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Preschool in september and still in nappies - what happens if there's no change by then?

(55 Posts)
FenellaFudge Sun 07-Jun-09 13:32:47

DS is 3.2 and showing absolutely no signs of wnating to get out of nappies.
I am trying to maintain a balance between encouraging him and not turning it into an issue for him.
(Have also posted this in Preschool topic.)

I'm generally of the belief that he'll let me know when he's ready and that it's best to work with him rather than deciding the time myself and expecting him to fall in with it.
I'm now worrying about his preschhol placement for september. I assume he cant be in nappies when he goes? Or even if he can then he'd possibly be a bit of an oddity?
I dont want to postpone preschool, he's been with me since he was born and i think now is the time and he'd really get something out of it.
Anyone had any experience of this?
Is it at all feasible that a child can go from completely disinterested in toilet training to reliably in pants in th space of 3 months?

MissisBoot Sun 07-Jun-09 13:36:18

He should be able to go to preschool in nappies if he still needs them by then.

Three months is still plenty of time - he could wake up tomorrow and be dry by the end of the week.

Do you think he knows when he needs to go to the toilet? Does he tell you if he's going to go? Do you have a potty around teh house or encourage him to sit on it - ie before bedtime or when you go to the toilet?

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 07-Jun-09 13:39:11

he can't be excluded from pre school, though they may ask you to put him in pull ups

And yes the child can get it in a very few days if the timing is right, ie they are ready

FenellaFudge Sun 07-Jun-09 13:42:23

The thin I've been trying to concentrate on is getting him aware/ letting me know he's aware that he needs to wee/poo but nothing! He has never let me know and i dont detect any signs in him that it's even something he notices.
Yes, we have 2 potties which are out and he'll occasionally sit on one if i read a story but has never done anything in there even though I'm sure he probably needed to.
The potties are starting to look rather uncomfortable for him now (v. long legs) so I'm also introducing the idea of using the toilet but he seems even less keen on that.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 07-Jun-09 13:44:30

Sounds like he is not ready yet

Put away the potties and try again in a month if you like, to take the pressure off you and him too

FWIW both my boys were well over 3, both graduated straight to the loo, no faffing with potties; we used a trainer seat so they didn't fall through lol

FenellaFudge Sun 07-Jun-09 13:45:16

Hmm, thats what I'm hoping - that when he decides the time is right it will all slot into place very easily - part of my reasons for wanting him to lead.
Fingers crossed this happens sooner rather than later!
I cant help but feel that the staff would resent having to change a 3yo shitty bum.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 07-Jun-09 13:48:02

They have to accommodate the individual needs of each child, so shitty nappy is par for the course


MunkyNuts Tue 09-Jun-09 15:44:00

My DS is 3 in September and also needs to be potty trained by then for school. I didn´t think he was ready but thought we´d have a go and after many, many accidents it now seems to be clicking, 2 weeks later. No pressure but lots of praise and cheap gifts as prizes. My advice is to persevere if you can bear to and completely abandon the nappies except for sleep times, get ready to run when you see signs of needing a pee and even if you just catch the tail end in the potty or loo give lots of praise. I initially thought DS didn´t know when he needed to go but within a couple of weeks of legging to the loo he´s learnt to recognise the need and is getting much better at holding on til we get there. We still have dribbles and wet patches but not so many. Takes a lot of patience and washloads but think you´ll see a change within a couple of weeks. If you need a break maybe wait a while then start again but my advice is to let the accidents happen cos they learn through them eventually.

FenellaFudge Tue 09-Jun-09 15:48:02

Thanks for that Munkynuts.
Glad it's working out for you.

MunkyNuts Tue 09-Jun-09 18:11:41

Thanks, I think we´re finally getting somewhere. There were many times when I was questioning if I should stop and wait til later, but I read lots of posts and spoke to people who encouraged me to keep at it. It´s a tricky one, if we´d waited maybe the next time it would have been less messy and quicker to grasp. But I really do think DS learnt from accidents, cos I really did wonder if he even knew when he was actually peeing to start with! DD1 was a completely different story, got the idea in 2 days - boys have different agendas...

fucksticks Tue 09-Jun-09 18:19:45

DS1 never showed any signs of being ready. He couldnt tell me when he needed a wee or a poo. He didnt seem to notice when he was wet and if he had just done a poo and I could tell.. I would say 'have you done a poo DS?' and he'd say 'no'
We had a potty and he didnt do anything on it, thought it was better as a hat etc

One week I just thought I'd try and go into full on potty training and see what happened.
One week later he was dry and clean and after the first couple of days hardly any accidents at all!
Chocolate buttons, potty in front of TV and a sticker chart all helped!
There was no stress or pressure, just a big game for DS really. I'm pretty sure he would have waited YEARS if I'd left it up to him to show the initiative smile

I reckon theres every chance he'll be in pants before September! Good luck.

MunkyNuts Tue 09-Jun-09 18:29:42

Good luck whether you decide to go for it now or wait a while, it will happen - it´s all about getting the first few wees on the loo, having lots of spare pants and being as relaxed as you can about it. Let us know how you get on.

eskimum Tue 09-Jun-09 18:39:02

Are you using disposable nappies? Part of the problem can be that they are so good these days, ie absorbant and feel dry even when wet iykwim. So it is difficult for the child to know they've 'done one' and doensn't really give them any incentive to tell you when they have because they're still quite comfy thank you!

FenellaFudge Tue 09-Jun-09 18:44:42

I think I'll maybe give it a try the way you suggest MN, just no daytime nappies at all and see what happens.
Fucksticks <snort> - your ds sounds exactly like mine, so that gives me hope.
It's times like this I wish I wasn't renting. And that the carpets weren't cream hmm

FenellaFudge Tue 09-Jun-09 18:48:19

Good point Eski, I've wondered that too.
Have tried those pull ups that apparently give the sensation of being wet but he's got snake hips so has constant builders bum. Or worse!

eskimum Tue 09-Jun-09 19:02:21

You may have already done this but I found taking him to the shops and having him choose some pants with Thomas/Iggle Piggle/whatever on, was all part of it. All part of him getting the idea that using the potty/toilet could be a Good Thing.

eskimum Tue 09-Jun-09 19:04:16

Admittedly my ds insisted on wearing the new pants on top of a nappy for a few weeks smile, but hey he got there in the end.

FenellaFudge Tue 09-Jun-09 19:05:30

Oh yes, he loves his Mickey mouse pants - over the top of his nappy hmm grin

FenellaFudge Tue 09-Jun-09 19:06:32

Ha... Snap!

MadamAnt Tue 09-Jun-09 19:09:07

If he's not out of nappies by September, there's a good chance that he'll be motivated by seeing other boys and girls using the loo.

RosebudIncubator Tue 09-Jun-09 19:19:55

Agree with Munkynuts on all her points. I think there is "logic to the madness" that lots of our parents employed- choose 1 week for potty training and stay in and around the house for that week. Keep the child in just pants so they feel the results if they don't get to the loo in time.
Our neighbour put down plastic sheeting in the whole house while she was potty training her son. (there's some stuff that is like huge stickytape that you can stick down and doesn't leave any residue when you take it up- it's for decorating etc.)
With DD1 we worked on logical timings- first thing in the morning and after her afternoon naps we alwasys sit her on the loo (we have a 2 tier toilet seat), then approx 40 mins after a larger drink or meal we also ask if she needs to go. Toilet times are fun, lots of chatting and praises.

Persevere and I'm sure you'll crack it by September. Good luck!

(Personally I think almost every child is ready for DAYTIME nappy-freeness by 18 months. DD1 was potty trained at 21 mths (was prob ready at 15 mths, but with building works & DS2 on the way didn't think it was fair), DS2 loves sitting on his potty, when he's in washables he usually saves up his poos and wees for the potty, 90% of the time poos on the potty- absolutely hates a poopy butt, probably due to me being extra sensitive to the smell and always having changed him in seconds after he's done one.)

ohdearwhatamess Tue 09-Jun-09 19:20:13

They have to take him in nappies now, so don't worry about that.

Ds1 was still in nappies when he started preschool, just after Chrsitmas (was 2.8 years). I tried that half term (2nd attempt) to potty train - hopeless. I tried again 6 weeks later during the Easter holidays and he took to it like a duck to water. I was amazed.

3 months is a long time at this age, so it is quite possible he'll 'get it' in that time. Even if he doesn't, he'll see all the other boys weeing and will probably get the idea from that.

FenellaFudge Tue 09-Jun-09 19:22:28

Well, I'm feeling very encouraged by all this.

FenellaFudge Wed 01-Jul-09 19:11:58

Had the New Parents Open Day and apparently its compulsary that the kids are toilet trained.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, I want him trained anyway but if he's just not ready...

Dont like the idea of having to force him or train him in a way I wouldn't have otherwise, ie on my (or rather pre-schools) timetable and not on his.

Makes me feel that sending him is not the right decision, even though, this issue aside, I felt sure it was.

Also a bit surprised based on what others have said.


BoysAreLikeDogs Wed 01-Jul-09 19:14:05

fenella the DA means that they caanot refuse on those grounds

hang on, I'll have a dig around

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