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DD won't tell me she needs the loo....

(8 Posts)
alicedee Mon 15-Jun-09 12:59:48

Potty training is going well for my 2 yr old girl, but she just won't tell me she needs to go.
It only works because I have to constantly ask her if she needs to go and put her on anyway, even though she always answers no.
I know this is probably a boring and well used thread, but I'm a newbie...
Any ideas??
She is also starting nursery this week (2 days a week) and I worry that she won't tell the staff she needs to go.
I have to say, I'm so sad that she's going to nursery, I can't believe that I'm the clingy one and I'm trying my hardest not to let her feel my anxiety...

notnowbernard Mon 15-Jun-09 13:07:56

Hi and welcome to MN

Have you browsed the potty-training threads? Some really useful stuff there smile

How old is dd? Big difference between a just 2yr old and a nearly 3 yr old when it comes to tiolet training IMO

GoodWitchGlinda Mon 15-Jun-09 13:23:03

Just started PT with my DD (2 yrs 3 mths) and seems to us that the accidents are the way they will learn. If you put proper pants on them, they will feel that they are wet, and then you can explain the concept of feeling the need, asking to go, etc.

Over the weekend, we let our DD wonder around in minimal clothing, and kept the potty near by, and by the end of the weekend, she was deciding herself to go and sit on the potty when she needed to. But, she is in nursery now for a few days, where she will need to ask to go and need help with her clothes, etc, which is a lot more difficult, but again, I think the accidents will help her to learn to think further ahead and ask before it is too late. Not sure if you are using pull-ups or anything, but I am avoiding them because I think they will confuse - there is no need to ask to use the potty if they can just go in their pull-ups and suffer no consequences - it is just like being back in a nappy.

Trial and error I think.

But, just a thought, if your DD is just about to start nursery, might it be better to wait for her to settle in before PT? It might be too much all at once? Just a thought.

Try not to feel bad about letting her go to nursery - it is hard I know, but she will get so much benefit from it, mixing with lots of other children and doing loads of activities that you can't do at home. You will probably notice her development speed up once she is settled in because she will copy all the older ones. I think nursery is really good for them. But I know it is hard sad

alicedee Mon 15-Jun-09 20:09:54

Hey thanks guys,

DD is 26 months and wears pants. I too, don't agree with pull-ups (confusing) and believe in taking the plunge. I don't mind a few accidents here and there.
I'm so proud of her and the good progress she's made, I just can't seem to explain in simple enough terms how to tell me before she wees, not after

Accidents are few and far beween, but only because I take her to the loo/potty anyway. At least she'll have a wee even if she didn't really need one!

We couldn't really avoid the nursery and PT happening at the same time, not my choice. PT was already underway (and you can't back track in these things!) when a nursery place became available.

I'm going to go check some other PT threads, see if someone's had a brainwave.

ches Tue 16-Jun-09 02:42:17

I'm of the opinion that we are the parents and it's our responsibility to keep them clean and dry, be they in nappies or out of them. I think that taking your child to the toilet regularly is far less hassle than changing nappies and that it allows them to develop the skill of using the toilet on their own slowly and gently. We respond far better to POSITIVE reinforcement than negative reinforcement.

differentnameforthis Tue 16-Jun-09 04:57:00

I wold prompt dd for some time after she had succesfully potty trained. Goes with the territory, imo.

DD is almost 6 & still needs the odd prompt before bed/leaving the house.

GoodWitchGlinda Tue 16-Jun-09 09:51:35

I was training DD over the weekend (prompted by her) and it was all going great until she went to nursery yesterday, now we are back in nappies! grrrr. She was too shy to 'go' at nursery, so held it in all morning until she was doubled up in pain, so they had no choice but to put her in a nappy so she would go. Filled 2 nappies in 10 minutes. Now today she says she doesn't want to do potty at nursery. sad

Poor DD - she was so pleased with herself over the weekend. Only in nursery 2 days so hopefully we will get back on track later in the week. We may have to swap between nappies and pants for nursery days hmm not sure if that is the right way to do it, but not really sure what else to do.

ANyway, my point to the OP is that potty training and nursery may not mix well, so if your DC is about to start nursery for the first time, you might find it causes a set back in potty training.

Sorry for minor hijack, but just wanted to put that in there as something to consider. smile

alicedee Wed 17-Jun-09 12:24:39

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your setback. I'm sure once your DD has settled, things will improve.
Have you considered letting her take her own potty? Maybe she'd feel more at home that way.
How are you feeling about the whole nursery thing?

This is my first child and the letting go bit is proving really hard for me. I feel so irrational about this. I know she'll benefit from nursery (she's a v. sociable and active kid), but I just miss her badly...

My DD had her first settling in period on monday and told staff that she needed to wee (amazing) but wouldn't go to the loo with someone else, luckily I was there to take her.

She has another settling in bit today and on friday, so I'm hoping that with my encouragement, she'll go without me... we'll see.

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