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Emotional affair

(6 Posts)
Snicket48 Mon 13-Feb-17 13:52:52

Hey has anyone had experience of husband having an emotional affair ?
I've just found out my husband is but he denies it
Basically she's a work "friend" he stays over at her house And stays up to the small hours "just talkin" while her husband has gone to bed. He says it's not physical but refuses to back off the realtionship even though I've asked him not to have the friendship and he's been secretly meeting her for drinks and has lots of flirty texts to her - some of which say that I'm in a bad mood with him They have a pet name for each other -and phone each other for a "chat " I could go on but struggling to see through my tears
Can anyone let me know if they've had similar- how do I cope ?

MagicMoments22 Mon 13-Feb-17 13:55:56


Personally its just as bad as a physical affair in my eyes. You are the partner therefore you should not be cheated on. You have to decide whether you want to carry on with the relationship if he is unwilling to stop. How would he feel if you did the same.

There are friendships and then it can go beyond. Secret meetings and flirty texts are NOT on


MagicMoments22 Mon 13-Feb-17 13:57:38

FYI my DH has female friends and I have male friends but we would never hide this from each other or be like this

GTS Mon 13-Feb-17 14:02:17

So he's basically putting his friendship with her before your marriage?

In my opinion an emotional affair can sometimes be worse than a physical one. Secretly meeting for drinks? I'm assuming in that case he has lied to you about his whereabouts. How do you know that her husband is there and goes to bed? Perhaps he works away and is none the wiser. Sounds very, very suspicious to me and would absolutely be the end of my marriage. I would run for the hills if I were you.

Missbumble Sat 18-Feb-17 16:34:40

Hiya I'm new but when I saw your post I really felt for you. I agree with what the other posters have said, I think it can be a lot worse than a drunkenness night stand. This was all done whilst sober.

I've been in your situation my ex husband did this to me over a course of 8 years, I was young and didn't realise my worth and did try to forgive and forget, in the end it ate me up inside and I felt worthless. Resulted in counselling for us both (couples and then seperate) I became I'll and had a breakdown. Nothing worse than feeling alone when your not actually alone IMHO sad

Having said that everyone is totally different and if it's something he can work through then maybe it's something worth salvaging. It's your relationship at the end of the day, we are just little voices at the computer. I do hope your ok and get some clarity

Renners777 Sat 25-Feb-17 13:29:24

Awww bless ya must be hard and do u feel like 2nd best? I do agree with have opposite sex friends but not to the extreme your husband is taking it! Do you sit down and talk do you still have a good relationship when he's with you or is it always at the back of your mind and has your physical relationship changed is he as affectionate as he was before all this started with her just ask yourself are you happy with him or if you did split would it push him more towards her these are all the questions I would be asking myself and yes all people are different and I look at it from my personal opinion I wouldn't be able to cope with it but would be even harder if they were to start a relationship between themselves more than they are already.
Were all here for you and anytime u need a ear were are all here to support you
Hope things turn out for the best do take care of yourself j😍xx

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