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Is this normal or is she not ready??

(10 Posts)
ellasmum1 Mon 08-Aug-05 20:39:19

Have started trying to potty train dd(2.6 yrs).First day bare bottomed,a few wees on floor,kept saying "dont want to use potty",but straight after daytime nap i took off nappy and she kept trying for a few seconds on the potty and after a few goes did a full wee,when i was ironing in the next room!.Gave her lots of praise.
Next day she did the same thing first thing in morning,while i was not looking.However after all the hugs and praise she then just wee'd on the floor all day,which i tried to ignore and just said "wee in your potty next time".today she hasnt done anything on potty.Its as if she knows what to do but doesnt see the point in doing it all the time.Feel very confused...

Lonelymum Mon 08-Aug-05 20:59:09

Keep going. At least you have had some success. I took a deep breath and started ds3 (also 2.6, nearly) yesterday. For about an hour he remained dry, and then he wet three pairs of pants in the space of about 30 minutes, the last pair before he had even come downstairs from changing! It was almost as if he was deliberately weeing as I had said he could have chocolate buttons if he weed in the potty - but he didn't hear the potty bit! Huge crying when buttons were denied. Put nappy back on and didn't bother trying at all today!

Compared with me, you are doing well!

yingers74 Mon 08-Aug-05 21:00:45

Give it another day, and if there are more accidents then successes, it may be worth leaving it for another 2 weeks. During those two weeks, you can keep pointing out the potty and what it is for, allowing her to have a go if she wants. Good luck. I am in the thick of potty training too!

PrettyCandles Mon 08-Aug-05 21:02:12

It may mean that she just needs more attention from you. She may not yet be able to make the connection between needing to go and holding on until she gets to the potty. My dd (BTW, I've just given up the second attempt at training her! ) generally starts weeing before she realises and stops herself. It could be that your dd needs you to take her to the toilet more often - say every hour, but perhaps every 15 mins after she has had a drink until she does the wee and then every hour until the next drink. I think that the more she gets it right, the more she is likely to learn to do it properly - no learning from mistakes here. Also, if you are around her, you can notice her 'signs' that she needs to wee - wriggling, touching herself, rocking from foot to foot, for example - and then take her before she wets. That way I think she is more likely to make the connection.

Give it 3-4 days. If you see an improvement, however small, then IMO it's worth continuing.

Despite giving up after 5 days on my dd's second attempt, I did successfully train ds, so I am talking from experience .

ellasmum1 Mon 08-Aug-05 21:12:07

Thanks for the responses.Its so nice to know others are in the same boat!!I really feel the more i go on about the potty and try to get her to sit on it the more freaked out she gets!!Maybe shes actually freaked out by too much attention lol!!The other thing is I cannot stand the idea of staying in for weeks on end(espec with no garden!but on other hand cannot risk her weeing on friends carpets or in shops_I know its wrong of me but i would be too mortified!!Also she goes to nursery 2 mornings a week-tomorrow and wed .Should i put nappies on her for that??

loupylou Mon 08-Aug-05 21:16:02

As you can probably pick up in some of the other threads, i've been toilet training for almost three weeks and we seem to be there now, dd is 2.8yrs, however initially we had occasional wees in the potty, lots more on the floor and even one poo!!
I developed a series of praises which i think helped, one squirt of foamy special soap for a wee in the toilet and two one on each hand for a poo. Perhaps just a wipe for a wee on the floor.
We also have occasional conversations when i tell her what i expect, currently it's if you need a wee in the morning, you can take your nappy off and use the potty in your bedroom. I'm not pushing it every day, just occasionally. It hasn't happened yet but i'm sure i'll be over the moon, the morning it does.
As far as the accidents go, i suggest a never mind attitude which i know is difficult after 6 or more accidents, but one success makes up for it. It sounds like she's beginning to know when she needs to go, after all it's a massive step from the nappy, to knowing you need to go, to going to the toilet at the right time or telling someone and climbing on and succeeding.
Good Luck she's getting there, well done

loupylou Mon 08-Aug-05 21:22:49

Have just read your recent post, i sent dd to nursery without too, but lots of spares. She uses the toilet at home, but can't access it at nursery on her own, so more time needed. there is a potty, however i ask her regularly if she needs to go, every 40-60mins, i ask her to try before we go out and if poss when out if there's toilets. I haven't used nappies since i started her in knickers although my mum would have used them for taking her out, except that i stopped packing them! I think previous threads have found that it totally depends on the individual whether this confuses them or not, as for getting out, you may feel more relaxed to get out and it may take some of the pressure off. As far as accidents, all children learn this and anyone who isn't sympathetic i'd have to think twice about spending time with, but what's the worst that can happen, you need to change your daughter whilst out? you have to take the potty and wipes with you? Go for it! Speak to nursery about it, have the bag of spares ready in case they say it's a good idea. My dd has only had one full dry day at nursery but about 8 at home so be aware it may work better at one than the other. Good luck

ellasmum1 Mon 08-Aug-05 21:36:31

Thanks loupylou.The being mortified thing is not to do with changing her(although changing pants with sloppy poo in the other day in the back of my car when it all ended up spreading down her legs and shoes was not the highlight of my day!!!)
Its to do with other peoples/shops carpets!My house is all laminate/stone tiles downstairs so no probs.Will definatatly ask at nursery if they are ok if she wees.It is literally a big puddle when she wees,she only does about four/five a day.

KiwiKate Mon 08-Aug-05 22:21:52

Our 2.3yo DS is nearlly fully potty trained.

Ellasmum, I also didn't want DS embaressed with wet/dirty pants when out. We did it in several stages.

1. pants off at home (but nappy on all other times) - worked brilliantly, as he did not seem to be able to predict needing the loo when he had pants on;
2. pants on at home (and at Nana's house) with undies (nappy on all other times). Within a week was 100% dry at home and at Nana's;
3. occassionally nappy off for short outings. More and more he is dry after an outing and 95% of the time will ask for a toilet when we are out. Will gradually go out more without a nappy;
4. when he is ready we'll do nap time with no nappy;
5. eventually we'll get to have dry nights.

This has been totally stressfree for all of us (been going for about a month now). DS has built up his confidence and very early on went from potty to toilet - very handy for outings (we don't use a potty at all now). Of course, we've used lots of praise and encouragement, and "never mind" if there is an accident (no accidents at home now for ages).

Some people say that once you take the nappies off, don't mix nappy and non-nappy time, or it confuses them. That is simply nonsense in our experience. When DS has no nappy on we remind him that he needs to use the toilet (otherwise he might not notice he has no nappy on). We avoided pull ups because they were too comfy. So he knows he either has a nappy or needs to use the toilet.

He has not been so successful at MILs. She insists on using pullups at home, and can't understand why he just wees in his pull ups and does not ask for the toilet. (Why interupt your play when you don't have to?) Also, she never asks if he wants to go - and of course if they have not been for an hour or more, then you have to remind them. Also he did wee on her carpet twice and I think she made a bit of a scene about it. She is really cross that DS is 100% dry at my mum's place, but not at hers! But then mum has always been hugely encouraging when DS uses the toilet at her place, while MIL tells off for accidents but does not comment on successes.

ellasmum1 Mon 08-Aug-05 23:10:50

thanks kiwikate.Think i'll let her have nappies at nursery this week as its only her third week there so shes not that settled.Hopefully she will also be alright swapping between nappy/no nappy for a bit.My MIL also has her some days when i work,she does do alot of stuff differently to my family!Hate it when i've heard her saying "eeww,what a drty/smelly/yucky nappy"in the past as i Wd NEVER say that.But never have the guts to bring it up coz i know shell think im mental and we really need the childcare!Bet she wont appreciate puddles on her posh carpets!!Its got to be harder when you use lots of carers.This morning i was having a lie-in,when i heard DH shouting.What have you done?You don't wee on the floor thats naughty!And dd crying.Had to get up and explain all theory pronto,and give lots of cuddles to dd!Bet that didnt help today!

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