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What do you think about lifting?

(27 Posts)
WigWamBam Fri 17-Jun-05 20:37:43

My dd had two dry nights, but has been wet for the last four. One or two people on another thread suggested lifting her, but I've read that it can stop them from recognising for themselves the need to wee.

What do you think? Is it worth a try? What's the easiest way to do it without waking her fully?

KBear Fri 17-Jun-05 20:40:32

I didn't because DS hated it when I tried and got all stroppy and moody (who wouldn't?). So I just regulated his drinks a couple of hours before bed so he would still wake early for a wee but didn't wet the bed. BTW DS was dry at night for weeks then wet constantly for a couple of weeks then was dry again and rarely has accidents.

NotQuiteCockney Fri 17-Jun-05 20:48:20

We lifted for months, and it really worked. We would go in before we went to bed, lift him onto a potty in the same room, and go "psss" in his ear. He would pee, and then be put back into bed.

We had to lift, rather than leaving our ds in nappies, because he would play with his willy before bed, and leave it at a bad angle, and wet the bed. And when he was a bit bigger, he'd wake himself (and us) at 4 or 5am because he needed to pee - we preferred to make sure his bladder was empty when we went to bed, unsurprisingly.

It doesn't help move your child towards being dry at night, but it can keep them dry while you wait for their bladder to get big enough.

MaloryTowers Fri 17-Jun-05 20:50:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WigWamBam Fri 17-Jun-05 20:52:30

My dd's a bit older though - she's just 4, so her bladder's bigger anyway ... she's just never been dry at night until the two nights recently, and now she doesn't want nappies back on again.

NotQuiteCockney Fri 17-Jun-05 21:06:29

WWB, is the weeing waking her up? What time of night is she weeing?

Her bladder may still not be big enough to go all night. DS1 seems to have inherited DH's hollow leg, as I think he was going all night (with a sippycup of water in his bed to drink!) from about 3. And/or she may be sleeping too deeply to wake when she needs to wee.

If you want her to try going without nappies (as she wants), lifting may be a good interim solution. I don't think it helps kids become dry, though.

WigWamBam Fri 17-Jun-05 21:12:20

She woke up the first night she was wet, about 2am; I think she woke needing a wee but couldn't get out of bed fast enough. The rest of the time it hasn't woken her up. I was reluctant to start lifting her, but she won't wear a nappy now, and the constant washing of sheets and waterproof pads is going to be a real pain!

bundle Fri 17-Jun-05 21:12:45

the trick is not to lift at the same time every night. we don't always lift dd1 (nearly 5) but if we don't do it at all she wets the bed at least twice a week (doesn't wake up till much later when it's cold) and tbh she was finding that demoralising. she has made some progress though.

Gwenick Fri 17-Jun-05 21:13:16

We had 2 wet nights first time of trying this week - no lifting. Decided to 'lift' (well with DS we have to wake him up LOL) on Wednesday but were 'too late'. He then woke during the night having already wet, and was wet AGAIN in the morning.

Last night we lifted at 11.30 (he goes to bed around 8) and he got up around 7.30 DRY!! (He's 4 3/4yrs btw)

In my opinion lifting 'does' help - because 'all night' can be a very long time to go without a wee (especially if you've got one like mine that sleeps too deeply to probably realise he needs one) - lots of adults have to get up in the night too. I reckon that by lifting before you go to bed makes the initial 'nights' shorter - thus having shorter periods to 'hold' it.

Chatting to a friend at nursery today and she recommended lifting for 2 weeks or so (or until he's dry 'most' mornings) and then stopping.

NotQuiteCockney Fri 17-Jun-05 21:15:19

I think four is too young for that strange alarm system that's meant to help (and anyway, four isn't very old to be still wet at night). No chance of getting her to wear "cool" pull-up nappies or something?

Lifting might work as a stop-gap, anyway, until she's ready to handle this on her own. From what I know, kids are ready to be dry at night (by having a big enough bladder, or by getting up to wee) when they're ready, and what you do in the interim is up to you, IYSWIM. It's not like toilet training, it's a question of waiting.

(When kids are ready is closely related to their parents' history with these things, from what I know.)

bundle Fri 17-Jun-05 21:21:11

it's not just a case of the bladder being "big enough" but the links between it and the brain being mature enough to wake the child when it goes "ping" I'm full! also there's a hormone that sends the bladder into sleep mode and the child may not be producing enough of this to not wee in the night. the alarm thing is only recommended by ERIC once the child is 7 or 8.

Kidstrack2 Fri 17-Jun-05 21:32:36

My sister swears by this method of lifting them while asleep. Although I have never done it myself my ds just never got anything to drink after 6pm. My sister used to lift her 2 boys about 11pm every night and sit them on the toilet and they would wee mid-sleep and then be tucked up back into bed. She done this for about a 1yr until they were 4 and 5. They are now 5 and 6 and they now wake themself and get up if they need the toilet during the night.

jessicasmummy Fri 17-Jun-05 21:37:02

my aunty did it with both of my young cousins and it worked wonders.

mum and dad never did it with me and hence i wet the bed til i was about 10.....

bigdonna Fri 17-Jun-05 21:38:03

when i night trained my dd and ds i lifted them everynight before i went to bed,i did not wake them or actually talk to them just whispered in their ear "do a wee".I did this for two weeks with no accidents then they were both dry at night they were both around 2.6 yrs.Some kids dont have strong bladders i knew my kids had bladders like camels my dd can still now go 13 hrs without weeing at night!.

WigWamBam Fri 17-Jun-05 21:38:06

Gwenick, I'm really pleased that it seems to be working for your ds this time.

I'd seen that it was related to when the parents were dry at night too, and both dh and I were late. She's been wearing pull-up nappies, and has decided that they're for babies and they feel nasty, and I can't really argue with the fact that they probably don't feel nice! I offered her some Dry-Nights, telling her they were pyjama pants, but she took one look, decided they were a nappy, and wouldn't even consider it.

I'm not too fussed about these alarms or anything, she's still only little, but I'm just trying to look at the different options that I can try until she gets the hang of it for herself, or until that hormone kicks in and goes Ping!

So, what do I do - just lift her out of bed while she's still asleep, or half-wake her first?

jessicasmummy Fri 17-Jun-05 21:39:31

lift her while she's asleep - the less you disturb her the better.

bundle Fri 17-Jun-05 21:41:40

I'd gently wake her, it's good for her to feel the sensation (according to the ERIC people)

NotQuiteCockney Fri 17-Jun-05 21:41:53

I'd try it while she's still asleep, particularly if you can do it on a potty in her room. It's less disruptive to her sleep that way, and she's less likely to wake up and have to be put back to sleep again.

Our DS1 now goes 12-13 hours at night without weeing, drinks loads, and still has a sippycup of water in his bed - or two cups, in this sort of weather. But he's a hollow leg chap. I don't think lifting made him this way, though - it just meant we weren't woken by a 2.5 year old who needed to be got out of his cot to wee at 5am every morning.

Gwenick Fri 17-Jun-05 21:52:23

DH and I were both trained (day and night) very early - so doesn't work for our family

Aero Fri 17-Jun-05 22:02:01

Dd is also 4 though nearer 5 now. We had to lift her as we were going to bed as she didn't want to wear 'special pants' anymore, but was too asleep to wake herself. I can't remember how or when exactly it happened but a little while ago now we noticed she was waking herself to go for a wee in the night around 11pm (we go to bed quite late). This happened very naturally and now we don't lift her any more. Occasionally she doesn't make it to the loo, but mostly that's beacuse her room is dark and sometimes she's left a mess which hasn't been cleared up so she loses her bearings, but in that case she usually cries and we go to help her. Nine times out of ten though, she manages perfectly well by herself and it's lovely not to have to lift her. She does wee most nights though (just like her mother - I always have), so not always a case of bladder size. HTH.

WigWamBam Sat 18-Jun-05 15:15:34

Thank you everyone. In the end it was immaterial last night, as the shrieks and screams from upstairs at 10pm heralded yet another wet bed. She woke up as she started to wee, and was upset that she knew she was weeing but couldn't stop. She insisted on having a nappy on, so it looks as if we'll have to give up on it for now.

SoupDragon Sat 18-Jun-05 15:26:31

Why on earth would you lift your child and not wake them?? You're teaching them to wee in their sleep!!

Never understood it myself but each to their own.

hercules Sat 18-Jun-05 15:28:59

I've never heard of this !

NotQuiteCockney Sat 18-Jun-05 19:27:23

I didn't use it to teach DS1 anything - I used it because I didn't want to deal with him waking at 5am because he needed to wee (which he was doing, whether or not he was wearing a nappy).

Since we stopped lifting, he's had maybe two accidents, in half a year, or more.

roisin Sat 18-Jun-05 19:46:39

DS2 was in nappies until he was nearly 6. Since then we do "get him up" to go to the toilet when we go to bed. He's too big to actually lift, but I wouldn't claim he's very awake.

But like others here this approach means we only get one or two wet beds a week, rather than 8 or 9!

We have tried leaving him completely for a fortnight, but if we do he is just very, very wet.

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