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AIBU to think that nursery should be a bit more helpful about potty training

(9 Posts)
babypringle Thu 23-Jul-09 18:53:27

DS1, aged 2.11, decided yesterday that he wanted to wear pants. He was at home with me and we got through the day with a few accidents but lots of successes and enthusiasm. He's going through an independent stage, so a few times he didn't tell me thst he needed to go, just took himself off to the potty and wee'd through his pants.

Today he was at nursery all day. I spoke to his keyworker, explained the situation and asked if she was ok with him being in pants.

When I came to collect him at 4.30 I was told that he'd had three accidents and policy is to put him back in nappies after three accidents. His keyworker did not mention this in the morning. The nursery nurse (who I think is a waste of space, but that's another story) was really negative about his efforts and told me that he could come back in pants for his next session on Tuesday 'if I really wanted to'. DS seemed a bit subdued and was reluctant to take the nappy off.

I'm annoyed that they don't seem to have a clue about potty training, nor do they seem willing to support my wishes.

Am I expecting too much?? A bit of me wants to complain about the attitude shown, but I'd like to be constructive not just an angry shouty person.

babypringle Thu 23-Jul-09 20:08:58

bump smile

HaventSleptForAYear Thu 23-Jul-09 20:13:24

I'd be a bit miffed but then I've always chosen to "do" potty-training with the DS when I'm off work so that they get the hang of it for a week or 10 days before handing them back to the childminder.

But our cm was always v.supportive.

Maybe they're a bit fed up of parents expecting them to do it for them?

HuffwardlyRouge Thu 23-Jul-09 20:16:37

They could definitely be a bit more supportive.

At the same time, it's not going to have a detrimental effect on your ds. Feel cross about nursery by all means, but don't worry about ds.

babypringle Thu 23-Jul-09 20:40:56

point taken, haventslept, but I didn't intend to start this week. DS just announced that he wanted to wear pants like his friend, and I decided to go with it.

If nursery had told me about their policy I would have asked that they called me to collect him after the third accident.

erin99 Thu 30-Jul-09 22:15:45

I think they should be a bit more supportive. Ours just tell us to send them in with loads of pants and trousers - I think I sent 10 pairs in the first day - and take them to the toilet about every half an hour at first so they don't get many chances to have accidents!!

LaaDeDa Thu 30-Jul-09 22:36:27

I would try and find out a bit more about what happened first. I work in a nursery and we will sometimes put them back in nappies if we don't feel that they are really ready to be potty training - ie, getting distressed when they have an accident etc or if they have run out of spare clothes and we don't have anything suitable.

However, that being said, we also will put them on the potty every 20 mins to start with and, except in exceptional circumstances, would give it longer than 3 accidents/1 day before putting them back in a nappy.

It can be difficult if there are a few of them potty training at once and you spend all your time clock watching to get them to 'try on the potty' again! Not saying that as an excuse btw but if you really don't feel that they are getting the concept it does become somewhat of a fruitless task. The nursery will be totally used to accidents and don't have high expectations but if the 3 accidents were fairly early on in the day and they had been trying him on the potty very regularly then they possibly did feel that he isn't ready.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but i know in the nursery i work in we would never put a child back into nappies just cos we got fed up of cleaning up accidents and can't be bothered to potty train them so i'm inclined to think there could be more to it.

cookielove Thu 30-Jul-09 22:42:07

i also work in a nursery in the potty training from and completly agree with laadeda, i have really only once put a child back in nappies and this was at the end of the day after his 6 or 7th accident, and we had only had him for an afternoon. Sometimes the children just aren't ready and sometimes they are

erin99 Thu 30-Jul-09 23:07:51

Laadeda and cookielove that's a very good point. Dd was put back into a nappy by nursery once because she was getting upset, even though she hadn't had many accidents that day, and I was so pleased they'd taken the initiative with that.

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