I can't see an end.
I think this is a health problem rather than a house problem.
Your house problems all sound very normal to me.
I know at lease 2 people who have suffered with PTSD after a house move. My anxiety is always a lot worse for at least 12 months after a move.
Did you have a survey?
I'm off work tomorrow (much rather be at work then off feeling depressed in this house) so I think I'll book in at my doctors. Thank you so far for the helpful comments xx
Unfortunately this is ny first experience buying an older house and didn't realise a full survey would be a good idea. We only had the mortgage survey done and was happy that it said it was worth what we've paid for it. Not sure if we could blame the solicitor for not advising us to have a full survey?
Sounds like a good idea MissNancy. At least if the doctor gives the all clear, you can work from there.
I felt like that for the first few months in my house.
We both hated it so much that we would both avoid coming home after work, go out all weekend.
I was stressed and couldn't eat too.
Now I Iove it and I honestly don't ever want to move.
It will take time, one you have decorated and made it feel like yours you will feel better.
No you can't blame the solicitor, sorry,
Everything sounds normal, I wonder if it's coming from a new build you were maybe less aware of the realities of maintaining a home.
However is the garage and utility structurally unsound? I find it very strange in your op you mention things like a smelly room, but fail to mention something as huge as a garage and utility room to be knocked down.
Your reaction though isn't good, I do think you need to seek medical help, if your crying uncontrollably and being sick every day then something else is afoot and you will need to seek medical help.
I hated my house (early Victorian so loads going wrong all the time) when I first bought it. The whole process was very stressful, then I developed pre-eclampsia, almost died and gave birth prematurely 4 days after I moved in. The first year or so I felt trapped at home in a grotty old house that I hated, in a dodgy area. 11 years later I'm still here and I love it because I've made it mine - just took much longer and cost more than I'd thought.
I didn't loose stones, son uncontrollably and vomit with the stress of it though - that does not sound right at all. You really need to see your GP to get checked out thoroughly.
Yes, always advisable to get a full structural survey on an older house. Then you know what you're letting yourself in for. There will always be issues and this sounds fairly normal to be honest, although I do appreciate it's stressful. It took me a good while to settle and enjoy our house.
I'm a bit puzzled by the fact your dd's room stinks of smoke and weed, but that you didn't notice it when you moved in ?
Boilers do break I'm afraid - age of a boiler / roof / electrics are questions people would tend to ask before putting in an offer. Not that it automatically equates to a new boiler being trouble free, but it is all part of owning property really.
Being in walking distance to your dcs' school is a good reason for choosing a house. Other things you can put right once in the right location, over time, but you can't change location with a 'perfect house' if it is in the right place (even if such a thing existed).
It is a big gamble to not get a full structural survey - but one you took, so now you just go with it. Annoyance, sadness, yes - normal reaction, but the rest seems more than that - might be worth getting the Dr to check there is nothing else.
You a made a mistake and rushed in.
But It could be even worse.
I know some who recently moved year later found huge subsidence.
The structural survey missed it because it wasnt obvious at the time.
You need to make list of everything that needs doing, and when money is availble sort it out one by one.
Alternatively put the house up for sale and see what offers you get.
I agree with the others- this sounds far more like poor health than a bad house. You really need to see a doctor.
I do feel for you, moving house is extremely stressful but these do mostly sound like part and parcel of owning a house.
But why on earth would you not get a full survey particularly on an old house? I know they're not infallible but a house is probably your single biggest purchase. Why would you not get it as thoroughly checked as possible?!
It's all been one big mess, even though we found the house in July we didn't instruct the solicitor until October which was when the sellers found a house to move to, and from then on it was all go, our previous property was a new build so I was very unaware of full structural surveys and was highly relying on our solicitor to guide me through the purchase. it's not an excuse at all - I really was totally unaware (and very stupid)
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