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Fed up of being called lazy!

(19 Posts)
nappyaddict Wed 15-Jul-09 09:58:55

Because DS is 3 and I haven't really made any attempts to potty train him. We've had a few half hearted afternoons of letting him go nappy free and leaving some pottys out and seeing what happens. What happens is DS wees all over the floor. Now apparently I shouldn't be so lazy and give up so easily cos it's too much hassle for me. Rant over!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 15-Jul-09 11:17:21

Mine was nearly 3 before I eve started to think about potty training him.


No one elses business. Ask them why they care so much next time they are so rude as to call you lazy.

girlywhirly Wed 15-Jul-09 14:09:21

Just an observation; some children train better if you adopt a pro-active approach. Let them stay in nappies and they think that you approve of this, and just become more resistant to giving them up the older they get.

I don't think you're being lazy, I do think your DS doesn't understand what you want him to do i.e. he's in nappies, then he's not, then he's in nappies again, then another day he's not, then they're on again iyswim? Afraid puddles on the floor goes with the territory!

cat64 Wed 15-Jul-09 14:34:30

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JoyS Wed 15-Jul-09 16:52:40

My DD1 has only just got it and she is 3.2. Had lots and lots of advice but it is NOT WORTH IT to do it before they're ready, it's just a lot of pee and heartache. She decided not to wear nappies anymore and as had 3 accidents in the month that she's been nappy-free.

KittyWalker Wed 15-Jul-09 16:55:05

IME both my children did not respond to being taught, they both did it in their own time and without any hassle at all.

KittyWalker Wed 15-Jul-09 16:58:48

It did "just happen" for both of my children cat64. DD was just under 3 and DS was nearly 3. Both decided they didn't want to wear nappies and so they were potty trained. DD had no accidents at all DS has had the odd one or two but no recurrent puddles on the floor.

I did the same as you nappyaddict. Left a potty around, teddy did a wee, dolly did a wee and eventually they decided they would use it too. Good luck!

cat64 Wed 15-Jul-09 20:09:40

Message withdrawn

bedjumper Wed 15-Jul-09 20:15:37

ds1 would have been in nappies forever if i'd left it up to him
in the end i took charge and told him no more nappies, we had wees on the floor for 2 days solid, less on day 3 and 4 and by end of week he was clean and dry 100%

girlywhirly Thu 16-Jul-09 09:54:31

Nappyaddict, are you worried that you don't know how to go about potty training? I admit I left it until day nursery told me that DS had been happily sitting on the potty there every day, and doing something! He was 2.6. Interestingly, at home DS never asked to sit on his own potty, or told me he sat on the nursery ones! I wish they had told me sooner, as we could have done the same at home. They used to put a group of them on the potty after meals together, but nappies were put on between times. (Potty practice) Then they thought he was confident enough to try the no nappies approach.

Over the weekend I left DS pantless, with a potty in the lounge and explained that if he needed a weewee or poo he could sit on it. I watched astounded as he paused in his play, made his way to the potty, sat down, and did a wee! I put nappies back on some of the time that weekend. On the Monday, DS soaked every clothing item I had sent to nursery and some of theirs, and his carseat. I felt so dispirited. It was obvious he knew what to do and seemed such a regression. After a full day at work, extra washing and cleaning carpets was the last thing I wanted to do. I prepared myself for weeks and weeks of it, but never communicated my disappointment to DS.

The next day, the nursery took off just his jogging bottoms and left his pants on. This was a really good day, he asked for the potty and used it every time. The jogging bottoms fooled him into thinking he still had a nappy on. By the weekend he could cope with having trousers on, and used to shout 'potty!' when he needed it, I would down tools and get him on it quickly, and he always did something, no false alarms. In a fortnight he was reliable, accidents tended to happen if he fell asleep in the car unexpectedly.

A month later, DS was fetching his potty from the downstairs loo, pulling his trousers and pants down and putting himself on without my help. He needed me to wipe him and help him pull up his clothes, but mainly took responsibility for his own pottying.

What I'm trying to say is that I, like you, dreaded potty training, thought it would be a long drawn out thing, and I would be fed up of washing and scrubbing carpets, tired from working full time. It really wasn't as bad as I feared.

Do you think a low-key potty practice with a nappy in between potty uses would be a good way to start your DS? Put him on the potty at certain times throughout the day and see what happens? When he knows what you want him to do you can start the more intensive no-nappies training.

Washersaurus Thu 16-Jul-09 10:05:50

Nappyaddict - DS1 is 4yo and we are still 'potty training', so don't fret about the age thing (I have A LOT). Lazy or not, there are still days I have to put him nappies because he can go through 10 pairs of pants & trousers (honestly)

We didn't start until he was 3 because he wasn't ready or interested. I believe if your DS is ready he will catch on quite quickly.

On the other hand, it appears I will still be potty training DS when he starts school in September hmm

nappyaddict Sun 19-Jul-09 12:44:00

girly not at all. It's just that I have known people start potty training and they haven't been able to leave the house for ages cos their DC are weeing everywhere. Sounds like a lot of stress to me. I also don't want to force him into it and then him to become really resistant to the idea and it take even longer because of that. Might as well just wait until they decide to do it themselves.

MartinBlankWasMyFirstLove Sun 19-Jul-09 12:47:38

Yes cat64, it can 'just happen'. My dc have both (at very different ages) demanded no nappies, and then both were dry (at night as well) with very few accidents. We did read books about poo etc beforehand but no training whatsoever.

sjcmum Mon 20-Jul-09 10:22:30

Nappyaddict - Know what you mean.... my dd1 is nearly 3 and about the only one of her age that we know still in nappies.... it makes you feel like you a bit crap that there is something you're not doing right, or maybe should be making a bit more effort about. My dd doesn't seem in the slightest bit interested in potty training yet either, and my attempts have been half hearted admittedly too. I'm just hoping that any day soon she will eventually decide for herself that she's had enough nappies.... just feels like a long wait though.... hang on in there - you're not the only one!

iwouldgoouttonight Mon 20-Jul-09 10:26:10

My DS is nearly 3 and still in nappies. We did try to potty train him a couple of months ago - thought he was ready as he kept asking to wear pants, kept siting himself on the potty, etc. All went well for one day and then he suddenly became scared of the potty - blankly refused to go on it and still won't. He gets really upset if I even suggest it! So I'm not going to even think about it now until he mentions it. I think as long as he's not in nappies when he starts school who cares!

fortyplus Mon 20-Jul-09 10:31:12

nappyaddict you are wise smile
People get confused with 'toilet training' and 'toilet reflex'. Tiny kids will wee if you put them on a (usually cold) potty but it doesn't mean they are controlling it. As you have observed, they just wee at other times because they haven't developed control. At 3 your ds is just the right age for a reward-based system. Make a start chart - star for every wee on potty. Small reward for ever 5 stars. Helps with learning to count, too!

nappyaddict Tue 21-Jul-09 01:17:22

I don't think he would really understand a reward system tbh, although we could try. I presume the toilet reflex is when kids wee on a potty but can't control it? Why does this happen?

My cousin's DD who is 23 months is "potty trained" In actual fact they sit her on the toilet every hour or so and she produces a wee. I've never seen her actually ask to go to the toilet and I think if they didn't put her on the toilet so often it's likely that she wouldn't ask to use it, but would just wee every where.

fortyplus Tue 21-Jul-09 01:19:22

I think it's a bit like boys weeing all over you when you change a nappy - the cold air on the balls makes them wee! grin

nappyaddict Tue 21-Jul-09 01:40:20

The other toilet reflex is when babies instinctively do a wee or pooh after they've been fed and their stomachs are full.

I got weed on my by friend's DD once when I took her nappy off and the cold air touched her skin. Her mum said she always does it, so it must affect both boys and girls.

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