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Not really sure what to do here...

(8 Posts)
sophie161185 Sun 18-Sep-16 10:55:14

Hi, first of all i'm sorry to bother people who've read this million times, but i've just found out i'm pregnant (literally 24 hours ago) and i am absolutely terrified and not entirely sure what's happening in my head. I'm in a stable loving relationship, (although still legally married to my ex, divorce will be finalised in december) I'm 30, nearly 31, and we have lovely life together, we just didn't think a baby was on the cards (yet?).

I'm not even sure what I wan't people to say to me... I can't stop thinking of all the things i'll be "giving up" and "missing out" on... holidays etc. As selfish as it is, I can't help it. Is that normal? i can't stop crying either, which is just down right foolish.

JennyHolzersGhost Sun 18-Sep-16 16:55:51

Hi OP. Sorry if I can't be much use but wanted to hand hold til someone more experienced comes along.

What is it about being pg that is upsetting you - do you think it's the shock and surprise of it being unexpected ? How is your mental health in general - could you be a bit depressed ? It sounds as though you've got a lot on your plate at the moment already so it's perfectly understandable you would be feeling overwhelmed by this news. flowers
Take it slowly and give yourself a couple of days to process it. Talk to us ! We can help smile

sophie161185 Sun 18-Sep-16 17:45:07

Hi Jenny, and thanks for the hand hold... i don't think it's upsetting me, not as such, and to be fair I cried at Homes Under The Hammer on Saturday. I think i'm in shock and trying to make somebody tell me what I need to do, which obviously that can't, I know... My bf keeps telling me it'll take a few days to sink in, and he's right, and he's so laid back he's almost horizontal, I just wish I could be the same as him!

JennyHolzersGhost Sun 18-Sep-16 20:56:57

You're very welcome ! It can be a shock. I'd suggest getting over to the pregnancy board as you're likely to find other posters who are having the same experience. Don't rush yourself - it's a big deal, it can take some time. As for what you need to do - relax as much as possible, get plenty of sleep, eat well and read Mumsnet !!
Congratulations btw flowers

MissHemsworth Sun 18-Sep-16 21:24:21

Hello & congratulations! I felt the same when I found out I was pg with DC1. We had just got back from our honeymoon, it was a real mixed bag of emotion as it happened so quickly, I was shocked but I also realised how much I needed to give up! Drinking, smoking horse riding all the things I loved doing but I did it, and I'm glad. My DH was away loads too I, & it wasn't until our 12 week scan that it really hit home.

When the baby comes you really don't care about what you give up to be a mum new borns are amazing but hard work so you really WANT to do any of that stuff. When they get a bit older you can start having nights out with the girls/DH if you want to/can get a sitter but IME you just want to slob out watching Netflix.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes it is a big lifestyle change but it doesn't feel like it as your priorities change.

sophie161185 Tue 20-Sep-16 20:51:23

Thank you SO much for those words. They've really resonated and made me feel much more confident and a little bit less terrified! It's been three days now so we're a bit more used to the idea, but equally still scared... me especially. It's funny but I'm really looking forward to carrying the baby, and actually being pregnant, it's just what comes after that I'm concentrating fear on!

Debmeg123 Thu 22-Sep-16 10:57:58

It's a big Change I had my daughter at 30 on my own. It's a change for the better I loved every single moment of it. Yes your life does change but once you have your baby you will love every moment of it. I worried as I was so independent holidays, out all weekend with my friends, did what I wanted when I wanted. It's hard a first especially the first few weeks. But believe me it will be the best thing you do in your life. My daughter is now 18 and just gone to uni and I wish I had more children as I miss her so much.

Elephantsaremygods Thu 22-Sep-16 11:03:15

once you have your baby you will love every moment of it.

Well this is setting someone up to fail from the start! Unless you loved walking a screaming baby round and round for hours and never having a spare second to have a wee - in which case I must be doing motherhood wrong grin

Congrats op. I have a 6 month old. I shan't lie to you, it's bloody hard work some days but it's lovely other days. You will be fine smile

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