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Should I stay or should I go

(10 Posts)
Ilovecrisps123 Sun 11-Sep-16 23:03:37

The sense of guilt working full time with 3 childeen (7 11 13) s taking its toll .. Mentally as much as physically .. Don't want to look back and wish I had the courage to make the change .. Do all working mums feel this way ?

IamHappy1976 Sun 11-Sep-16 23:29:56

I think all working parents feel this way. In an ideal world we'd be able to drop off the kids and be there to pick them up. Reality is somewhat different :-) What is upsetting you? Is it using wrap around care? Being tired at the weekend? Generally over whelmed?

Ilovecrisps123 Mon 12-Sep-16 00:02:40

I think it's a lot of things combined but the main thing is that I'm somehow neglecting my children , am I supporting them and being a good mum .. Just feels like constantly juggling everything and am worried I'm miserable around the people I love the most.

elQuintoConyo Mon 12-Sep-16 00:21:18

I have just left my job, i worked 4pm-10pm Mon-Fri and Saturday mornings 10-1. I have one child aged 5 and i never saw him. I dealt with some right arseholes in my job and one day it dawned on me that i don't get paid enough for the life i lead.

We'll be tightening our belts big time, but it will be a necessary change and DH welcomes it.

Everyone else thinks i'm nuts!

Good luck to you ilovecrisps123 wine

frecklesmum Mon 12-Sep-16 12:36:57

Wow elQuintoConyo I'm really impressed you've made the leap, it's something that's crossed my mind a lot recently. It's so hard to juggle everything and I always feel, apart from when I'm on holiday, that I'm not giving my DD the time and attention she needs - my mind is constantly torn between home and work and like you say it's exhausting.

I do find it comforting to know that other people are going through the same thing though... helps me feel less mad!

elQuintoConyo Tue 13-Sep-16 23:29:32

It was a very difficult decision frecklesmum and it really goes against my feminist principles grin but something had to break and I didn't want it to be my mental health. Or my marriage.

frecklesmum Wed 14-Sep-16 09:35:17

I think my marriage and stress levels would improve if I wasn't working all the time elQuintoConyo! Definitely food for thought...

elQuintoConyo Thu 15-Sep-16 21:50:00

Hi freckles we're just at the end of DS' first week back to school with me not wirking and the difference has been incredible.

Happier child, much happier parents, we are eating healthier in a cleaner house, i have seen friends a couple of times, i'm doing more of my 'hobby' that i hope to turn into a business. And i've been offered some cool part-time hours at DS' school shock which i might take them up on. (Not quite my cup of tea, but needs must and it might - just might - turn out to be enjoyable grin).

My mental health is soaring and DH feels a weight has lifted rather than feeling the heavy burden of being the main earner.

Weirdly I feel 'thinner' and lighter, even though I'm the size of 40 whales!

user1474978511 Tue 27-Sep-16 13:33:05

Terrified of making the leap and leaving my husband

Married 25 years. Paralyzed with unhappiness and pretending everything is OK for the sake of my 2 teenagers. Husband refuses to go to counselling, having tried and hated it. Been thinking like this for about 5 years and need to talk to somebody legal as I'm fairly sure that's the sad inevitable next step. Anyone else been in my shoes? Suggestion of a good lawyer for advice? sad

YorshireLass Sat 01-Oct-16 10:27:50

Wow elQuintoConyo I love your profile name - made me laugh out loud !!! Ha ha if only they knew. Well done, I gave up work too wink

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