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Nanna running out of toilet training ideas...Help!!!!

(10 Posts)
katek Tue 16-Jun-09 11:04:01

Not often us nannas admit we're foxed but my just turned 3 grandson is proving to be a bit of a handful when it comes to toilet training. He started off really well and within a couple of days was asking to go for a pee, but poo was a different matter. He stands to pee and no way would he sit on the loo/potty to poo. He said he was scared and that he'd get squashed. For a while he just wouldn't go at all except in his pants. He then seemed to go backwards with pee as well and just messed himself in his pants or wherever he was standing. My daughter went back to the beginning on the advice of her health visitor to persevere. No nappies, no pull-ups, no going out and regular trips to the loo. this has seemed to work with the pee but he still won't poo in the toilet with any regularity. One day he'll do it all by himself and the next day it's in his pants and he says he wants to keep it. My daughter started childminding twins - boy and girl - round about the same time as she started toilet training so I don't know if that's had any effect on him. On the other hand the twins are a few months older so he has them to copy and we all allow him to come to the loo with us. My daughter and son in law also tend to go away quite often in their caravan and they heve been away a couple of times for the weekend during training although my daughter has stayed at home or at friend's houses for the past couple of weeks.

Nanna has more or less run out of ideas, although I still feel he needs more of a daily routine. Maybe ~I should just go back to knitting Shreddies!

girlywhirly Tue 16-Jun-09 12:34:50

katek, how much does your dgs understand about his body and why it makes poo, and why it needs to come out of his body? Would it help to buy a simple anatomy book for little children to explain the process? You say he wants to 'keep' his poo, it's common for children to be possessive about their poos, and also to want to touch them and play with them. And some just hate the feeling of it dropping away from their body.

Some people make up stories about the poo needing to go down the toilet to join their 'poo mates' or they'll be lonely! And make a big thing of flushing to send it on its' way. Sometimes a bit of novelty appeals.

katek Tue 16-Jun-09 13:04:49

Thanks GW. Hadn't thought about actually explaining the process of digestion to him. At the moment he thinks his food goes into his tummy and then down his legs! will try looking for simple picture book. any and all suggestions welcome!

erin99 Tue 16-Jun-09 13:24:20

would he poo in a nappy if he were offered the chance? Once he was doing that, you could work up to putting nappy on potty and on from there.

My dd is only 2 weeks into toilet training and even though she's not worried about pooing in potty/toilet she finds it really difficult to relax enough. She seems to spend all day on the potty sometimes! I hope she'll get used to it and it'll get easier. I can only imagine it would be very difficult for them if they're worried about losing their poo.

Has he read 'Have you seen my potty'? Great book, and all about pooing in the potty or 'poo-pot'

pranma Tue 16-Jun-09 18:25:32

I am a grandma with a very similar problem.My dgs who is 2.8 is very happy to wee in potty but scared to poo.He decided to use the potty himself just before his baby brother was born and soon got the wee bit.He did one huge poo in potty and was terrified!He then refused to poo at all for a week.Now he takes himself off into a corner and poos in his pants.In the last couple of days he has done some of hos bm's in his potty but hes not happy.He looks sort of 'old' and worried when he does it and he is such a sunshiny articulate little boy usually.I will watch this thread for help.I will try the book.

katek Wed 17-Jun-09 10:28:25

Thanks for suggestions - I've been looking for a suitable book on digestion but a lot of them are too old for him with pictures of intestines etc. Don't want to add to his worries by making him think he's got all this yucky stuff inside him! Something simple with just a depiction of a tube and a big round tummy would do. Can anybody recommend anything?

I also wondered about old fashioned double layer trainer pants. He'd still think he was in big boy pants but the extra layer would prevent the worst of the accidents penetrating to the outside! Anybody used these? BrightBots have some lovely coloured ones and there are still the older style cotton ones as well.

He also says he wants to be a baby...not sure what that's about.

pranma Wed 17-Jun-09 14:10:47

Is there a new baby on the scene or expected?

girlywhirly Wed 17-Jun-09 18:26:22

katek, why not draw a simple diagram, a tube leading to a bag (stomach) and another long wiggly tube for the intestines. It doesn't have to be a work of art!

You could explain digestion like this:

We eat our food by chewing it up and swallowing. Then it goes down a tube inside us to a bag which is our stomach. It gets broken up into tiny pieces, but we don't feel it. Then, the food goes down a very long tube which takes a very long time, where all the good bits from our food are used to make us grow big and strong, and keep us well. Some bits of food can't be used, so they turn into poo, which then comes out of our bottom, because we don't need it.

Trainer pants might be useful. Look at and click on Upsey Daisy childrens products, they do garments from 2-3 yrs up to 12 yrs, if other training pants are too small. The Upsey Daisys have padded pants that look like proper underwear. They were extremely helpful on the phone when my friend was looking for bedwetting garments for her 10 yr old.

katek Thu 18-Jun-09 09:19:51

Hi Pranma and GW.

No, there's no new baby on the scene or expected, but there is a lot of big boy stuff like starting nursery after summer, learning to share, riding a bike etc. He also still has his dummy for bed and his taggy but is asking for them during the day which he never used to. Perhaps there are just too many big boy things at once??????????

I'll put my artistic talents to the test at the next available opportunity and see how he reacts! Will definitely look at site you suggested GW, at least trainer pants would prevent lots of the puddles. My daughter is getting very frustrated-he's been such a good baby/toddler up 'til toilet training. He's always slept well, good eater, talks well, socialises etc, that she's finding it hard to deal with this challenge.

Thanks for your input.

pranma Thu 18-Jun-09 17:54:03

My dgs says he doesnt like to poo and gets quite upset when he does.If he has an accident he says,'are you sad Mummy?Are you upset?Am I naughty?'She tells him of course he isnt naughty and she is happy,only a bit sad for him that he is uncomfortable.I wonder what cm has been saying.Mind you I did suggest she should leave out the bit about being happy-if he thinks she is happy then there is no incentive...I dont know.He too is a gorgeous boy,has his dummy etc to sleep,however there is a new baby brother.He wears 'big boy' pants all day and pullups at bedtime.

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