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Anyone who has a five year plus child who is not dry at night - please post on this thread

(60 Posts)
dinosaur Tue 17-May-05 09:46:56

Please help me. DH is getting fed up with DS1 wetting the bed, and wants to go on the warpath about it. I am very concerned that making a big deal of it will just make things worse, not better.

It would be really helpful if I could say to him, look, lots of five year olds (or even better, six year olds) still wet their beds.

I've had a look in the archives and there are some threads on this (one here but I could do with some current mumsnetter input as well.

tortoiseshell Tue 17-May-05 09:53:47

Our HV said the minimum age they would start to refer for problems is 7. Which suggests anything up to then is normal.

fastasleep Tue 17-May-05 09:54:21

I still remember wetting the bed myself at about that age it was completely down to stress, I would worry that I'd do it and then the more I worried the more I did it and then my Mum would get very angry and it compounded it.... it is common, and I think the best way to combat it at the moment is to make as little fuss over is it as you possibly can and re-assure your DS that lots of kids do it... if it's really worrying you you can get a referral to a specialist from your GP.

Avalon Tue 17-May-05 09:54:33

Until fairly recently, my 11 year old has not been dry at night.

Enid Tue 17-May-05 09:55:53

dsis (sorry sis ) wet the bed until she was about 9. she finally grew out of it - they didn't ever find out why.

lockets Tue 17-May-05 09:56:34

Message withdrawn

Avalon Tue 17-May-05 09:57:15

I know a friend whose ds is 11 and he still wets the bed every night.

nearly40 Tue 17-May-05 09:58:27

hi, in my area you can't get a referral to the enuresis service until 7. Both my dd (8) and ds(5) wet the bed. Dd is a lot better now since seeing the enuresis nurse a few times. What she told us to do you can do yourselves at home anyway. You have to aim to get ds to drink 7 glasses of water a day with the last one at 7pm. This stretches and exercises the bladder, making it stronger. Take off nappies at night. Also make ds do a "special" wee wee before going to bed!. You can keep a chart for all this. After a couple of weeks I noticed that dd was having some dry nights and things got better from there on. However we slacked off on the water drinking and she has reverted a bit so need to keep at it!! Good luck I know how frustrating this all is but it is very common.

WigWamBam Tue 17-May-05 09:59:16

My uncle's daughters are 7 and 5, neither are dry at night, the 7 year old has been referred to a specialist, but there is no concern about the 5 year old as it's considered normal.

serenity Tue 17-May-05 09:59:50

My brother was still wetting at that age, he would sleep so deeply that he wouldn't wake up in time. One memorable time he actually woke up in time to get out of bed, but only got part of the way across the room before p'ing. Unfortunately he stopped by the side of Dsis's bed and did it on her head......

There are also at least three children in DS2's class (reception) who have to wear pull ups at night, I'm sure there are others I don't know about. There is one boy I know of in DS1's class (yr2) who does it, but only every couple of months.


SaintGeorge Tue 17-May-05 09:59:56

Point out to your dh that Kimberly Clarke and other big companies make a fortune from 'Pyjama Pants' - they wouldn't sell them if there wasn't a demand from older bed-wetters. Free sample and voucher on that link by the way

rickman Tue 17-May-05 10:00:07

Message withdrawn

Kayleigh Tue 17-May-05 10:01:33

Dinosaur, my ds1 who will be 7 in August still wets the bed. Sometimes he will go a couple of weeks without wetting and other weeks he can wet the bed three or four nights in a row.

Try not to let your dh get cross with him about it. IMHO that may well make matters worse.

I was also getting cross at having to keep changing sheets. Now I use the Pampers bed mats on top of the bottom sheet, so if he wets I just take the mat away and the sheet is still dry. A bit expensive if he is wetting the bed a lot, but for me it was worth it.

tabitha Tue 17-May-05 10:02:36

My oldest three (2 dds & 1 ds) were not reliably dry at night till they were over 6. Dd3 is only 15 months but I'm sure she'll be the same
In fact ds only stopped wetting the bed when we moved house when he was 6, which I thought would make him worse as he was very stressed about it, but he has been dry ever since then.
Apparently, it's very common even at age 5 or 6, especially for boys (although my dds were just as bad)and as tortoiseshell says, they don't even consider it to be a 'problem'until they're a minimum of 7.
Hope you can persuade you dh that it's not a big deal.

frogs Tue 17-May-05 10:03:13

I have a good friend whose ds1 (aged 7) still wets the bed regularly. She and her dh are very laid back about it, and just keep stocking up on mega-Pampers. Child is pleasant and well-adjusted.

One of ds's classmates (just turned 6) also regularly has accidents unless v. carefully watched, drinks regulated, lifted @11pm etc etc. Mother constantly comments to her son about it, in front of other people, also at odds with her dh about how to deal with it. Child is a nervous wreck.

Moral: it could be coincidence, but I'd go for method 1. Apparently bedwetting is highly heritable, so might be worth finding out when yr dh was dry at night!

BTW my ds (5) was completely unbothered about his classmate's bedwetting when he went for a sleepover at said child's house. I'd explained beforehand that ** had accidents and some people just can't help it, which he seemed to accept.


Caligula Tue 17-May-05 10:04:49

Can I be in your club?

DS is nearly 6 and still wets the bed. Going on the warpath is utterly pointless. It will simply lead to wet beds with a warpath, as opposed to wet beds without a warpath.

pinkmama Tue 17-May-05 10:04:53

Hi dinosaur
My dd (7) wet the bed until late last year when I got some fantastic advice from mumsnet (where else?) and since then our lives have changed. She was a regular bed wetter, several times a week. However after following a thread on here (cant remember which one) we did 2 things. a) stopped her drinking apple and blackcurrant squash and b) nothing but water to drink after 4pm. It has worked. The only accidents she has had was when she was ill earlier this year. It was simple and instant. i am sure there are cases where these arent the triggers, we were just lucky that they were the ones for her. But I cant beleive the difference.

pinkmama Tue 17-May-05 10:08:02

Just wanted to add, like others have said, think main thing is not to let it become an issue. I was really careful to always be sympathetic to her, even though there were times in the middle of the night I felt irrationally cross, however it started to become an issue for her, she started appologising lots for it which made me feel really sad for her. It was at that point I thought enough is enough and consulted the power of mumsnet!

bundle Tue 17-May-05 10:09:35

dd1 is nearly 5 and wet the bed again last night. there are 2 basic causes: one is a failure to produce enough of the hormone which sends the bladder into sleep/nighttime mode, the other is a lack of the signals from the bladder to the brain to Wake Up and Wee (ie a bladder thing rather than a hormone thing). both are to do with maturity of the body from what i remember. dark urine in the morning means they are producing the hormone, so the alarm things are used to teach the child (pretty brutally but it usually works) to wake and go for a wee. if the hormone is lacking you can get that in a drug form. i'm not at all worried about dd after speaking to an enuresis nurse who herself had 2 of her sons bedwet for many years (one still on the hormones in his teens). if you do "lifting" try to do it at different times so the bladder doesn't become even more "lazy" and the advice is also not to reduce fluid intake as this exacerbates the problem. oh and asking a child to wee when their bladder isn't full also sends out the wrong signals, so parents need to be aware of this when potty training. i always leave a clean sheet and pampers bedmat next to dd's bed so that changing isn't a big deal and we sporadically use a sticker chart, though i suspect if i used it all the time it might be more successful. please don't worry, sounds perfectly normal to me. oh, and it runs in families, iykwim

Lonelymum Tue 17-May-05 10:11:16

My children never once wet the bed once they were potty trained from the age of about 2.9 - 3 but then the oldest two did have a lapse for no apparent reason when they were about 5. The eldest, particularly, wet his bed quite frequently for a while. It was particularly hard to put up with as he had never wet the bed before.

I wondered if it was just down to him being at school and getting more tired during the day so that he slept more deeply at night and didn't wake up in time for the loo (I think nearly every wetting occurred just before the morning, rather than in the middle of the night).

Just a thought.

Potty1 Tue 17-May-05 10:27:44

Dinosaur - both my boys, whilst being dry in the day from about 2 1/2 were wetting the bed up until about the age of 9. Our Gp said to me that if you took all the boys from my ds's class probably half of them wouldn't be completely dry at age 7. Its is so common.

I wonder, how old was your dh when he was dry at night? Mine was very late (apparently)and when he was moaning about stripping beds at 5 in the morning I took great pleasure in reminding him of it.

dinosaur Tue 17-May-05 10:31:41

DH's mum is dead, and he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad (he didn't have a good relationship with his mum either) so I don't think we could find out.

He does keep saying though that he thinks that if he had wet the bed at DS1's age he would have got in a lot of trouble for it. He has told me some other stories about his parents which means I well believe it. E.g his dad once hit his little brother with a belt because he made a mess with some make-up on his mum's dressing table.

My siblings and I were not bedwetters.

soapbox Tue 17-May-05 10:32:23

Dinosaur - this organisations - ERIC - has some useful information.

We have only just started to see an improvement in my DS(5) over the past few weeks. He now wets about once every 14 days, but this is a massive improvement!

Once I had read the information on ERIC website, I think I just relaxed about the whole situation, accepting that he would pick it up when he was old enough. Strangely enough soon after that he was more or less dry at night

Perhaps I had inadvertantly been making him anxious about it????

Out of his class at school, about 5 are still not dry at night, or at least 5 parents have confessed to them not being dry perhaps there are more!

Of my DD's(Year 2) class there are 3 children still not dry that I know of.

There is a genetic component to this apparently so it is worth finding out if there were bedwetters on either side of your family. My sister was not dry at night until after puberty!

So we all blame her

Cristina7 Tue 17-May-05 10:33:50

DS is 5.5. He's been dry during the day from 1.5 years old. He has stretches of up to a week (maximum was 13 nights) of not wetting the bed, then wets it again.

DH is more concerned than I am because he remembers not going on a camp or sleepover when he was a child because he was afraid he'd wet the bed and be made fun of.

I hadn't realised DS was worried about it until we came home yesterday with a friend from school (a girl he likes) and he asked me quietly if I'd changed the sheets on his bed.

bundle Tue 17-May-05 10:34:54

having family members who were bedwetters does increase the chances of being a bedwetter but it can happen to anyone

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