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God help me, she'd so stubborn!!

(10 Posts)
Lilliput Tue 07-Jun-05 21:45:25

Day one of the second attempt at potty training today and we had five accidents and three triumphs (pees)and I am worn out battling her stubborness and her answer of no to EVERYTHING.
AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. Before anyone asks if she is really ready the answer is definately yes. We have had lots of pees on the pot before bath for about three weeks now. I admit it has always been me who has instigated her sitting and it became part of the bedtime routine so I thought that going cold turkey and straight into pants would be easier than it has been today. It's like we are having a mummy/toddler power struggle and I am buggered if she is going to win. Any suggestions? Some of the accidents occured just 10-15 minutes after I had sat her on the loo which makes it doubley infuriating and after I put her to bed I went into her room about an hour later and smelt poo so had to get her up and change her nappy. HELP!!

Lilliput Wed 08-Jun-05 08:52:00

Anyone else training or trained a very stubborn child?

loobywoof Wed 08-Jun-05 19:50:16

We are on day 6 of a second attempt - Cold turkey. Things are going ok but DS is also quite stubborn and has also had accidents just minutes after sitting on toilet. He hates me telling him to sit on the potty but when I know he's not been for 2 hours I start to get twitchy! He has held it upto 4 hours before though. Yesterday I tried to totally relax and not ask him though we did go out a couple of times and he doesn't mind trying on the toilet when we go out or come back. Anyway we had no accidents yesterday so perhaps letting him take control helped. He's had two accidents at nursery today though ( his first day there in pants) and I was so cross when I picked him up and he had a nappy on!! I insisted he was changed straight back into pants and am confident they wont do it again. Sorry I don't know the answer to the stubborn child problem but hopefully we'll both find out!

loobywoof Wed 08-Jun-05 19:51:20

We are on day 6 of a second attempt - Cold turkey. Things are going ok but DS is also quite stubborn and has also had accidents just minutes after sitting on toilet. He hates me telling him to sit on the potty but when I know he's not been for 2 hours I start to get twitchy! He has held it upto 4 hours before though. Yesterday I tried to totally relax and not ask him though we did go out a couple of times and he doesn't mind trying on the toilet when we go out or come back. Anyway we had no accidents yesterday so perhaps letting him take control helped. He's had two accidents at nursery today though ( his first day there in pants) and I was so cross when I picked him up and he had a nappy on!! I insisted he was changed straight back into pants and am confident they wont do it again. Sorry I don't know the answer to the stubborn child problem but hopefully we'll both find out!

loobywoof Wed 08-Jun-05 19:51:37

oops sorry

gingernut Wed 08-Jun-05 20:00:50

Yes! ds is extremely stubborn and often really doesn't want to go to the toilet even if he's desperate. He just doesn't want to stop what he's doing and he doesn't care if he does have an accident. Also, he isn't the sort of child who wants to please IYSWIM.

Have you tried a system of incentives? What could tempt her? I give ds a chocolate treat at the end of the day if he's been in the same pants all day. He gets a smaller treat if he has only minor accidents (e.g. damp pants). We also have a star chart - he gets stars for various things including wees and poos on the toilet and he gets a small toy every so many stars.

Lilliput Thu 09-Jun-05 21:33:19

We've had 2 accident free days BUT today she only did 2 pees ALL DAY, both on the pot and both gallons. I have been trying to get her to drink a bit more but as usual she is not falling for my persuasive tactics. She has had a sticker chart from the start but she is also a child who doesn't really feel the need to please me and she doesn't seem that bothered she only got 2 stickers today. We have a small breakthrough in that she asked for her potty this evening. I almost want her to wet herself a bit more so that she sees what the object of the excercise is, does that make sense?

shrub Thu 09-Jun-05 21:41:51

have you tried baby doll that wets with potty to motivate her, we bought one from woollies for about £6. focus on the word dry rather than wet and let her check her pants to see if they are dry and lots of praise when they are. keep asking her to check herself every 10 then 20mins and so on. we used this on ds1 from the book potty training in a day - very american but it worked, we also used food as a reward, whatever you are comfortable with - choc buttons, raisins, grapes etc. there is also a potty training book by dorling kindersley with photos - think its called potty training for girls

Eeek Thu 09-Jun-05 21:55:04

similar situation - trying SIL's advice re bribery. Her view is that kids like nothing more than blowing out candles so what you do is reward each success with a special candle which they help you light and then blow out to rapturous applause. It has the advantage of being low calorie! Having said that, we've given in and are handing out chocolate buttons for poos in the potty. DS is very offended when he doesn't get one

Tyakit Mon 27-Jun-05 12:23:29

Have never posted on here before, but this thread really struck a chord with me! We are also in the throes of our second attempt at potty training and my dd has been just soooo stubborn. It really has been a major battle of wills which I felt it was very important not to lose.

I put her into knickers last Monday as I knew she was ready. Her bladder control is amazing and she has been telling me for ages that she needs a wee or poo but was absoluely refusing to use the potty or toilet. We then had a really horrible, stressful few days with dd trying every trick in the book including going 6 hours without a wee and weeing the second she got off the potty for the first two days.

But don't despair as we seem to have cracked it now and it has only been a week in total . We have had only one wee accident a day for the last two days (not quick enough getting the potty)! She is happily going to the potty pulling down knickers and shorts and doing the business - both wee and poo. Has even been dry the last 2 nights and asked for the potty first thing in the morning!!

We have been bribing with a few choc buttons and using a star & poo sticker chart from rewardboards.co.uk and of course being very positive about using the potty and wearing pretty knickers. Also found the books 'the potty book' and 'the little princess' helpful to encourage dd, but we did need to make it clear that weeing on the floor deliberately was naughty and that choc buttons are only for good little girs who use the potty.

Good luck!

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