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Wish me luck - today's the day..!

(20 Posts)
dot1 Sat 18-Jun-05 10:26:11

So, today's the day we've told our ds1 that's it - no more nappies during the day (this is our over 3.5 year old who knows when he needs to go to the loo but has refused to wear pants and told us he's always going to be a baby and wear nappies...). We had about 2 hours of hysteria/sobbing early this morning and a refusal to eat anything (he knows we HATE it when he doesn't eat!), but SUCCESS - his first wee on the toilet an hour ago!!! . Poor thing was shaking and sobbing, but it happened - and we'd left him upstairs - he'd got his pants off, put his seat on the toilet and sat on himself and done it!

So, we're just back from a trip to Toys R Us - about £30 poorer and he's loaded up with Thomas stuff and sitting on the toilet again..!

He's still very cross we're not putting nappies on him, but I think (everything crossed) we might just crack it today....!

Just keep repeating "I'm the parent, I'm the parent..."

trace2 Sat 18-Jun-05 10:35:33

only last week did ds whos three today, tried loads of time befor with no success, now dont want to wear them at night. He will do it when ready, and i had to be ready too. good look

dot1 Sun 19-Jun-05 21:47:11

well, yesterday went really well - 2 wees in the toilet and no accidents. Today has been a complete nightmare - only 1 wee in the toilet and 2 accidents and poor old ds was absolutely distraught both times - screaming hysterics and inconsolable.

We're going to give it 2 more days, and keep him off playgroup tomorrow - he was sobbing and sobbing in bed how he doesn't want to go tomorrow in pants in case he has an accident - can't bear to send him... So we'll keep going until Thursday but then he has to go to nursery all day Thursday and Friday, so if we've not made progress by then it'll have to be back to nappies.

Sooooooooo hard. And upsetting - I've been in tears all night thinking we've made him miserable and stressed -it's not worth it...

mummylonglegs Sun 19-Jun-05 21:58:04

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trace2 Mon 20-Jun-05 12:30:44

same happend withds first couple of times, it upset me to much so waited a few weeks, and tried a diffrent way.

dot1 Mon 20-Jun-05 14:38:31

The nightmare continues... another accident today, so now poor old ds is so paranoid he's spending most of his time hopping off and on the loo just in case. It seems he really doesn't know when he needs to do a wee. We were sure he did - as he'd actually been telling us... But maybe he only does sometimes? We're giving it one more day, and then if he's still getting really distressed tomorrow, we'll give up for a while.

Poor thing - it's so hard 'cos he's incredibly bright and sensitive and of old enough to feel embarrassed and upset - even though we're stressing over and over that it doesn't matter, and everyone makes mistakes - he's always been a perfectionist (I know, even at his tender age) and hates doing things wrong.

sigh... At least we can tell nursery we tried but he's just not ready.

mummylonglegs Mon 20-Jun-05 21:02:08

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Lonelymum Mon 20-Jun-05 21:07:41

It is tough isn't it Dot? Your descriptions remind me of potty training my children (and I still have one more to go - this summer - aaarrgghhh!) I'm afraid I had a system whereby if they wet themselves more than three times in one day I went back to nappies, but I never actually gave up once I started. Perhaps the breakthrough for you might come when he does go to nursery with pants on. Maybe the nursery staff will be able to crack through his block. Worth a try?

Lonelymum Mon 20-Jun-05 21:08:39

I meant, after three accidents, they went back to nappies for the rest of that day and then started again the next day.

dot1 Mon 20-Jun-05 22:14:41

Mummylonglegs - he's aware all his friends wear pants, but this doesn't sway him one bit! Lots more sobbing today and pleas to wear nappies again... Not sure if we're (i.e. his parents!) are going to be able to keep going - today has been incredibly stressful and exhausting - and I've been at work most of the day! Tomorrow's make or break I think - just can't stand him being so sad, given that he's such a serious little boy anyway - it's like we've taken away all his happiness .

mummylonglegs Mon 20-Jun-05 22:22:23

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dot1 Mon 20-Jun-05 22:27:04

I know -it's another way of doing it. I just really wanted to go with the cold turkey option, because he's a clever little mite and is a bloody good negotiator and I could see us getting nowhere fast unless it was the 'no nappies' approach...

mummylonglegs Mon 20-Jun-05 22:29:17

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mummylonglegs Mon 20-Jun-05 22:32:07

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dot1 Tue 21-Jun-05 21:42:47

what a difference a day makes!! Today all wees and his first poo have been in the toilet, and he seems to have got the hang of it! No fuss, no tears and he's declared it's easy!!

BIG test tomorrow - he's at playgroup in the morning, so we're expecting lots of protest/hysterics, as he won't want to have to use the toilet somewhere else, especially without us, but now we've turned the corner we can't go back...

mummylonglegs Tue 21-Jun-05 21:54:22

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dot1 Tue 21-Jun-05 21:57:58

I know - I can't quite believe it! Felt so guilty about going to work today 'cos I thought it was going to be another awful day for dp, but fingers crossed we're over the worst...

Quite nervous/worried about tomorrow - and then he's got nursery all day Thursday and Friday, but I suppose we'll just have to go for it, pack loads of spare clothes, and let them deal with it...

ds has been a bit giddy/naughty today, but I think he must be so relieved he can do it, he's probably acting out a bit (or so I'm reassuring dp!!)

shrub Tue 21-Jun-05 22:14:16

i found using the word dry rather than wet worked with my ds1 also very sensitive. first we started with checking that he was dry and lots of positive reinforcement when he was checking every 10/15mins then 20 mins etc. then we started to get him to check himself every 10 mins trying to be casual about it and praise when he was. give him every opportunity to help him succeed. lots of potties in each room if necessary, pants with his favourite characters, no pants or trousers at all if he's at home to get his confidence up.
when it comes to bedtime now its summer i would have no pj bottoms on him(that way he will feel the need to go straight away), a night light, mattress protector and a potty right by the bed with gentle reminders and no reaction if he has accidents. if you think about it from the childrens point of view -we train them to wee/poo in nappies for the first 3 years and then suddenly it becomes wrong.relax and you will get there xx

dot1 Tue 21-Jun-05 22:18:06

thanks Shrub - he's still in a nappy at night - which I don't mind for at least another year! Good idea to emphasise 'dry' - we're telling him all the time how clever he is and how proud we are - I agree, it's such a huge change for them. Just worried like mad that leaving him at playgroup will get him all upset again... He's very very shy and wouldn't dream of speaking to any of the grown ups, so it's going to be difficult for him to let anyone know he needs the toilet. Dp's obviously going to speak to the staff and ask them to ask him regularly if he needs to go, but he might not tell them even then. Aarrggghhh!! I suppose we can only do so much...

Fennel Wed 22-Jun-05 10:23:22

dot1, staff at nurseries are usually very good about toilet training. far better than anxious parents. remember they've seen loads of children going through it.

glad to hear he's doing ok with it.

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