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I feel like crying .......

(6 Posts)
xmummy Tue 30-Jun-09 19:21:42

Where do I start - it is not just about potty training, but my sons behaviour...

My DS is 37 months and goes to nursery 3 days a week - he has been potty trained for a while and was doing very well - with the odd regression but going well on all fronts.

He has now gone from pooing once a day in the toilet to peeing himself infrequently and pooing himself 2-3-4 times a day - the poos are quite loose. I dont really know what to do - we have done sticker charts etc and work temporarily but not long term.

The nusery are worried and said maybe I should talk to the doctor about it particularly as his poos are loose - they were never that firm but more firm that they are currently.

Can anyone tell me if this is a phase or if there is actually something wrong with him physiologically - I am at my wits end to be honest?

Here is the behaviour bit.......

The nursery are also concerned about his behaviour - they say he is an angel with one on one or small groups but incites his friends to behave badly when he is in a large group - they say he also has a very short attention span for anything that does not fully interest him. He is the oldest in his group and is due to move to preschool at the nursery next month (I dont know if he is bored by the younger kids or not). They say he doesnt listen and is being repremanded more and more for this behaviour (I do like the nursery overall and feel confident about their techniques).

Today he was particularly bad and - they had a fish and live crab for a key stage learning activity - he thrashed the fish (it was already dead) against the wall trashing it and pulled the legs off a live crab (I have never seen him behave quite so aggressively as he has today) - they also said he was pushing and encouraging his friends to misbehave.

The nursery asked me what I thought and I wonder if the potty problem is connected to the behaviour at all. I told him off rather sharply today for being naughty this morning - I was very cross (maybe too cross) and wonder if this caused it?

They also mentioned that maybe I should take DS to the doctors for behaviour problems - they cited an example of another child getting a vitamin supplement which calmed him down - this scared the living daylights out of me. Overall I truly believe my son to be a kind, loving and caring little boy (which the nursery voluntarily agreed with) - he is however very very energetic and into everything and does tire me out - but I have never seen him as a child with ADHD or anything like that as he is not aggressive etc

To be honest I am having a rather rough time of it myself and although I am trying my best to be a good, calm and centred mom - I am getting cross very easily at the minute and infact and trying to seek help for depression from the NHS - as feeling very low and feel exceptionally tired - but I keep trying to keep positive for the sake of myself and my family - but it is hard. My partner thinks that my sons behaviour has worsened since I have been feeling so low emotionally and getting angry.

I am so sorry I have babbled on for so long - but I am finding it hard to isolate what the various causes might be and wondered if anyone had any thoughts or experiences they could share

I would be really grateful to hear from you
Thanks xx

Doozle Tue 30-Jun-09 21:05:03

Sorry you're having a hard time with all this at the minute I don't know what to suggest but wanted to bump for you.

Hope someone comes along who can help.

Wonder if you re-post in Behavious/Development, you may get some more replies?

ches Wed 01-Jul-09 05:04:27

I think you should take him to the doctors about his poo and have him moved up a group ASAP. He is clearly bored and boys can be very boisterous. I got told over the winter on occasion that my DS had been rough, and every time I'd say "did you play outside today?" and the answer was no.

Fruitysunshine Wed 01-Jul-09 10:35:36

I am a believer that negative behaviour is in response to a situation he is encountering somewhere that is making him unhappy. Maybe start by giving him a cuddle or two extra a day to make him feel a bit more secure could be a good starting point.

There could be many reasons for the behaviour change but it has come from somewhere and I would suggest it is how he is feeling inside. Ches makes a good suggestion about him getting outside on a daily basis and working off some excess energy. If you have more concerns than that the GP should be able to help.

Good luck!

BoysAreLikeDogs Wed 01-Jul-09 10:42:40

okay

seperate things going on here, lets have a go at unpicking them

the poo issue:
Is he constipated - I ask because once a poo becomes impacted (stuck) at the entrance to bottom, you can get 'overflow' whereby softer poo flows around the blockage, lots of soft or runny poo, skiddy pants and giving an appearance of almost diarrhoea. See GP, get advice on this.

The behaviour , well, I agree, boys need a LOT of exercise, mine needed running out twice a day, might be worth having a word with your HV to get tips on managing his behaviour if it doesn't improve

IME a constipated child can be awkward and difficult until they have cleared their blockage, so the two things may in fact be related after all

good luck

BaronConker Wed 01-Jul-09 18:55:49

The vitamin supplement your nursery mentioned might just be Eye Q, the fish oil stuff with omega 3s and 6s. We give this to my DS1 (now 6) as he has a tendency towards aggressive behaviour and problems concentrating and so many people have told us this helps their child. It's so hard to say if it helps, as he goes through phases anyway, but Prof Winston off the telly gave it to one of those 'Child of our time' kids who was very aggressive, and he's a firm believer! It's expensive, £10 a bottle, but they do 3 for 2 at Tesco...
HTH

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